Selecting The Most Appropriate Counsellor Jarrow
Your relationship with your counsellor, is unlike any other.
You will likely be sharing details of your life, that you wouldn't normally share with anyone else.
Professionals are used to dealing with life's personal details, but you may not be so used to opening up in this way. The wrong counsellor can mean wasted money and lack of results, as well as reduced motivation.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
Finding the right counsellor means developing a therapeutic association which is based on:
- Secure - Feeling safe is a pre-requisite, before we can open up and reveal personal aspects of our worries, to anyone.
- Permission - The therapy room should be a safe space where you have permission to express your feelings in a safe and protected environment. An experienced talk therapist can "hold the therapeutic space" no matter what trauma or issue arises, and help you navigate it, without feeling judgement or blame.
- Synergy - Good input from both you and your therapist, co-ordinated properly, is important. Clients need the counsellor to lead the session, set a safe space, and assist with new perspectives needed. Equally, the counsellor depends on you to be as honest and open as possible, or they have nothing to work with, and little progress can be made. A mutually supportive, collaborative environment can help you get the change you want quickly, with the minimum of discomfort.
- Equality - Mutual understanding and appreciation is required throughout your counselling session and should underline all your work in the therapy room. e.g. If the speed of work is causing too much upset, or discomfort, speak to your therapist about slowing down so that you match each other's pace, and expectations. Also bear in mind, that no matter how emotionally painful something may feel in the short term, it's important to trust that the counsellor is leading you towards a comfortable resolution. When you've been able to overcome a few small issues after starting out with your counsellor, confidence can grow.
- Paying Attention - Is your counsellor alert and absorbing your feedback and input during sessions? A counsellor's silence can often be mistaken by the client as boredom or lack of interest. However, an experienced therapist is often ascertaining more from silence, or how the client fills in that silence - than the spoken word. Sometimes it's difficult to focus during sessions when feelings are raw and vulnerable. Even at these times, listen to how your counsellor is guiding you toward a better understanding of events, and meanings that are easier to cope with. We all have our stock responses for certain questions, that have become our usual responses, over the years. However, concentrating on the questions asked, and providing answers that are unfiltered, and represent your true thoughts and feelings, will help you achieve results noticeably better, than simply responding with what you think you should respond with.
- Sympathetic - Before beginning to change any one thought pattern, or conclusion we've arrived at, as human beings we need to know that the meaning we arrived at, for certain events, is ok, and acceptable. It's important to be able to feel that your counsellor is empathetic to your concerns and upsets, understands how and why you feel the way you do, and yet is also willing and able to help lead you to a better place about the issues you're bringing to therapy.
- Confidence - We don't usually start therapy in a confident place. Most commonly we've tried everything we can, on our own, to feel better, but were unable. Results from counselling take time - we are dealing often with long term or deep seated issues, that need solid detective work, before beginning the process of change. An experienced counsellor can use the minor gains made during initial sessions, to help build your confidence that bigger gains are likely, later in the process. Hope can carry us through even the darkest of times in life, and hope is important both in and out of the counselling room. To build hope from the start, ask your counsellor about their previous successes, in cases similar to yours. They won't disclose personal details, but the general picture they give you can help build confidence that this is a journey worth taking.
- Trust - We have to first feel trust, that the counsellor can handle our emotional baggage, before we have confidence to release it. Part of the reason we're often attending therapy at all, is that a part of us knows, that some meaning we have given an event, is not quite right, and is causing emotions and feelings to arise, too often. The impartiality of a third party therapist, can help us open up to heal previous hurts more fully than working with someone we know. Have confidence that your counsellor sees the bigger picture map of where you want to go, but is also adept enough to help you heal the small hurts along the way, too. However, if the counsellor always agreed with you, they would be a very well paid friend...correct? Their job is different. Feeling better means giving different meanings to old events - this means challenging you on the conclusions you've made, and the beliefs you hold. The short term discomfort of having our model of the world challenged must be offset against the potential emotional gains to be made, and the skill of the therapist in guiding you there. There are two ways to make this easier - (I) do not tackle bigger issues in counselling until you've built confidence with your therapist by tackling small issues first; or (ii) look for a therapist who, from the outset, has longer experience, or more experience with your personal issues.
- Insightful - An external counsellor can be detached from your day to day life - a counsellor is not your friend, and has no investment in pacifying you with total and unequivocal acceptance - (s)he has the impartiality and detachment needed to help you confront your biggest issues head-on, in a way that friends would let slip by, for the sake of not causing a fuss. Having the insight to see what meanings need to be changed, to feel better, is something best left to the professionals. A therapist who recognises this quickly, can help you generate desired changes, quickly.
Depression Counselling Jarrow
There are not many ailments which themselves, make it difficult for us to get professional help to remedy them - but depression is one of them.
Counselling can help with both short term and chronic depression, helping you identify and correct the day to day thinking patterns as well as understand the root cause.
Your doctor can advise on other depression treatment options beyond counselling, such as other mental health approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or changes to exercise and nutrition. All options should be considered.
Get more info about counselling for depression.
To check on costs and booking options for counselling in Jarrow, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
The root of anxiety is often based in our learned associations - a repeated experience of negative reinforcement with something specific, can become a more generalised problem later in life, without realising.
Getting help to recognise where the anxiety may be coming from, in the past, can help you break the old association, from current events, and recognise the two are different.
Sometimes anxiety only occurs in very specific situations. These can be associated with just one event in the past (if traumatic) enough, where we've learned to fear a certain set of circumstances or events.
A counsellor can help you unearth where such an association may lie, and to view it from a different perspective, to help ease current day to day life.
Anxiety can be tackled with a variety of approaches in the counselling room, including EMDR, working on the original trauma, or deconditioning the associated experience.
Overcoming fear usually means giving your therapist the background information and allowing them to help guide you toward the best solution.
Counselling help for anxiety is available. Call us direct on 0191 580 3700 to arrange.
Every relationship goes through ups and downs, as part of the human experience. The differing interests, beliefs, values, and even generational differences, can unwittingly create tension that is difficult to explain or comprehend fully, without assistance.
Relationships with your significant other can be particularly challenging as their upbringing will consistently conflict with your own, in most cases.
Tackling relationship issues in counselling is often the first time couples have seriously spoken to each other about what they truly want from life, and what they expect from each other.
It often takes an impartial counsellor to help both parties in the relationship see the world from the other's perspective.
A counsellor has the training and insight required to assist both parties to see the history and real reasons behind each individual's behaviour, and thus allow clearer communication to flow.
Whilst we would all like to be able to improve our relationships without help, a private counsellor has the training and skills necessary to help you make noticeable improvements in daily life.
To find out more about relationship counselling, see our main page here.
To enquire about costs or availability for relationship counselling, ring direct on 0191 580 3700.
Bereavement Counselling Jarrow
Loss in life is usually related to a loved one or friend passing away. But, loss can also occur in many other forms, too. A sense of deep grief or loss can result from being unable to continue a favourite hobby, losing a pet project you've been working on for a while, or enforced retirement.
Many find it difficult to even begin grieving, and feel stuck in a state of dissociation. Others become caught in a prolonged state of grieving, unable to continue functional life without feeling the deep emotions of loss acutely during everyday life.
Grief counselling is available to help you begin to process long or short term grief, in a supportive, structured, and safe space.
Get more info on our main grief counselling page, here.
Or, to speak with a counsellor to set sessions up - ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Anger can manifest emotional, or in some cases, physical outbursts of rage, fuelled by feelings of injustice, boundaries being breached, or a personal hurt.
If internal beliefs, or model of the world, is too restrictive, it can become all to easy to shatter internal ideas about how the world should be, thus resulting in an angry outburst.
Periodic angry episodes happen to us all, but more frequent or uncontrollable anger is more likely to require intervention and therapeutic help.
Therapy for anger is quite different - and focuses instead on detective work around past events in life, family life, relationship issues, etc, as a means to get to the root of the anger habit.
If you cannot attend therapy for practical reasons or don't have enough time, perhaps anger management would be enough. However the time invested in therapeutic work is usually well rewarded.
More info on anger counselling options is available here.
Counselling for anger is available. To book sessions, call direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Jarrow
One-off experiences can seem harmless at the time, but depending on how we process them, can results in mental ill-health later.
Any event in life that is outside the range of our norms in life - what we believe, what we value, etc, can result in trauma.
Breaking these norms of experience can result in trauma - and feelings of isolation, loss of appetite, lack of socialising, dissociation and lack of interest in life.
A traumatic event can be a big, one-off, sudden, shock.
Multiple smaller traumatic episodes can also result in accumulated emotional difficulties over time, and it can be more difficult to label these issues as in need of acute mental health care, when compared to more impactful, one-off traumas from widely recognised sources.
We work with those suffering from all forms of trauma, including acute one-off episodes, through to PTSD or other more chronic manifestations of emotional trauma.
Taking the step the get counselling can feel scary at first. But your counsellor has seen and heard emotional complaints of every size and type over their experience.
Get full info on trauma counselling.
To arrange counselling for trauma, or find out if we might work well together, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or request a callback, here.
Addiction Counselling Jarrow
While coping with the busy-ness of every day life, it's easy to develop a dependence on a substance or, behaviour, without noticing.
Sometimes, when going through exceptional stress, we adopt a certain way to cope, as a one-off means to feel better.
But, if we continue using this means to cope, it can become a habit, and the only way we know how to cope with the problem.
With too much substance or behaviour abuse comes rationalisation - the belief that the level of stress we're dealing with is now normal - when in fact it is not.
Behavioural addictions, or process addictions, like OCD, hoarding, eating, etc, are now just as common as classic substance addictions, like cigarettes or drugs.
Counselling can help you overcome addiction by first understanding the benefit you get, from the substance or behaviour itself. Addiction counselling can also provide short term coping mechanisms and signposting toward support channels until long term gains are made.
Visit our main addiction counselling page, here or, to ask about addiction counselling, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or request a callback, here.
Beginning The Counselling Journey
How It Works
The first session is usually used to get to know your counsellor, and they you, and set appropriate expectations for your counselling sessions, for example, frequency, how many, charges, etc.
Private counselling costs can vary wildly, so do check beforehand about specifics. It's common for initial sessions to be a reduced rate, or sometimes, free. Check if your first meeting carries standard charges or not.
Agreeing On Progress Goals
Have an open and frank discussion with your counsellor at the beginning, so that you see eye to eye on what will happen next. Setting clear expectations like this from the ouset leaves you free to focus on the real work of counselling.
Top Questions To Ask
Choosing the right questions to ask before you begin can help find the right counsellor for you.
How likely is it that I don't feel better after counselling?
- Frequent discussions with your therapist will help keep things on track. Good two-way discussions about the practical sides of counselling ensure there is no risk of ending sessions suddenly and being in a vulnerable place, emotionally.
When working with folks with (your issue), how many sessions of therapy does it typically take, to feel better?
- As you can imagine, there is no one size fits all solution in therapy - what's too long for you, may be too short for someone else, depending on their issues. The actual number of counselling sessions required will vary as a function of:
- What comes up during therapy, that needs to be dealt with, that wasn't anticipated beforehand.
- More past events than expected, may be contributing to the pattern of the problem you're experiencing in the here and now. These events take time to process, and feel better about, and can slow the progress of the main issue you went to counselling for. Nevertheless, they are usually necessary to overcome, for best results.
- All of us move at our own speed in therapy, with the time taken to evaluate events, find better alternatives, and have appropriate insights, varying from one person to another. The only "not normal" approach would be expecting everyone to feel better at the same rate.
Accordingly, event the best therapist, will be giving you only their best opinion, of this question.
Remember, part of the counsellor's job Is to help you open up painful memories or feelings and re-process them, A brief time frame for treatment may make a therapist more reluctant to explore very deep issues, since there may not be enough time to complete them satisfactorily, without leaving the client in a vulnerable place. Naturally, deeper work requires more time. Avoid confusion or disagreement around the progress of counselling sessions, by keeping clear communication channels open throughout. This will minimise risk of sessions ending abruptly, with issues undealt with.
What is your background in counselling?
- Some counsellors have historical experience or specialist qualifications in particular areas of therapy, such as trauma or PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. Being prudent with pre-purchase questions like these, will help you ascertain which therapist it's worth taking the counselling journey with.
Can I start right away?
- Counsellors often work across multiple clinics and locations on different days of the week - check if your diaries sync up at the right times.
Counsellors Available In Jarrow
Truth Counselling therapists work independently, and take care of their own diaries. We can usually offer counselling sessions at most locations throughout Tyne & Wear, including Jarrow, by arrangement.
How To Book Counselling Sessions
To get started with counselling, or just for an initial chat, we're available on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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