Choosing The Right Therapist Annitsford
Your relationship with your counsellor, is unlike any other.
The relationship between you and your counsellor, is a private one.
Even though the counsellor hears these aspects of people's lives every day, trust needs to be developed between you, before it's easy to feel comfortable. A good choice of counsellor can help you see a new perspective on life, and money well spent.
Finding The Right Counsellor
A great counselling relationship, with appropriate boundaries, will be based on:
- Safety - First and foremost, we need to feel safe to open up about our concerns, in order to receive the help to overcome them.
- Acceptance - Without the confidence that whatever we say, whatever interpretation we've given of a certain event, will be accepted, it can be hard to reveal much of our feelings, in order to get over them. With the right help, you'll feel like your therapist is able to handle whatever comes up, no matter how you express it.
- Collaboration - A strong therapeutic relationship is very much a team-oriented endeavour. New ways to look at old events, often come from the therapist to the client. Likewise, the client needs to be fully willing to answer questions and speak their truth, to enable results to be achieved. Your relationship with your therapist runs both ways, so that you achieve the change you're paying money for.
- Reciprocal Respect - Strong therapeutic relationships are built on a firm sense of respect and co-operation. e.g. Achieving results too quickly can actually be a bad thing!...if it causes too much discomfort. Be willing to change pace to match your counsellor, within reason. Also bear in mind, that no matter how emotionally painful something may feel in the short term, it's important to trust that the counsellor is leading you towards a comfortable resolution. Small wins can be the catalyst encouraging longer term gains, as the counselling relationship continues.
- Listening - One of the main counselling tasks is to be a good listener. Understanding non-verbal communication during a session is often just as important for a counsellor, as words spoken aloud. Other times, the therapist may need you to listen - as they guide you towards seeing something from a different perspective. This can be challenging as we have invested a lot of time and energy in our pre-existing beliefs. We all have our stock responses for certain questions, that have become our usual responses, over the years. However, concentrating on the questions asked, and providing answers that are unfiltered, and represent your true thoughts and feelings, will help you achieve results noticeably better, than simply responding with what you think you should respond with.
- Empathy - Everyone, with no exceptions, needs validation in the human experience. A great counsellor can help you feel like your concerns are warranted and valid, and also help you realise even better meanings that could be drawn from the same events, that help you feel better.
- Hope - We know we need to be more upbeat, eager, and cheerful about events. But that's usually in short supply, when counselling sessions begin. We usually need therapy help, because we've tried to overcome the issues ourselves, but without success. The counselling journey is not normally fast - it is a process. We need to trust that a positive outcome will happen, and a counsellor needs to be adept at illustrating how good things can be in the future, and help you see how that's possible, even though it won't happen overnight. Hope can carry us through even the darkest of times in life, and hope is important both in and out of the counselling room. Try to find a counsellor who helps you feel hopeful about the process, and the journey, from the outset.
- Trust - We have to first feel trust, that the counsellor can handle our emotional baggage, before we have confidence to release it. Counselling usually involves revealing extremely personal feelings that we feel vulnerable about. Working with a counsellor as a neutral observer, can help us access deeper hurts that are ready to heal, as compared to attempting to work with someone we know, or even, on our own. Trust is required that (I) the counsellor can guide the entire counselling journey with you and (ii) they have the skills and competence required to help you resolve each individual hurt, too. However, the therapist will not always be accommodating, like a friend. Part of their role is to help you question the meanings you have assigned to certain events - in order to help you feel better about them. Instinctively, having our beliefs and opinions challenged can feel uncomfortable - and we must be willing to trust that the counsellor has positive intentions, in leading us to a better meaning, and thus, better feelings, about it. There are two ways to make this easier - (I) do not tackle bigger issues in counselling until you've built confidence with your therapist by tackling small issues first; or (ii) look for a therapist who, from the outset, has longer experience, or more experience with your personal issues.
- Insightful - An external counsellor can be detached from your day to day life - a counsellor is not your friend, and has no investment in pacifying you with total and unequivocal acceptance - (s)he has the impartiality and detachment needed to help you confront your biggest issues head-on, in a way that friends would let slip by, for the sake of not causing a fuss. A trained counsellor can tell the difference between challenging you on an opinion or conclusion that may not be worthwhile, as opposed to helping you look differently at an event that can have a positive impact on your overall mental health. Your long term mental health can make great gains, where these fine distinctions are clearly recognised.
Depression Counselling Annitsford
Depression is debilitating in that it is one of the few issues in life where the issue itself can prevent us from getting help for the issue - depression can stop us getting the help we need.
Counselling can help with both short term and chronic depression, helping you identify and correct the day to day thinking patterns as well as understand the root cause.
Depression can also respond well to other modalities and approaches, and your Doctor or medical professional may advise on exercise, dietary, and other changes that may help.
Our main page for depression has more information.
To check on costs and booking options for counselling in Annitsford, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Anxiety Counselling In Annitsford
Although not always the case, the main driver of anxiety, can be conditioning, rather than beliefs. This means, an association we've developed attached to a certain set of circumstances or events, that we've developed unconsciously.
Getting help to recognise where the anxiety may be coming from, in the past, can help you break the old association, from current events, and recognise the two are different.
Sometimes anxiety only occurs in very specific situations. These can be associated with just one event in the past (if traumatic) enough, where we've learned to fear a certain set of circumstances or events.
Working on the associations of the past in this way, can often ease the anxiety experienced in present day life.
Progress can be made on anxiety when we realise the fear is attributable not to the original stimulus itself - but what we thought it meant. Once we learn to make the distinction between the two, fear is usually lessened.
Your counsellor is best placed to guide you through the best options for you, that will provides the greatest relief over time.
Get the full info on counselling for anxiety here.
Relationship Counselling Annitsford
Every relationship goes through ups and downs, as part of the human experience. The differing interests, beliefs, values, and even generational differences, can unwittingly create tension that is difficult to explain or comprehend fully, without assistance.
Relationships with your significant other can be particularly challenging as their upbringing will consistently conflict with your own, in most cases.
Both people in a relationship can benefit, either from acute help for an urgent relationship difficulty, or ongoing work on relationship communication and interaction.
It often takes an impartial counsellor to help both parties in the relationship see the world from the other's perspective.
In relationships, we are often seeking out a partner (unconsciously) to satisfy unmet needs of the past, or to resolve an issue we've had from a previous relationship. We don't realise this on a conscious level, of course.
Even just a few insights from a private relationship therapist can give tremendous progress in how you experience your relationship.
We discuss relationship counselling and marriage counselling options in more detail here.
Or, to arrange relationship counselling now, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or ask for a callback, on the form opposite. We'll ring you back at a convenient time.
We usually think of a friend or loved one dying, when we think of bereavement and grief. But, loss can also occur in many other forms, too. Substantial emotional symptoms can result from (e.g.) loss of function due to retirement, loss of purpose when children move out, or loss of contact with children, when separating due to divorce.
It's easy for some to feel confused, or detached, from grieving initially, until the reality of the loss begins to surface in their life. It's also possible to become stuck in a never-starting, or never-ending cycle of grief, which carries its own complications.
Whether for long or short term grief issues, grief counselling can provide essential support that is often unavailable from other sources.
More information about grief and bereavement counselling is here.
To get started with grief counselling, call us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
Anger Counselling Annitsford
Anger is often the result of one of our most basic beliefs or values being contradicted.
Excessive anger often results from an excess of internal "rules" or beliefs, making it easy for them to be broken, and it therefore becomes easy to trigger a state of anger.
Irregular bouts of anger can crop up during particularly stressful times or life events, and can be managed temporarily by attempting to alleviate stress in general.
Rather than manage symptoms alone, counselling for anger issues is more likely to help by analysing how previous events in life have led to a pattern of angry behaviour, over time.
Both are appropriate for different individuals, at different times, depending on needs and circumstances.
More info on anger counselling options is available here.
Counselling for anger is available. To arrange, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
One-off experiences can seem harmless at the time, but depending on how we process them, can results in mental ill-health later.
A traumatic experience can be anything which sufficiently breaks one's "model of the world" - the beliefs, values, and perceptions we have about how the world works, differences between right and wrong, etc.
Trauma often manifests as a sense of isolation or detachment from life, as if we are looking in at life, but not experiencing it personally.
We often have a fixed idea about what trauma is, with a vision of a helpless person suffering a huge incident.
There is however also a lesser known version of trauma, the small t trauma - often a series of repeating minor episodes, nevertheless still resulting in longer term unresolved emotional distress.
A trauma counsellor can help with both types of trauma. Some have additional qualifications to assist with specialist interventions such as EMDR, or NLP techniques that have been effective with trauma sufferers in the past.
We understand that seeking a counsellor for this type of work can be unnerving, and it can be especially important to find a counsellor who meets your needs and is sympathetic.
Our main page on trauma counselling has more info.
To ask about pricing and availability for trauma counselling, ring us direct at a convenient time, on 0191 580 3700.
It's easy to become addicted to something in the course of day-to-day life, without noticing it happening consciously.
It's easy to establish a dependence on some means to cope, in the face of unusually high stressors, or an event we weren't expecting.
But, continuing to abuse this mechanism we've found, over time, can lead to an unhealthy dependence.
With too much substance or behaviour abuse comes rationalisation - the belief that the level of stress we're dealing with is now normal - when in fact it is not.
We normally associate addiction with substances like alcohol or drugs, but process or behavioural addictions are now very common, like shoplifting, sex, or food addiction.
Counselling can help gain understanding on the underlying causal issues behind a pattern of behaviour in life. Addiction counselling can also provide short term coping mechanisms and signposting toward support channels until long term gains are made.
Questions re addiction counselling? Get answers direct on 0191 580 3700.
Arranging Counselling For The First Time
How It Works
It's important agree the parameters of your work together, from the outset.
Charges & Payment
Pricing varies, especially for private counselling. Most therapists offer a complimentary phone chat, to see if you two might work well. Sometimes the first session is allocated a standard rate.
What do you expect from counselling? Are you looking for the shortest possible fix? Or a longer exploration of underlying issues? Set the right expectations, before you begin. Dealing with these issues up front makes it easier to get on with the job at hand, later.
Get Answers For These Important Questions
Getting answers to well chosen queries up front will help you make the right decision about what counsellor to choose.
What action do we take if I don't get any benefit from counselling?
- Have regular conversations with your therapist to make sure you stay on track toward your goals. As well as keeping things moving, this helps the therapist look after you best.
When working with folks with (your issue), how many sessions of therapy does it typically take, to feel better?
- Understand that this is a question with no one fixed, correct, answer. You're looking here for more of how the counsellor reacts, rather than the content of the answer. In reality, duration will depend on multiple factors:
- What comes up during therapy, that needs to be dealt with, that wasn't anticipated beforehand.
- A behavioural pattern you seek to dissolve or resolve, has many more contributing events from the past, than originally expected, and all need to be resolved to dissolve the behavioural pattern
- Each individual processes emotions and changes of meaning, at a different rate, that is unique to them. The only "not normal" approach would be expecting everyone to feel better at the same rate.
It is for all the above reasons, that no therapist, can provide a concrete answer to this question - only what their intuition tells them.
In terms of timescales, you both need to allow enough time to open up, access, and feel better about painful long term memories. If the counsellor is under the impression that your sessions are a regular, long-term event, they may help you open up more painful memories or events, with the intention of greater healing possibilities. As you might expect, the more events are opened up, the more they have to be closed down, when treatment completes. Where possible, try to avoid stopping counselling sessions unexpectedly, as doing so can raise the risk of attempting to deal with open or raw emotions without appropriate support.
Do you have any specialities?
- Perhaps your therapist has worked extensively with a focus on one type of complaint. It's always good to understand the background of your potential therapist, and how that matches your experience, before beginning counselling.
What is your availability?
- Counsellors often work across multiple clinics and locations on different days of the week - check if your diaries sync up at the right times.
Therapy In Annitsford
Our counsellors are self-employed and independent. Central Newcastle is home to most of our therapists, however we can usually arrange sessions in surrounding Tyne & Wear locations, like Annitsford. Please ask if unsure.
Arranging Counselling Annitsford
To check on availability, costs of counselling in Annitsford, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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