Finding The Right Talk Therapist Hetton-le-Hole
Counselling is a personal experience.
The relationship between you and your counsellor, is a private one.
Although the counsellor may be impartial and ambivalent, opening up during a counselling session can feel vulnerable. The wrong counsellor can mean wasted money and lack of results, as well as reduced motivation.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
A great counselling relationship, with appropriate boundaries, will be based on:
- Safety - First and foremost, we need to feel safe to open up about our concerns, in order to receive the help to overcome them.
- Permission - The therapy room should be a safe space where you have permission to express your feelings in a safe and protected environment. With the right help, you'll feel like your therapist is able to handle whatever comes up, no matter how you express it.
- Partnership - Working together with your counsellor should feel like a partnership. Clients need the counsellor to lead the session, set a safe space, and assist with new perspectives needed. Likewise, the client needs to be fully willing to answer questions and speak their truth, to enable results to be achieved. A mutually supportive, collaborative environment can help you get the change you want quickly, with the minimum of discomfort.
- Equality - Mutual understanding and appreciation is required throughout your counselling session and should underline all your work in the therapy room. e.g. If your therapist works too slow - the lack of results can mean motivation reduces. But if they work too fast, it can feel awkward, or distressing. Be assured that the counsellor is guiding you towards a resolution on even the most emotional of issues. Once you have developed a few positive experiences with a counsellor, of revealing a small issue, and successfully working through it, trust can grow, mutual respect can widen, and motivation can increase, making further progress easier.
- Listening - One of the main counselling tasks is to be a good listener. Understanding non-verbal communication during a session is often just as important for a counsellor, as words spoken aloud. Other times, the therapist may need you to listen - as they guide you towards seeing something from a different perspective. This can be challenging as we have invested a lot of time and energy in our pre-existing beliefs. It's easy to develop a habitual way of responding to certain questions, as we have done so, so many times, over years. Interesting results can be achieved by listening intently to the therapist's question, as though it's the first time you'd heard it.
- Sympathetic - Before beginning to change any one thought pattern, or conclusion we've arrived at, as human beings we need to know that the meaning we arrived at, for certain events, is ok, and acceptable. Does your counsellor bring the human elements to therapy? Empathy, validation, and understanding are the only starting point that allow better interpretations of old events, to flourish.
- Hopeful - Most of us begin the counselling journey at a place where we do desperately need hope. Most commonly we've tried everything we can, on our own, to feel better, but were unable. Results from counselling take time - we are dealing often with long term or deep seated issues, that need solid detective work, before beginning the process of change. Take comfort and faith from the smallest of breakthroughs made during a session - and allow it to build your hope of even better breakthroughs, in future sessions. Hope can carry us through even the darkest of times in life, and hope is important both in and out of the counselling room. But rather than holding out all hope for fantastic gains of huge magnitude, take faith and joy in the small steps during your counselling journey too, because they point you to other realisations you wouldn't otherwise have made.
- Trust - The inner child, in all of us, seeks to protect us above all else. If the environment is not supportive of vulnerable issues surfacing, they will not be allowed to do so. No matter how reasonable our feelings may be to an outsider, we almost always feel some element of shame, guilt, or similar, about the fact that we have these feelings at all. More personal hurts can be healed by working with a qualified counsellor, than by attempting to heal ourselves. Have confidence that your counsellor sees the bigger picture map of where you want to go, but is also adept enough to help you heal the small hurts along the way, too. Expect a counsellor to challenge you - that's their job. If you're to get progress from therapy, you'll need new perspective on the meanings you've given to previous issues. The therapist will challenge your opinions, to help you arrive at better perspectives. This can feel uncomfortable at the time, but trust is required, that the gains will be worth it. There are two ways to make this easier - (I) do not tackle bigger issues in counselling until you've built confidence with your therapist by tackling small issues first; or (ii) look for a therapist who, from the outset, has longer experience, or more experience with your personal issues.
- Insights - The professional status of a counsellor, and their detachment from your personal circumstances, means they gain nothing from telling you what you want to hear. Part of what you're paying a therapist for, is their ability to highlight big issues, and help you work through them. Judgements are required, often very quickly mid-session, in respect of which values or opinions need to be challenged to improve overall mental health, as opposed to those which can do not contribute so much to the bigger picture, or are secondary to other more important goals. A therapist who recognises this quickly, can help you generate desired changes, quickly.
Depression Counselling Hetton-le-Hole
Ironically, depression itself can stop us getting help for depression - making it one of the most debilitating mental health challenges we face.
Counselling can help identify and deal with the underlying issues and thinking patterns - your counsellor should help you recognise contributing issues and maintaining factors.
Other mental health options beyond counselling such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy have also proven effective for depression and are widely used in the NHS.
See more about counselling for depression, here.
Or, to enquire about counselling for depression in Hetton-le-Hole, contact us direct using the link below.
The root of anxiety is often based in our learned associations - a repeated experience of negative reinforcement with something specific, can become a more generalised problem later in life, without realising.
Techniques used by counsellors may help reduce the serverity of the anxiety reaction you're used to, as well as help you understand how the pattern of anxiety has developed.
Counselling can also help with more specific fears, phobias, or episodes of panic, attached to just one episode in the past.
Getting the help of a therapist can assist you in recognising where a previous association to fear may lie, and how to see it differently. This may help with anxiety experienced current day.
Progress can be made on anxiety when we realise the fear is attributable not to the original stimulus itself - but what we thought it meant. Once we learn to make the distinction between the two, fear is usually lessened.
Overcoming fear usually means giving your therapist the background information and allowing them to help guide you toward the best solution.
Find out more about counselling for anxiety, here.
Every relationship goes through ups and downs, as part of the human experience. The differing interests, beliefs, values, and even generational differences, can unwittingly create tension that is difficult to explain or comprehend fully, without assistance.
Relationships with your significant other can be particularly challenging as their upbringing will consistently conflict with your own, in most cases.
Counselling can help couples put aside differences and start learning and listening to each other, in earnest.
Relationship counselling can assist you both to see where the communication difficulties lie, and how to navigate them.
A counsellor has the training and insight required to assist both parties to see the history and real reasons behind each individual's behaviour, and thus allow clearer communication to flow.
Finding your way around these issues can be tricky without experienced help.
Counselling for your relationship or marriage is available.
To get started with relationship counselling, ring Truth Counselling Newcastle direct on 0191 580 3700.
Bereavement Counselling Hetton-le-Hole
We usually associate bereavement with the passing of a loved one, or a pet. The extent of our grieving can differ though, from one individual to another. A sense of deep grief or loss can result from being unable to continue a favourite hobby, losing a pet project you've been working on for a while, or enforced retirement.
Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. Others are stuck in a longer term pattern of grief which can be harmful in it's own way.
Grief counselling can help you make key distinctions between a grieving process that is appropriate and healthy, as opposed to one that has become a problem.
Find out more about bereavement counselling.
To get started with grief counselling, call us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
Anger Counselling Hetton-le-Hole
Anger can manifest emotional, or in some cases, physical outbursts of rage, fuelled by feelings of injustice, boundaries being breached, or a personal hurt.
Excessive anger often results from an excess of internal "rules" or beliefs, making it easy for them to be broken, and it therefore becomes easy to trigger a state of anger.
Anger management classes are popular, and usually suggest a range of practical steps to take, to minimise anger, and manage it when it does come up.
Therapy for anger is quite different - and focuses instead on detective work around past events in life, family life, relationship issues, etc, as a means to get to the root of the anger habit.
Both are appropriate for different individuals, at different times, depending on needs and circumstances.
Get the full info on counselling options for anger, here.
Counselling for anger is available. To ask a question or check on availability, you can reach us on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Hetton-le-Hole
One-off experiences can seem harmless at the time, but depending on how we process them, can results in mental ill-health later.
A traumatic experience can be anything which sufficiently breaks one's "model of the world" - the beliefs, values, and perceptions we have about how the world works, differences between right and wrong, etc.
Symptoms like desire to be alone, depression, helplessness or hopelessness, and social isolation can all be signs of unresolved trauma that may need professional help to resolve.
A traumatic event can be a big, one-off, sudden, shock.
However trauma can also be much smaller, repeated episodes of emotional distress which, while no individual episode could be considered hugely traumatic, cumulatively add up over time, to aggregated emotional distress and difficulty.
We work with those suffering from all forms of trauma, including acute one-off episodes, through to PTSD or other more chronic manifestations of emotional trauma.
We understand that seeking a counsellor for this type of work can be unnerving, and it can be especially important to find a counsellor who meets your needs and is sympathetic.
To read more about trauma counselling, visit our main trauma page.
Questions about trauma counselling? Ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Addiction Counselling Hetton-le-Hole
Addiction can happen to us in a subtle way, in the background of our life, without us realising.
e.g. We can develop a pattern of over-eating, in response to a period of high stress. It's natural for us to reach for some way to reduce the emotional discomfort we feel, in situations like this.
It's surprisingly easy to continue using this one coping mechanism in this way, and thus end up using it as the *only* coping mechanism, whenever stress arises.
This can be a dangerous time - as too much overuse of one coping mechanism can convince us that the level of stress we're under - is ok.
Counselling can assist also in cases of non-substance related addiction, such as obsessive cleaning, or collecting things.
Counselling can help gain understanding on the underlying causal issues behind a pattern of behaviour in life. It can also assist you in developing practical means to cope with the addiction in the short term, while longer term work on the underlying causes continues.
Questions re addiction counselling? Get answers direct on 0191 580 3700.
Arranging Counselling For The First Time
How It Works
Initially it's a good idea to agree upon the practical elements early on, like how often you'll meet, where, costs involved, and how long you both expect sessions to continue.
Pricing varies, especially for private counselling. Most therapists offer a complimentary phone chat, to see if you two might work well. The initial session could be considered a regular session for cost purposes too. Check in advance.
Have an open and frank discussion with your counsellor at the beginning, so that you see eye to eye on what will happen next. It's important to do this from the outset so that you understand each others' expectations, and the following sessions can focus on the counselling itself and not the practical elements.
Questions For Your Prospective Counsellor Hetton-le-Hole
Choosing the right questions to ask before you begin can help find the right counsellor for you.
What action do we take if I don't get any benefit from counselling?
- Make sure you stay connected with your therapist, and share the same expectations about the practical elements, throughout. Doing this regularly means everyone understands each other and there are no risks of suddenly ending a diet of counselling sessions unexpectedly, and without support.
How long will this take?
- As you can imagine, there is no one size fits all solution in therapy - what's too long for you, may be too short for someone else, depending on their issues. The actual number of counselling sessions required will vary as a function of:
- Elements from the past, that surface during treatment, that require treatment before the primary complaint can be attended to.
- More past events than expected, may be contributing to the pattern of the problem you're experiencing in the here and now. These events take time to process, and feel better about, and can slow the progress of the main issue you went to counselling for. Nevertheless, they are usually necessary to overcome, for best results.
- Each individual processes emotions and changes of meaning, at a different rate, that is unique to them. The only "not normal" approach would be expecting everyone to feel better at the same rate.
It is for all the above reasons, that no therapist, can provide a concrete answer to this question - only what their intuition tells them.
In terms of timescales, you both need to allow enough time to open up, access, and feel better about painful long term memories. If the counsellor is under the impression that your sessions are a regular, long-term event, they may help you open up more painful memories or events, with the intention of greater healing possibilities. As you might expect, the more events are opened up, the more they have to be closed down, when treatment completes. Avoid confusion or disagreement around the progress of counselling sessions, by keeping clear communication channels open throughout. This will minimise risk of sessions ending abruptly, with issues undealt with.
Do you have any specialities?
- Perhaps your therapist has worked extensively with a focus on one type of complaint. Making sure you and your therapist are a match, upfront, makes sense, and could prevent a costly mistake.
How quickly can I begin?
- Naturally each counsellor's diary is different, and while you might have found a good person-to-person match, don't forget to check availability.
Counselling Sessions Hetton-le-Hole
Our counsellors are self-employed and independent. Central Newcastle is home to most of our therapists, however we can usually arrange sessions in surrounding Tyne & Wear locations, like Hetton-le-Hole. Please ask if unsure.
Getting Started With Counselling In Hetton-le-Hole
To get started with counselling, or just for an initial chat, we're available on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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