Choosing The Right Counsellor Winlaton
Your relationship with your counsellor, is unlike any other.
Your counsellor is privy to aspects of your life, that no-one else is, not even family.
Professionals are used to dealing with life's personal details, but you may not be so used to opening up in this way. A strong counselling relationship can significantly change your outlook and perspective on key areas of life - it's important to get it right.
Finding The Right Counsellor
Finding the right counsellor means developing a therapeutic association which is based on:
- Safety - First and foremost, we need to feel safe to open up about our concerns, in order to receive the help to overcome them.
- Unconditional Acceptance - If we don't first believe, that what we feel is ok, or acceptable, then it can be difficult moving on from there, toward feeling better. The right counsellor will help pace the feelings and experiences you're describing, while allowing you to express all the associated feelings, untethered.
- Teamwork - Find someone who you can work together with easily, for best outcomes. Clients need the counsellor to lead the session, set a safe space, and assist with new perspectives needed. However, if you are not 100% open and honest with the therapist, results achieved may be lacking. Your relationship with your therapist runs both ways, so that you achieve the change you're paying money for.
- Consideration - Let understanding and appreciation flow equally between you and your counsellor, to help achieve a stronger counselling relationship. e.g. The counsellor needs to work at your pace - the pace you feel comfortable revealing difficulties at, as to force too much change too soon, may be uncomfortable. Also bear in mind, that no matter how emotionally painful something may feel in the short term, it's important to trust that the counsellor is leading you towards a comfortable resolution. When you've been able to overcome a few small issues after starting out with your counsellor, confidence can grow.
- Active Listener - Thorough counsellors are accomplished at active listening. A counsellor's silence can often be mistaken by the client as boredom or lack of interest. However, an experienced therapist is often ascertaining more from silence, or how the client fills in that silence - than the spoken word. Ensure you are willing to listen to the counsellor when they do talk - as they could be attempting to help you give a more forgiving meaning, to a troublesome event, and thus ease your pain. It's easy to develop a habitual way of responding to certain questions, as we have done so, so many times, over years. But being truly ready to listen to a counsellor's question, afresh, as if it's the first time you've heard it, can yield insights that were not possible in the past.
- Validation - The meanings we give to events, are as varied as human beings themselves. It's important that we feel our meanings are reasonable, given the circumstances. A great counsellor can help you feel like your concerns are warranted and valid, and also help you realise even better meanings that could be drawn from the same events, that help you feel better.
- Hope - We know we need to be more upbeat, eager, and cheerful about events. But that's usually in short supply, when counselling sessions begin. We usually need therapy help, because we've tried to overcome the issues ourselves, but without success. Therapy work takes time, and is not a quick fix, nor a one size fits all solution. Sometimes getting wins from counselling is a combination of small wins initially, plus a lot of faith of greater future gains. Hope is a trait we all need, whether we're undertaking counselling or not. But rather than holding out all hope for fantastic gains of huge magnitude, take faith and joy in the small steps during your counselling journey too, because they point you to other realisations you wouldn't otherwise have made.
- Trust - This is very close to safety, as above. Our unconscious mind will generally not reveal anything sensitive unless it feels entirely safe and supported in doing so. Part of the reason we're often attending therapy at all, is that a part of us knows, that some meaning we have given an event, is not quite right, and is causing emotions and feelings to arise, too often. We can often feel more able to fully open up to a third party professional, someone who is not attached to our family or circumstances. Have confidence that your counsellor sees the bigger picture map of where you want to go, but is also adept enough to help you heal the small hurts along the way, too. However, the therapist will not always be accommodating, like a friend. If you're to get progress from therapy, you'll need new perspective on the meanings you've given to previous issues. The therapist will challenge your opinions, to help you arrive at better perspectives. Our instinct, when we feel attacked in this way, is to retaliate - but be assured that these challenges are well intentioned, and are there for the purpose of helping you heal. There are two ways to make this easier - (I) do not tackle bigger issues in counselling until you've built confidence with your therapist by tackling small issues first; or (ii) look for a therapist who, from the outset, has longer experience, or more experience with your personal issues.
- Perception - The counsellor has the acumen, vision, and understanding to help you identify and remedy, areas where a better perspective on the event(s), may help. There is a difference between challenging productively, and challenging needlessly. A good counsellor knows when one particular belief is causing problems in other areas, and needs to be challenged, and when another belief is secondary, and can be left alone. A therapist who recognises this quickly, can help you generate desired changes, quickly.
Ironically, depression itself can stop us getting help for depression - making it one of the most debilitating mental health challenges we face.
Counselling can help with both short term and chronic depression, helping you identify and correct the day to day thinking patterns as well as understand the root cause.
Depression can also respond well to other modalities and approaches, and your Doctor or medical professional may advise on exercise, dietary, and other changes that may help.
Our main page for depression has more information.
Or, to enquire about counselling for depression in Winlaton, contact us direct using the link below.
Anxiety Counselling In Winlaton
The root of anxiety is often based in our learned associations - a repeated experience of negative reinforcement with something specific, can become a more generalised problem later in life, without realising.
Getting help to recognise where the anxiety may be coming from, in the past, can help you break the old association, from current events, and recognise the two are different.
More specific anxiety such as acute episodes of panic or panic attacks, also have their roots often in the past, perhaps with a one-off specific experience, or association to an event, that we don't consciously realise.
A counsellor can help you unearth where such an association may lie, and to view it from a different perspective, to help ease current day to day life.
Progress can be made on anxiety when we realise the fear is attributable not to the original stimulus itself - but what we thought it meant. Once we learn to make the distinction between the two, fear is usually lessened.
Your counsellor is best placed to guide you through the best options for you, that will provides the greatest relief over time.
Get the full info on counselling for anxiety here.
Relationships can be the most difficult aspect of life to navigate, as they bring opposing viewpoints and models of the world, into close contrast, frequently. Differing backgrounds, values, and even age, can all bring conflicting interests into the open, creating situations that are extremely difficult to navigate, without professional assistance.
Romantic relationships will always involve disagreements, over everything from the mundane routine of daily life, to one-off incidents, like infidelity.
Refreshing your ability to relate to each other, in a healthy way, where understanding is clear and meaning is retained, can make real differences for both individuals.
When you live everyday with your partner, it often takes another third party to step in and help you see the wood for the trees, inside the relationship.
Many times we don't understand our partner as we don't understand their past. The therapist can assist in helping each individual discover the whys behind the day to day behaviours they see, and how to navigate them.
Paying for counselling means getting focussed and attentive help targeting the most personal and life-changing issues humans go through.
We discuss relationship counselling and marriage counselling options in more detail here.
If you want to get started with counselling for your relationship, get in touch by calling 0191 580 3700, or drop us an email at info ((at)) truthcounsellingnewcastle.co.uk.
Bereavement Counselling Winlaton
We usually think of a friend or loved one dying, when we think of bereavement and grief. However, loss can be more subtle, yet just as profound, when it manifests differently. A sense of deep grief or loss can result from being unable to continue a favourite hobby, losing a pet project you've been working on for a while, or enforced retirement.
Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. Others become caught in a prolonged state of grieving, unable to continue functional life without feeling the deep emotions of loss acutely during everyday life.
Grief counselling is available to help you begin to process long or short term grief, in a supportive, structured, and safe space.
More information about grief and bereavement counselling is here.
To get started with grief counselling, call us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
Anger Counselling Winlaton
Anger can be both emotionally and physically destructive, resulting in emotional volatility but also physical expressions, when the emotions are too overwhelming.
Too many internal emotional restrictions, often self-imposed, limit our viewpont as to what is acceptable in life, and exacerbate anger.
Periodic angry episodes happen to us all, but more frequent or uncontrollable anger is more likely to require intervention and therapeutic help.
Managing anger practically like this, can help for the short term, but for long term resolution, therapeutic intervention is usually needed to understand the past, and how it has led to current day feelings of anger, as a habit.
Both are appropriate for different individuals, at different times, depending on needs and circumstances.
Find out more about anger counselling here.
Counselling for anger is available. To book sessions, call direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Winlaton
Often we are unaware of the impact an emotional trauma has, until much later.
A traumatic experience can be anything which sufficiently breaks one's "model of the world" - the beliefs, values, and perceptions we have about how the world works, differences between right and wrong, etc.
Trauma often manifests as a sense of isolation or detachment from life, as if we are looking in at life, but not experiencing it personally.
We often have a fixed idea about what trauma is, with a vision of a helpless person suffering a huge incident.
Multiple smaller traumatic episodes can also result in accumulated emotional difficulties over time, and it can be more difficult to label these issues as in need of acute mental health care, when compared to more impactful, one-off traumas from widely recognised sources.
Trauma counselling can help with both short term, one-off, obvious traumatic experiences, as well as longer term issues accrued over time.
Taking the step the get counselling can feel scary at first. But your counsellor has seen and heard emotional complaints of every size and type over their experience.
To read more about trauma counselling, visit our main trauma page.
Questions about trauma counselling? Ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Addiction Counselling Winlaton
It's easy to become addicted to something in the course of day-to-day life, without noticing it happening consciously.
It's easy to establish a dependence on some means to cope, in the face of unusually high stressors, or an event we weren't expecting.
Repeatedly turning to this one way to feel better, can result in addiction.
Infact, repeated use of this coping mechanism, can result in a belief that the initial problem itself is acceptable, and encourages us not to address this initial problem, at the root.
We normally associate addiction with substances like alcohol or drugs, but process or behavioural addictions are now very common, like shoplifting, sex, or food addiction.
Counselling can help gain understanding on the underlying causal issues behind a pattern of behaviour in life. It can also assist you in developing practical means to cope with the addiction in the short term, while longer term work on the underlying causes continues.
If you're thinking of addiction counselling, get your questions answered on 0191 580 3700.
Getting Started With Counselling
How It Works
The first session is usually used to get to know your counsellor, and they you, and set appropriate expectations for your counselling sessions, for example, frequency, how many, charges, etc.
Pricing varies, especially for private counselling. Most therapists offer a complimentary phone chat, to see if you two might work well. Sometimes the first session is allocated a standard rate.
Have an open and frank discussion with your counsellor at the beginning, so that you see eye to eye on what will happen next. Setting clear expectations like this from the ouset leaves you free to focus on the real work of counselling.
Top Questions To Ask
Getting answers to well chosen queries up front will help you make the right decision about what counsellor to choose.
What action do we take if I don't get any benefit from counselling?
- It's important, throughout the sessions you have, to check in with your therapist about the progress you're making, and your expectations of results and timeline going forward. Good two-way discussions about the practical sides of counselling ensure there is no risk of ending sessions suddenly and being in a vulnerable place, emotionally.
How long will this take?
- Bear in mind here that this is a very difficult question to answer, with no one solution, as it has so many (very personal) variables and dependencies built in - that are dependent on, for example:
- Interrupting elements of mental health that present during treatment, and impede progress on the main issue we're attempting to tackle during therapy.
- Many more events than anticipated, are contributing toward a current day pattern, and all need resolution before the pattern dissolves or the client feels better.
- Differing rates at which different individuals are able to make sense of, and re-process, events. We all heal at different rates - this is normal.
Accordingly, event the best therapist, will be giving you only their best opinion, of this question.
Remember, part of the counsellor's job Is to help you open up painful memories or feelings and re-process them, If the counsellor is under the impression that your sessions are a regular, long-term event, they may help you open up more painful memories or events, with the intention of greater healing possibilities. Looking at these more difficult events can take a longer time period. Where possible, try to avoid stopping counselling sessions unexpectedly, as doing so can raise the risk of attempting to deal with open or raw emotions without appropriate support.
Do you have any specialities?
- Perhaps your therapist has worked extensively with a focus on one type of complaint. It's always good to understand the background of your potential therapist, and how that matches your experience, before beginning counselling.
When will sessions start?
- Counsellors often work across multiple clinics and locations on different days of the week - check if your diaries sync up at the right times.
Therapy Help Winlaton
Truth Counselling therapists work independently, and take care of their own diaries. Central Newcastle is home to most of our therapists, however we can usually arrange sessions in surrounding Tyne & Wear locations, like Winlaton. Please ask if unsure.
How To Enquire About Counselling
Get an idea of costs, and availability, by ringing us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
Get Answers Fast:
Get Immediate Answers: