Choosing The Right Talk Therapist Whitburn
Counselling can be an intimidating experience, for those experiencing it for the first time.
Your counsellor is privy to aspects of your life, that no-one else is, not even family.
Professionals are used to dealing with life's personal details, but you may not be so used to opening up in this way. Making sure you've picked the right counsellor can mean the difference between a few short sessions with an unsuccessful outcome; and lasting positive change in your life.
Finding The Right Counsellor
Finding the right counsellor means developing a therapeutic association which is based on:
- Safety - First and foremost, we need to feel safe to open up about our concerns, in order to receive the help to overcome them.
- Permission - The therapy room should be a safe space where you have permission to express your feelings in a safe and protected environment. You'll know you may have found the best therapist when they allow you to fully express what's going on, without feeling restricted.
- Teamwork - Find someone who you can work together with easily, for best outcomes. As clients, we look to the professional in the room, to help gain new insights, and help us change our mind about the events of our lives. Likewise, the client needs to be fully willing to answer questions and speak their truth, to enable results to be achieved. If you do not fully reveal the info asked of you, it may take longer to achieve the change you want.
- Reciprocal Respect - Strong therapeutic relationships are built on a firm sense of respect and co-operation. e.g. The counsellor needs to work at your pace - the pace you feel comfortable revealing difficulties at, as to force too much change too soon, may be uncomfortable. Also bear in mind, that no matter how emotionally painful something may feel in the short term, it's important to trust that the counsellor is leading you towards a comfortable resolution. Take motivation from the small wins during initial sessions, as these can fuel you for later working through deeper issues.
- Active Listener - Thorough counsellors are accomplished at active listening. Understanding non-verbal communication during a session is often just as important for a counsellor, as words spoken aloud. Sometimes it's difficult to focus during sessions when feelings are raw and vulnerable. Even at these times, listen to how your counsellor is guiding you toward a better understanding of events, and meanings that are easier to cope with. Rather than giving your rote-learned responses to your therapists questions, try to do your own active listening, instead. However, concentrating on the questions asked, and providing answers that are unfiltered, and represent your true thoughts and feelings, will help you achieve results noticeably better, than simply responding with what you think you should respond with.
- Empathy - Everyone, with no exceptions, needs validation in the human experience. An empathetic therapist hears and understands your issues, but also has the insight to guide you toward an even more helpful perspective.
- Hopeful - Most of us begin the counselling journey at a place where we do desperately need hope. Most commonly we've tried everything we can, on our own, to feel better, but were unable. The counselling journey is not normally fast - it is a process. Sometimes getting wins from counselling is a combination of small wins initially, plus a lot of faith of greater future gains. Hope can carry us through even the darkest of times in life, and hope is important both in and out of the counselling room. What experience does your counsellor have with your issue specifically? How have they helped others, like you, in the past? Use these questions to decide if this counsellor's experience matches your expectations.
- Trust - We have to first feel trust, that the counsellor can handle our emotional baggage, before we have confidence to release it. No matter how reasonable our feelings may be to an outsider, we almost always feel some element of shame, guilt, or similar, about the fact that we have these feelings at all. We can often feel more able to fully open up to a third party professional, someone who is not attached to our family or circumstances. Trust is required that (I) the counsellor can guide the entire counselling journey with you and (ii) they have the skills and competence required to help you resolve each individual hurt, too. Expect a counsellor to challenge you - that's their job. If you're to get progress from therapy, you'll need new perspective on the meanings you've given to previous issues. The therapist will challenge your opinions, to help you arrive at better perspectives. This can feel uncomfortable at the time, but trust is required, that the gains will be worth it. A professional with more specialism in your particular area of concern may help here.
- Insightful - An external counsellor can be detached from your day to day life - a counsellor is not your friend, and has no investment in pacifying you with total and unequivocal acceptance - (s)he has the impartiality and detachment needed to help you confront your biggest issues head-on, in a way that friends would let slip by, for the sake of not causing a fuss. There is a difference between challenging productively, and challenging needlessly. A good counsellor knows when one particular belief is causing problems in other areas, and needs to be challenged, and when another belief is secondary, and can be left alone. The difference is priceless, in the emotional peace a client experiences, over time.
Depression Counselling In Whitburn
Depression is an issue that presents us with a unique challenge - how does someone with depression, who feels unworthy of help, who may believe they cannot get better - seek help for depression? It can become a vicious circle all too easily.
Depression can be the result of both unuseful thinking patterns and an ongoing state of helplessness or hopelessness. Counselling can help with both.
Other mental health options beyond counselling such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy have also proven effective for depression and are widely used in the NHS.
Get more info about counselling for depression.
Or, to enquire about counselling for depression in Whitburn, contact us direct using the link below.
Anxiety Counselling Whitburn
Although not always the case, the main driver of anxiety, can be conditioning, rather than beliefs. This means, an association we've developed attached to a certain set of circumstances or events, that we've developed unconsciously.
Getting help to recognise where the anxiety may be coming from, in the past, can help you break the old association, from current events, and recognise the two are different.
Sometimes anxiety only occurs in very specific situations. These can be associated with just one event in the past (if traumatic) enough, where we've learned to fear a certain set of circumstances or events.
Deconditioning work can be undertaken with a therapist's help, to help untangle the meanings attached to an original event, and thus feel better about it - and less anxious.
The therapist can utilise a variety of techniques to tackle anxiety, including deconditioning, work on associated past events, or desensitisation, depending on specifics.
Overcoming fear usually means giving your therapist the background information and allowing them to help guide you toward the best solution.
Counselling help for anxiety is available. Call us direct on 0191 580 3700 to arrange.
From time to time we all have difficulties in relationships, whether this is a romantic relationship or not. Differing backgrounds, values, and even age, can all bring conflicting interests into the open, creating situations that are extremely difficult to navigate, without professional assistance.
For romantic relationships, issues such as infidelity, differences over children, parenting, money, habits, and simply the busy nature of daily life can decay an otherwise strong and healthy relationship.
Refreshing your ability to relate to each other, in a healthy way, where understanding is clear and meaning is retained, can make real differences for both individuals.
It often takes an impartial counsellor to help both parties in the relationship see the world from the other's perspective.
Sometimes a therapist can assist this understanding by helping you see how current patterns, relate to the past, and the previous episodes in life that each partner brings to the relationship.
Paying for counselling means getting focussed and attentive help targeting the most personal and life-changing issues humans go through.
To find out more about relationship counselling, see our main page here.
To enquire about costs or availability for relationship counselling, ring direct on 0191 580 3700.
Bereavement Counselling Whitburn
The passing of a family member, friend, or pet usually explains an episode of sudden grief or loss. But, loss can also occur in many other forms, too. Substantial emotional symptoms can result from (e.g.) loss of function due to retirement, loss of purpose when children move out, or loss of contact with children, when separating due to divorce.
Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. Others are stuck in a longer term pattern of grief which can be harmful in it's own way.
Grief counselling is available to help you begin to process long or short term grief, in a supportive, structured, and safe space.
More information about grief and bereavement counselling is here.
Or, to speak with a counsellor to set sessions up - ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Anger results from a sense of values being broken, or boundaries being impeded upon.
Excessive anger often results from an excess of internal "rules" or beliefs, making it easy for them to be broken, and it therefore becomes easy to trigger a state of anger.
Anger management classes are popular, and usually suggest a range of practical steps to take, to minimise anger, and manage it when it does come up.
Managing anger practically like this, can help for the short term, but for long term resolution, therapeutic intervention is usually needed to understand the past, and how it has led to current day feelings of anger, as a habit.
While practical tools and in-the-moment techniques are enough for many, it may benefit those looking for a longer term solution to focus on counselling instead of anger management.
See our main page on anger counselling.
Private anger therapy is now available to book. To check on costs and ask questions, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Whitburn
A one-off, acute traumatic experience can last only seconds, but the emotional impact can last for years or decades, unless help is sought.
Any event in life that is outside the range of our norms in life - what we believe, what we value, etc, can result in trauma.
Breaking these norms of experience can result in trauma - and feelings of isolation, loss of appetite, lack of socialising, dissociation and lack of interest in life.
We often have a fixed idea about what trauma is, with a vision of a helpless person suffering a huge incident.
However trauma can also be much smaller, repeated episodes of emotional distress which, while no individual episode could be considered hugely traumatic, cumulatively add up over time, to aggregated emotional distress and difficulty.
Trauma counselling can help with both short term, one-off, obvious traumatic experiences, as well as longer term issues accrued over time.
While attending counselling for the first time can be intimidating, your counsellor has done this many times before. Generally, there is nothing you can say that would surprise them or they have not heard before. The counselling room is the one place it's safe to open up and feel heard.
Get full info on trauma counselling.
To get your trauma counselling questions answered, ring us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
It's easy to become addicted to something in the course of day-to-day life, without noticing it happening consciously.
e.g. We can develop a pattern of over-eating, in response to a period of high stress. It's natural for us to reach for some way to reduce the emotional discomfort we feel, in situations like this.
But, if we continue using this means to cope, it can become a habit, and the only way we know how to cope with the problem.
Infact, repeated use of this coping mechanism, can result in a belief that the initial problem itself is acceptable, and encourages us not to address this initial problem, at the root.
Behavioural addictions, or process addictions, like OCD, hoarding, eating, etc, are now just as common as classic substance addictions, like cigarettes or drugs.
Counselling can help you overcome addiction by first understanding the benefit you get, from the substance or behaviour itself. It can also assist you in developing practical means to cope with the addiction in the short term, while longer term work on the underlying causes continues.
If you're thinking of addiction counselling, get your questions answered on 0191 580 3700.
Beginning The Counselling Journey
How It Works
It's important agree the parameters of your work together, from the outset.
Some counsellors offer the first session free, to see if you are a good fit together. Sometimes the first session is allocated a standard rate.
What do you expect from counselling? Are you looking for the shortest possible fix? Or a longer exploration of underlying issues? Set the right expectations, before you begin. Dealing with these issues up front makes it easier to get on with the job at hand, later.
Questions For Your Prospective Counsellor Whitburn
Choosing the right questions to ask before you begin can help find the right counsellor for you.
What if I don't get results?
- Make sure you stay connected with your therapist, and share the same expectations about the practical elements, throughout. Good two-way discussions about the practical sides of counselling ensure there is no risk of ending sessions suddenly and being in a vulnerable place, emotionally.
How long should therapy for (your issue) last?
- Bear in mind here that this is a very difficult question to answer, with no one solution, as it has so many (very personal) variables and dependencies built in - that are dependent on, for example:
- What comes up during therapy, that needs to be dealt with, that wasn't anticipated beforehand.
- More past events than expected, may be contributing to the pattern of the problem you're experiencing in the here and now. These events take time to process, and feel better about, and can slow the progress of the main issue you went to counselling for. Nevertheless, they are usually necessary to overcome, for best results.
- All of us move at our own speed in therapy, with the time taken to evaluate events, find better alternatives, and have appropriate insights, varying from one person to another. We all heal at different rates - this is normal.
For all these reasons, don't expect a concrete answer to this question - even a very experienced therapist will be giving you their best estimate, before therapy begins - there is no more accurate information available.
In terms of timescales, you both need to allow enough time to open up, access, and feel better about painful long term memories. A longer time frame commitment from you, gives the therapist greater confidence in opening up longer term issues for work, they otherwise wouldn't do, with only a shorter time frame available. Events with greater emotional intensity must be managed carefully. A good therapist will make sure there are no emotional loose ends left, at the end of treatment. It's important to communicate clearly throughout counselling sessions, to make sure misunderstandings don't occur.
What is your background in counselling?
- Certain types of therapy carry with them, specific types of training or qualifications. Being prudent with pre-purchase questions like these, will help you ascertain which therapist it's worth taking the counselling journey with.
What is your availability?
- Therapists are usually busy people, with little spare time between sessions. Getting logistics sorted out now, will help later.
Counsellors Available In Whitburn
Our therapists work independently. Although most of our counsellors are located in the Newcastle area, different counsellors offer therapy at different locations throughout Tyne & Wear, by arrangement.
Arranging Counselling Whitburn
To check on availability, costs of counselling in Whitburn, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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