COUNSELLING BOLDON COLLIERY
Choosing The Right Talk Therapist Boldon Colliery
It's easy to feel vulnerable or raw when starting out on counselling sessions.
The relationship between you and your counsellor, is a private one.
Professionals are used to dealing with life's personal details, but you may not be so used to opening up in this way. Making sure you've picked the right counsellor can mean the difference between a few short sessions with an unsuccessful outcome; and lasting positive change in your life.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
The following elements should be present, between you and your counsellor, for best results:
- Secure - A counselling room should be somewhere secure - a refuge from the outside world and its concerns, if we are to feel comfortable revealing very personal aspects of ourselves.
- Acceptance - Without the confidence that whatever we say, whatever interpretation we've given of a certain event, will be accepted, it can be hard to reveal much of our feelings, in order to get over them. You'll know you may have found the best therapist when they allow you to fully express what's going on, without feeling restricted.
- Teamwork - Find someone who you can work together with easily, for best outcomes. As a client you depend on the therapist to lend insight and perspective on the issue you face. But the professional also has a need - for the client to be brutally honest and forthright. If not, the changes achieved may be short term. If you do not fully reveal the info asked of you, it may take longer to achieve the change you want.
- Reciprocal Respect - Strong therapeutic relationships are built on a firm sense of respect and co-operation. e.g. If your therapist works too slow - the lack of results can mean motivation reduces. But if they work too fast, it can feel awkward, or distressing. Understand that, even through the difficult sessions, the counsellor has a clear path ahead for you, and knows what they are doing. Small wins can be the catalyst encouraging longer term gains, as the counselling relationship continues.
- Interested & Attentful - Professional therapists learn extensively on the art and benefits of listening closely during counselling sessions. Understanding non-verbal communication during a session is often just as important for a counsellor, as words spoken aloud. Sometimes it's difficult to focus during sessions when feelings are raw and vulnerable. Even at these times, listen to how your counsellor is guiding you toward a better understanding of events, and meanings that are easier to cope with. We all have our stock responses for certain questions, that have become our usual responses, over the years. The counsellor will expect you to do a little active listening of your own, and to be intuitively truthful, in your responses. Your first response, from instinct, is often the right one, in these cases.
- Sympathetic - Before beginning to change any one thought pattern, or conclusion we've arrived at, as human beings we need to know that the meaning we arrived at, for certain events, is ok, and acceptable. Does your counsellor bring the human elements to therapy? Empathy, validation, and understanding are the only starting point that allow better interpretations of old events, to flourish.
- Hope - We know we need to be more upbeat, eager, and cheerful about events. But that's usually in short supply, when counselling sessions begin. Many of us try to change everything on the outside first, before finally realising the problem is actually inside, not outside. How fast you see results from counselling varies from one individual to another - but it's not a sudden series of overnight wins - more like a gradual campaign of change. Sometimes getting wins from counselling is a combination of small wins initially, plus a lot of faith of greater future gains. Hope can carry us through even the darkest of times in life, and hope is important both in and out of the counselling room. Try to find a counsellor who helps you feel hopeful about the process, and the journey, from the outset.
- Trust - This is very close to safety, as above. Our unconscious mind will generally not reveal anything sensitive unless it feels entirely safe and supported in doing so. Part of the reason we're often attending therapy at all, is that a part of us knows, that some meaning we have given an event, is not quite right, and is causing emotions and feelings to arise, too often. The impartiality of a third party therapist, can help us open up to heal previous hurts more fully than working with someone we know. An experienced therapist is equally skilled at navigating both the bigger picture of where the therapy is going, but also the smaller picture of where you're at now. The counsellor is not there to be your friend, however. Expect your beliefs, values, and opinions, to be shaken up, and looked at closely - this is where much of the healing potential lies. Instinctively, having our beliefs and opinions challenged can feel uncomfortable - and we must be willing to trust that the counsellor has positive intentions, in leading us to a better meaning, and thus, better feelings, about it. Looking for a counsellor with more long term experience can help.
- Perspective - A key reason people attend therapy is they feel - stuck - with a particular circumstance or set of feelings. A counsellor can help you identify practical actions that may help - but more importantly - highlight new perspectives that help you feel better, too. There is a difference between challenging productively, and challenging needlessly. A good counsellor knows when one particular belief is causing problems in other areas, and needs to be challenged, and when another belief is secondary, and can be left alone. A therapist who recognises this quickly, can help you generate desired changes, quickly.
Ironically, depression itself can stop us getting help for depression - making it one of the most debilitating mental health challenges we face.
Whether you're suffering from short term sadness about a specific event, or longer term depressive symptoms, counselling can help overcome the thinking patterns of depression, as well as provide practical tools to recognise coping mechanisms attached, that may not be in an individual's best interests.
Other mental health options beyond counselling such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy have also proven effective for depression and are widely used in the NHS.
Get more info about counselling for depression.
To get the counselling options in Boldon Colliery, contact us direct, by calling 0191 580 3700, or completing the form opposite.
Anxiety Counselling In Boldon Colliery
Long term generalised anxiety often comes from a learned association - a conditioning experience we've had repeatedly over time, but never really realised the conclusions we were making about it, unconsciously.
In counselling you should be able to identify the roots of where the anxiety has started, and get help to overcome the day to day impact anxiety has in your life.
More specific anxiety such as acute episodes of panic or panic attacks, also have their roots often in the past, perhaps with a one-off specific experience, or association to an event, that we don't consciously realise.
Working on the associations of the past in this way, can often ease the anxiety experienced in present day life.
Anxiety can be tackled with a variety of approaches in the counselling room, including EMDR, working on the original trauma, or deconditioning the associated experience.
Overcoming fear usually means giving your therapist the background information and allowing them to help guide you toward the best solution.
More info about counselling for anxiety is available on our main page here.
Relationship Counselling Boldon Colliery
From time to time we all have difficulties in relationships, whether this is a romantic relationship or not. Contrasting viewpoints can arise as a result of upbringing, religion, schooling, or even simple generational differences. All of these can cause seemingly insurmountable issues, without help.
Relationships with your significant other can be particularly challenging as their upbringing will consistently conflict with your own, in most cases.
Tackling relationship issues in counselling is often the first time couples have seriously spoken to each other about what they truly want from life, and what they expect from each other.
It often takes an impartial counsellor to help both parties in the relationship see the world from the other's perspective.
Sometimes a therapist can assist this understanding by helping you see how current patterns, relate to the past, and the previous episodes in life that each partner brings to the relationship.
Finding your way around these issues can be tricky without experienced help.
Get more info on our main page for relationship and marriage counselling, here.
To enquire about costs or availability for relationship counselling, ring direct on 0191 580 3700.
Bereavement Counselling Boldon Colliery
We usually think of a friend or loved one dying, when we think of bereavement and grief. However, loss can be more subtle, yet just as profound, when it manifests differently. A sense of deep grief or loss can result from being unable to continue a favourite hobby, losing a pet project you've been working on for a while, or enforced retirement.
Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. Others are stuck in a longer term pattern of grief which can be harmful in it's own way.
Whether for long or short term grief issues, grief counselling can provide essential support that is often unavailable from other sources.
Get more info on our main grief counselling page, here.
For bereavement counselling costs and availability, call us on 0191 580 3700.
Anger can be both emotionally and physically destructive, resulting in emotional volatility but also physical expressions, when the emotions are too overwhelming.
If internal beliefs, or model of the world, is too restrictive, it can become all to easy to shatter internal ideas about how the world should be, thus resulting in an angry outburst.
Anger management teaches practical tools and techniques to manage anger or rage episodes in day-to-day life.
Therapy for anger is quite different - and focuses instead on detective work around past events in life, family life, relationship issues, etc, as a means to get to the root of the anger habit.
It may be that for one individual, both counselling and anger management are suitable for different stages of the individual's journey. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
Find out more about anger counselling here.
If you're struggling with anger, counselling may help. To arrange, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Boldon Colliery
A one-off, acute traumatic experience can last only seconds, but the emotional impact can last for years or decades, unless help is sought.
Any event in life that is outside the range of our norms in life - what we believe, what we value, etc, can result in trauma.
Symptoms like desire to be alone, depression, helplessness or hopelessness, and social isolation can all be signs of unresolved trauma that may need professional help to resolve.
A traumatic event can be a big, one-off, sudden, shock.
Multiple smaller traumatic episodes can also result in accumulated emotional difficulties over time, and it can be more difficult to label these issues as in need of acute mental health care, when compared to more impactful, one-off traumas from widely recognised sources.
Trauma counselling can help with both short term, one-off, obvious traumatic experiences, as well as longer term issues accrued over time.
While attending counselling for the first time can be intimidating, your counsellor has done this many times before. Generally, there is nothing you can say that would surprise them or they have not heard before. The counselling room is the one place it's safe to open up and feel heard.
To read more about trauma counselling, visit our main trauma page.
To ask about pricing and availability for trauma counselling, ring us direct at a convenient time, on 0191 580 3700.
Addiction Counselling Boldon Colliery
Addiction can happen to us in a subtle way, in the background of our life, without us realising.
e.g. We can develop a pattern of over-eating, in response to a period of high stress. It's natural for us to reach for some way to reduce the emotional discomfort we feel, in situations like this.
But, if we continue using this means to cope, it can become a habit, and the only way we know how to cope with the problem.
With too much substance or behaviour abuse comes rationalisation - the belief that the level of stress we're dealing with is now normal - when in fact it is not.
While most present with an addiction to a substance like alcohol or drugs, an increasing number are developing behavioural addictions which could benefit from counselling, such as collecting or hoarding behaviour, viewing pornography obsessively, or compulsive shopping.
Counselling can help gain understanding on the underlying causal issues behind a pattern of behaviour in life. Addiction counselling can also provide short term coping mechanisms and signposting toward support channels until long term gains are made.
For advice on addiction counselling options, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Arranging Counselling For The First Time
Meeting Your Counsellor
It's important agree the parameters of your work together, from the outset.
Costs of the first session can be anything from free, to £100 or more in busy areas. Check the specifics with your counsellor. It's worth enquiring in advance as to the exact costs of the initial session, as many therapists treat it differently, depending on their individual circumstances.
Normally when beginning counselling, you and your therapist will agree on the goals and outcome you want to achieve, and set a timeline for treatment, and how many sessions you'll complete together. Dealing with these issues up front makes it easier to get on with the job at hand, later.
Top Questions To Ask
Answers to the following questions can help you track down the most appropriate therapist for your needs.
How likely is it that I don't feel better after counselling?
- Frequent discussions with your therapist will help keep things on track. Doing this regularly means everyone understands each other and there are no risks of suddenly ending a diet of counselling sessions unexpectedly, and without support.
When working with folks with (your issue), how many sessions of therapy does it typically take, to feel better?
- Bear in mind here that this is a very difficult question to answer, with no one solution, as it has so many (very personal) variables and dependencies built in - that are dependent on, for example:
- What comes up during therapy, that needs to be dealt with, that wasn't anticipated beforehand.
- Inability to predict how many aspects of a given event will require resolution, in what order, and how many times, before feeling emotionally better.
- Differing rates at which different individuals are able to make sense of, and re-process, events. We all heal at different rates - this is normal.
Accordingly, event the best therapist, will be giving you only their best opinion, of this question.
The therapist's job is to guide the exploration of painful feelings and move you towards a point of resolution on them. A short time period in which to work together, can mean there is only enough time to open up milder issues. Whereas, a diet of long term therapy gives greater scope to make progress on deeper issues. Naturally, deeper work requires more time. Avoid confusion or disagreement around the progress of counselling sessions, by keeping clear communication channels open throughout. This will minimise risk of sessions ending abruptly, with issues undealt with.
Do you have research interests, or a specialism in one particular type of counselling?
- Some counsellors have historical experience or specialist qualifications in particular areas of therapy, such as trauma or PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. It's always good to understand the background of your potential therapist, and how that matches your experience, before beginning counselling.
When will sessions start?
- Therapists are usually busy people, with little spare time between sessions. Getting logistics sorted out now, will help later.
Counselling Sessions Boldon Colliery
Our therapists work independently. Although most of our counsellors are located in the Newcastle area, different counsellors offer therapy at different locations throughout Tyne & Wear, by arrangement.
Getting Started With Counselling In Boldon Colliery
To check on availability, costs of counselling in Boldon Colliery, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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