Choosing The Right Therapist Blaydon
Counselling is a personal experience.
Your counsellor will understand you, in a unique way, that few (if any) others, do.
Even though the counsellor hears these aspects of people's lives every day, trust needs to be developed between you, before it's easy to feel comfortable. The wrong counsellor can mean wasted money and lack of results, as well as reduced motivation.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
The following elements should be present, between you and your counsellor, for best results:
- Secure - Feeling safe is a pre-requisite, before we can open up and reveal personal aspects of our worries, to anyone.
- Approval - A competent therapist should help you feel unconditionally accepted, no matter your feelings you have about a particular event. With the right help, you'll feel like your therapist is able to handle whatever comes up, no matter how you express it.
- Collaboration - A strong therapeutic relationship is very much a team-oriented endeavour. New ways to look at old events, often come from the therapist to the client. Equally, the counsellor depends on you to be as honest and open as possible, or they have nothing to work with, and little progress can be made. A mutually supportive, collaborative environment can help you get the change you want quickly, with the minimum of discomfort.
- Reciprocal Respect - Strong therapeutic relationships are built on a firm sense of respect and co-operation. e.g. The counsellor needs to work at your pace - the pace you feel comfortable revealing difficulties at, as to force too much change too soon, may be uncomfortable. Likewise, as the client, a healthy respect should be maintained for the counsellor to guide you towards an appropriate resolution for each issue, no matter how painful that may be, in the short term. Small wins can be the catalyst encouraging longer term gains, as the counselling relationship continues.
- Interested & Attentful - Professional therapists learn extensively on the art and benefits of listening closely during counselling sessions. A wise counsellor is aware, that much more can often be gained by staying silent, and listening closely, not only to what is said, but *how* it is said, in order to better understand a client's position, and be better placed to facilitate greater context (and more comfortable change. Sometimes it's difficult to focus during sessions when feelings are raw and vulnerable. Even at these times, listen to how your counsellor is guiding you toward a better understanding of events, and meanings that are easier to cope with. It's easy to develop a habitual way of responding to certain questions, as we have done so, so many times, over years. Interesting results can be achieved by listening intently to the therapist's question, as though it's the first time you'd heard it.
- Compassion - We all have an intuitive need to connect with others, and have our experiences and interpretations acknowledged as being real, and acceptable. Does your counsellor bring the human elements to therapy? Empathy, validation, and understanding are the only starting point that allow better interpretations of old events, to flourish.
- Hope - We know we need to be more upbeat, eager, and cheerful about events. But that's usually in short supply, when counselling sessions begin. We usually need therapy help, because we've tried to overcome the issues ourselves, but without success. Therapy work takes time, and is not a quick fix, nor a one size fits all solution. We need to trust that a positive outcome will happen, and a counsellor needs to be adept at illustrating how good things can be in the future, and help you see how that's possible, even though it won't happen overnight. Optimism about the future, and about what's possible, are important in life, regardless of whether you've felt the need for counselling help or not. Try to find a counsellor who helps you feel hopeful about the process, and the journey, from the outset.
- Trust - The inner child, in all of us, seeks to protect us above all else. If the environment is not supportive of vulnerable issues surfacing, they will not be allowed to do so. No matter how reasonable our feelings may be to an outsider, we almost always feel some element of shame, guilt, or similar, about the fact that we have these feelings at all. Working with a counsellor as a neutral observer, can help us access deeper hurts that are ready to heal, as compared to attempting to work with someone we know, or even, on our own. An experienced therapist is equally skilled at navigating both the bigger picture of where the therapy is going, but also the smaller picture of where you're at now. The counsellor is not there to be your friend, however. Feeling better means giving different meanings to old events - this means challenging you on the conclusions you've made, and the beliefs you hold. Instinctively, having our beliefs and opinions challenged can feel uncomfortable - and we must be willing to trust that the counsellor has positive intentions, in leading us to a better meaning, and thus, better feelings, about it. There are two ways to make this easier - (I) do not tackle bigger issues in counselling until you've built confidence with your therapist by tackling small issues first; or (ii) look for a therapist who, from the outset, has longer experience, or more experience with your personal issues.
- Insightful - An external counsellor can be detached from your day to day life - a counsellor is not your friend, and has no investment in pacifying you with total and unequivocal acceptance - (s)he has the impartiality and detachment needed to help you confront your biggest issues head-on, in a way that friends would let slip by, for the sake of not causing a fuss. Having the insight to see what meanings need to be changed, to feel better, is something best left to the professionals. Your long term mental health can make great gains, where these fine distinctions are clearly recognised.
Ironically, depression itself can stop us getting help for depression - making it one of the most debilitating mental health challenges we face.
Whether you're suffering from short term sadness about a specific event, or longer term depressive symptoms, counselling can help overcome the thinking patterns of depression, as well as provide practical tools to recognise coping mechanisms attached, that may not be in an individual's best interests.
Your doctor can advise on other depression treatment options beyond counselling, such as other mental health approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or changes to exercise and nutrition. All options should be considered.
Our main page for depression has more information.
Or, to enquire about counselling for depression in Blaydon, contact us direct using the link below.
The root of anxiety is often based in our learned associations - a repeated experience of negative reinforcement with something specific, can become a more generalised problem later in life, without realising.
A counsellor can help you identify how the past contributes to a current day pattern of anxiety in your life, and how to work on it, so that it produces less of an overt reaction in day-to-day life.
More specific anxiety such as acute episodes of panic or panic attacks, also have their roots often in the past, perhaps with a one-off specific experience, or association to an event, that we don't consciously realise.
Getting the help of a therapist can assist you in recognising where a previous association to fear may lie, and how to see it differently. This may help with anxiety experienced current day.
Multiple techniques are available when working with anxiety, such as desensitisation, exposure therapy, or purely work on past events in the therapy room.
Your counsellor is best placed to guide you through the best options for you, that will provides the greatest relief over time.
Counselling help for anxiety is available. Call us direct on 0191 580 3700 to arrange.
Relationship Counselling Blaydon
Relationships can be the most difficult aspect of life to navigate, as they bring opposing viewpoints and models of the world, into close contrast, frequently. Contrasting viewpoints can arise as a result of upbringing, religion, schooling, or even simple generational differences. All of these can cause seemingly insurmountable issues, without help.
Romantic relationships will always involve disagreements, over everything from the mundane routine of daily life, to one-off incidents, like infidelity.
Both people in a relationship can benefit, either from acute help for an urgent relationship difficulty, or ongoing work on relationship communication and interaction.
Understanding and anticipating what your partner wants and expects from the relationship, needs daily work, and most couples are not clear on this.
Many times we don't understand our partner as we don't understand their past. The therapist can assist in helping each individual discover the whys behind the day to day behaviours they see, and how to navigate them.
Even just a few insights from a private relationship therapist can give tremendous progress in how you experience your relationship.
Get more info on our main page for relationship and marriage counselling, here.
Or, to arrange relationship counselling now, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or ask for a callback, on the form opposite. We'll ring you back at a convenient time.
We usually associate bereavement with the passing of a loved one, or a pet. But we all experience loss differently, and to differing degrees, depending on what the loss relates to. Losing a job due to unemployment, a partner due to divorce, or contact with a family member can result in loss, and the associated emotional issues to overcome.
Simply starting the grieving process can be a challenge itself, as many worry they don't know how to grieve, or feel they should be grieving more, or less, than they are. Others are stuck in a longer term pattern of grief which can be harmful in it's own way.
Whether you've been suffering over a long term period with chronic grief issues, or lost something or someone only recently, bereavement counselling can help you identify the difference between appropriate grieving and unhealthy levels of grief, as well as practical coping mechanism and supports to use.
Get more info on our main grief counselling page, here.
To arrange sessions of grief counselling, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700 and we'll get things moving.
Anger is often the result of one of our most basic beliefs or values being contradicted.
Too many internal emotional restrictions, often self-imposed, limit our viewpont as to what is acceptable in life, and exacerbate anger.
Irregular bouts of anger can crop up during particularly stressful times or life events, and can be managed temporarily by attempting to alleviate stress in general.
Managing anger practically like this, can help for the short term, but for long term resolution, therapeutic intervention is usually needed to understand the past, and how it has led to current day feelings of anger, as a habit.
While practical tools and in-the-moment techniques are enough for many, it may benefit those looking for a longer term solution to focus on counselling instead of anger management.
Find out more about anger counselling here.
If you're struggling with anger, counselling may help. To arrange, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Blaydon
Often we are unaware of the impact an emotional trauma has, until much later.
Any event in life that is outside the range of our norms in life - what we believe, what we value, etc, can result in trauma.
Where trauma is unresolved, an individual will often experience lack of interest in life, detachment, nightmares, and lack of social interaction.
We usually think of trauma as being an isolated incident, with it's victims typically portrayed as soldiers in combat, families in a war zone, or victims of domestic violence at home.
There is however also a lesser known version of trauma, the small t trauma - often a series of repeating minor episodes, nevertheless still resulting in longer term unresolved emotional distress.
We work with those suffering from all forms of trauma, including acute one-off episodes, through to PTSD or other more chronic manifestations of emotional trauma.
By its very nature, trauma work needs an attentive and sympathetic counsellor.
We have more info on trauma counselling options on our main page here.
Questions about trauma counselling? Ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Addiction Counselling Blaydon
While coping with the busy-ness of every day life, it's easy to develop a dependence on a substance or, behaviour, without noticing.
If we go through a period of very high stress, it's natural for us to look for ways to ease the pain.
Repeatedly turning to this one way to feel better, can result in addiction.
Infact, repeated use of this coping mechanism, can result in a belief that the initial problem itself is acceptable, and encourages us not to address this initial problem, at the root.
Counselling can assist also in cases of non-substance related addiction, such as obsessive cleaning, or collecting things.
Counselling can help you overcome addiction by first understanding the benefit you get, from the substance or behaviour itself. Addiction therapy normally includes work on both longer term patterns of addiction as well as trigger situations in the present moment of day to day life.
If you're thinking of addiction counselling, get your questions answered on 0191 580 3700.
Arranging Counselling For The First Time
Meeting Your Counsellor
How often do you expect counselling sessions? What progress do you expect to make? Define fast and slow progress? These expectations can cary widely, so make sure you and your therapist agree on the details, from the outset.
Pricing varies, especially for private counselling. Most therapists offer a complimentary phone chat, to see if you two might work well. It's worth enquiring in advance as to the exact costs of the initial session, as many therapists treat it differently, depending on their individual circumstances.
Even before therapy begins, you should make it clear what you want to achieve from counselling, how many sessions you expect, and what exactly constitutes a good result, for you personally. If this is done at the start of the counselling relationship, it leaves the rest of the sessions to deal only with the actual counselling work, and not the practicalities.
What To Ask A Counsellor Blaydon
Asking specific questions before beginning work with a counsellor can help avoid wasted time and money.
What if I don't get results?
- Frequent discussions with your therapist will help keep things on track. As well as keeping things moving, this helps the therapist look after you best.
How long will this take?
- This is a how long is a piece of string question, with no real answer, except the following dependencies:
- Other, emotionally related, problems, that get in the way of treating the main issue, and therefore must be treated first.
- Many more events than anticipated, are contributing toward a current day pattern, and all need resolution before the pattern dissolves or the client feels better.
- Differing rates at which different individuals are able to make sense of, and re-process, events. The only "not normal" approach would be expecting everyone to feel better at the same rate.
It is for all the above reasons, that no therapist, can provide a concrete answer to this question - only what their intuition tells them.
Remember, part of the counsellor's job Is to help you open up painful memories or feelings and re-process them, If the counsellor is under the impression that your sessions are a regular, long-term event, they may help you open up more painful memories or events, with the intention of greater healing possibilities. Naturally, deeper work requires more time. Where possible, try to avoid stopping counselling sessions unexpectedly, as doing so can raise the risk of attempting to deal with open or raw emotions without appropriate support.
Do you have any specialities?
- Perhaps your therapist has worked extensively with a focus on one type of complaint. Getting answers like these will help you develop a sense of whether you and your counsellor will work well together, before you begin.
How quickly can I begin?
- Naturally each counsellor's diary is different, and while you might have found a good person-to-person match, don't forget to check availability.
Counselling Sessions Blaydon
Our therapists work independently. Although most of our counsellors are located in the Newcastle area, different counsellors offer therapy at different locations throughout Tyne & Wear, by arrangement.
Arranging Counselling Blaydon
Get an idea of costs, and availability, by ringing us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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