Choosing The Best Therapist Shiremoor
Counselling can be an intimidating experience, for those experiencing it for the first time.
Your counsellor will understand you, in a unique way, that few (if any) others, do.
It's easy to feel exposed or intimidated, when starting out, until a rapport is established with your counsellor. A good choice of counsellor can help you see a new perspective on life, and money well spent.
Finding The Right Counsellor
A great counselling relationship, with appropriate boundaries, will be based on:
- Secure - Feeling safe is a pre-requisite, before we can open up and reveal personal aspects of our worries, to anyone.
- Acceptance - Without the confidence that whatever we say, whatever interpretation we've given of a certain event, will be accepted, it can be hard to reveal much of our feelings, in order to get over them. An experienced talk therapist can "hold the therapeutic space" no matter what trauma or issue arises, and help you navigate it, without feeling judgement or blame.
- Collaboration - A strong therapeutic relationship is very much a team-oriented endeavour. New ways to look at old events, often come from the therapist to the client. Likewise, the client needs to be fully willing to answer questions and speak their truth, to enable results to be achieved. Your relationship with your therapist runs both ways, so that you achieve the change you're paying money for.
- Mutual respect - You & your counsellor require a sense of two-way understanding between you, and a respect for each other, in every element of the counselling relationship. e.g. Achieving results too quickly can actually be a bad thing!...if it causes too much discomfort. Be willing to change pace to match your counsellor, within reason. Be assured that the counsellor is guiding you towards a resolution on even the most emotional of issues. Small wins can be the catalyst encouraging longer term gains, as the counselling relationship continues.
- Paying Attention - Is your counsellor alert and absorbing your feedback and input during sessions? A counsellor's silence can often be mistaken by the client as boredom or lack of interest. However, an experienced therapist is often ascertaining more from silence, or how the client fills in that silence - than the spoken word. Likewise, as the client, you need to willing to listen to the context or perspective the therapist is attempting to help you see, even if emotions are high, and focus is difficult. We all have our stock responses for certain questions, that have become our usual responses, over the years. Interesting results can be achieved by listening intently to the therapist's question, as though it's the first time you'd heard it.
- Compassion - We all have an intuitive need to connect with others, and have our experiences and interpretations acknowledged as being real, and acceptable. An empathetic therapist hears and understands your issues, but also has the insight to guide you toward an even more helpful perspective.
- Enthusiasm - Unfortunately, a lack of energy and optimism are often what's brought us to counselling in the first place. Most commonly we've tried everything we can, on our own, to feel better, but were unable. Results from counselling take time - we are dealing often with long term or deep seated issues, that need solid detective work, before beginning the process of change. Take comfort and faith from the smallest of breakthroughs made during a session - and allow it to build your hope of even better breakthroughs, in future sessions. Hope is a trait we all need, whether we're undertaking counselling or not. But rather than holding out all hope for fantastic gains of huge magnitude, take faith and joy in the small steps during your counselling journey too, because they point you to other realisations you wouldn't otherwise have made.
- Trust - The inner child, in all of us, seeks to protect us above all else. If the environment is not supportive of vulnerable issues surfacing, they will not be allowed to do so. Counselling usually involves revealing extremely personal feelings that we feel vulnerable about. We can often feel more able to fully open up to a third party professional, someone who is not attached to our family or circumstances. Have confidence that your counsellor sees the bigger picture map of where you want to go, but is also adept enough to help you heal the small hurts along the way, too. The counsellor is not there to be your friend, however. Expect your beliefs, values, and opinions, to be shaken up, and looked at closely - this is where much of the healing potential lies. Instinctively, having our beliefs and opinions challenged can feel uncomfortable - and we must be willing to trust that the counsellor has positive intentions, in leading us to a better meaning, and thus, better feelings, about it. Sometimes better results can be obtained by seeking out a counsellor you've already worked with in the past, or someone who understands your issues well, before you begin sessions.
- Perception - The counsellor has the acumen, vision, and understanding to help you identify and remedy, areas where a better perspective on the event(s), may help. Judgements are required, often very quickly mid-session, in respect of which values or opinions need to be challenged to improve overall mental health, as opposed to those which can do not contribute so much to the bigger picture, or are secondary to other more important goals. A therapist who recognises this quickly, can help you generate desired changes, quickly.
Depression Counselling In Shiremoor
Ironically, depression itself can stop us getting help for depression - making it one of the most debilitating mental health challenges we face.
Depression can be the result of both unuseful thinking patterns and an ongoing state of helplessness or hopelessness. Counselling can help with both.
Some also look at other options for depression, such as herbal remedies e.g. St John's Wort, or supplements such as 5 Hydroxy-Tryptophan. Always seek the advice of your medical professional, for these items.
There's more info on depression, here.
To check on costs and booking options for counselling in Shiremoor, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Anxiety Counselling In Shiremoor
The root of anxiety is often based in our learned associations - a repeated experience of negative reinforcement with something specific, can become a more generalised problem later in life, without realising.
In counselling you should be able to identify the roots of where the anxiety has started, and get help to overcome the day to day impact anxiety has in your life.
Sometimes anxiety only occurs in very specific situations. These can be associated with just one event in the past (if traumatic) enough, where we've learned to fear a certain set of circumstances or events.
A counsellor can help you unearth where such an association may lie, and to view it from a different perspective, to help ease current day to day life.
Anxiety can be tackled with a variety of approaches in the counselling room, including EMDR, working on the original trauma, or deconditioning the associated experience.
Overcoming fear usually means giving your therapist the background information and allowing them to help guide you toward the best solution.
Counselling help for anxiety is available. Call us direct on 0191 580 3700 to arrange.
Relationship Counselling Shiremoor
From time to time we all have difficulties in relationships, whether this is a romantic relationship or not. The differing interests, beliefs, values, and even generational differences, can unwittingly create tension that is difficult to explain or comprehend fully, without assistance.
Romantic relationships will always involve disagreements, over everything from the mundane routine of daily life, to one-off incidents, like infidelity.
Both people in a relationship can benefit, either from acute help for an urgent relationship difficulty, or ongoing work on relationship communication and interaction.
Relationship counselling can assist you both to see where the communication difficulties lie, and how to navigate them.
Sometimes a therapist can assist this understanding by helping you see how current patterns, relate to the past, and the previous episodes in life that each partner brings to the relationship.
Whilst we would all like to be able to improve our relationships without help, a private counsellor has the training and skills necessary to help you make noticeable improvements in daily life.
Get more info on our main page for relationship and marriage counselling, here.
To enquire about costs or availability for relationship counselling, ring direct on 0191 580 3700.
Bereavement Counselling Shiremoor
Loss in life is usually related to a loved one or friend passing away. The extent of our grieving can differ though, from one individual to another. Substantial emotional symptoms can result from (e.g.) loss of function due to retirement, loss of purpose when children move out, or loss of contact with children, when separating due to divorce.
Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. Others are stuck in a longer term pattern of grief which can be harmful in it's own way.
Whether you've been suffering over a long term period with chronic grief issues, or lost something or someone only recently, bereavement counselling can help you identify the difference between appropriate grieving and unhealthy levels of grief, as well as practical coping mechanism and supports to use.
Full info on grief counselling is available here.
To get started with grief counselling, call us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
Anger Counselling Shiremoor
Anger can be both emotionally and physically destructive, resulting in emotional volatility but also physical expressions, when the emotions are too overwhelming.
If internal beliefs, or model of the world, is too restrictive, it can become all to easy to shatter internal ideas about how the world should be, thus resulting in an angry outburst.
Irregular bouts of anger can crop up during particularly stressful times or life events, and can be managed temporarily by attempting to alleviate stress in general.
Rather than manage symptoms alone, counselling for anger issues is more likely to help by analysing how previous events in life have led to a pattern of angry behaviour, over time.
Both are appropriate for different individuals, at different times, depending on needs and circumstances.
Find out more about anger counselling here.
Private anger therapy is now available to book. To arrange, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Shiremoor
In reality, most of us are unaware, at a conscious level, of how an event can affect us, emotionally.
Any event in life that is outside the range of our norms in life - what we believe, what we value, etc, can result in trauma.
Breaking these norms of experience can result in trauma - and feelings of isolation, loss of appetite, lack of socialising, dissociation and lack of interest in life.
We often have a fixed idea about what trauma is, with a vision of a helpless person suffering a huge incident.
Multiple smaller traumatic episodes can also result in accumulated emotional difficulties over time, and it can be more difficult to label these issues as in need of acute mental health care, when compared to more impactful, one-off traumas from widely recognised sources.
We work with those suffering from all forms of trauma, including acute one-off episodes, through to PTSD or other more chronic manifestations of emotional trauma.
We understand that seeking a counsellor for this type of work can be unnerving, and it can be especially important to find a counsellor who meets your needs and is sympathetic.
To read more about trauma counselling, visit our main trauma page.
To arrange counselling for trauma, or find out if we might work well together, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or request a callback, here.
Addiction Counselling Shiremoor
It's easy to become addicted to something in the course of day-to-day life, without noticing it happening consciously.
Sometimes, when going through exceptional stress, we adopt a certain way to cope, as a one-off means to feel better.
It's surprisingly easy to continue using this one coping mechanism in this way, and thus end up using it as the *only* coping mechanism, whenever stress arises.
With too much substance or behaviour abuse comes rationalisation - the belief that the level of stress we're dealing with is now normal - when in fact it is not.
We normally associate addiction with substances like alcohol or drugs, but process or behavioural addictions are now very common, like shoplifting, sex, or food addiction.
Counselling can help gain understanding on the underlying causal issues behind a pattern of behaviour in life. It can also assist you in developing practical means to cope with the addiction in the short term, while longer term work on the underlying causes continues.
Questions re addiction counselling? Get answers direct on 0191 580 3700.
Your First Counselling Session
The first session is usually used to get to know your counsellor, and they you, and set appropriate expectations for your counselling sessions, for example, frequency, how many, charges, etc.
Some counsellors offer the first session free, to see if you are a good fit together. Check if your first meeting carries standard charges or not.
Agreeing On Progress Goals
Have an open and frank discussion with your counsellor at the beginning, so that you see eye to eye on what will happen next. Dealing with these issues up front makes it easier to get on with the job at hand, later.
Top Questions To Ask
Asking specific questions before beginning work with a counsellor can help avoid wasted time and money.
How likely is it that I don't feel better after counselling?
- It's important, throughout the sessions you have, to check in with your therapist about the progress you're making, and your expectations of results and timeline going forward. This also helps the therapist navigate your sessions together to be the most comfortable experience possible.
How long should therapy for (your issue) last?
- Understand that this is a question with no one fixed, correct, answer. You're looking here for more of how the counsellor reacts, rather than the content of the answer. In reality, duration will depend on multiple factors:
- Other, emotionally related, problems, that get in the way of treating the main issue, and therefore must be treated first.
- Inability to predict how many aspects of a given event will require resolution, in what order, and how many times, before feeling emotionally better.
- Each individual processes emotions and changes of meaning, at a different rate, that is unique to them. We all heal at different rates - this is normal.
Therefore, please do not expect a definitive answer to this question.
In terms of timescales, you both need to allow enough time to open up, access, and feel better about painful long term memories. A longer time frame commitment from you, gives the therapist greater confidence in opening up longer term issues for work, they otherwise wouldn't do, with only a shorter time frame available. Looking at these more difficult events can take a longer time period. It's important to communicate clearly throughout counselling sessions, to make sure misunderstandings don't occur.
Do you have specific expertise in any one area?
- Certain types of therapy carry with them, specific types of training or qualifications. Being prudent with pre-purchase questions like these, will help you ascertain which therapist it's worth taking the counselling journey with.
What is your availability?
- Naturally each counsellor's diary is different, and while you might have found a good person-to-person match, don't forget to check availability.
Counsellors Available In Shiremoor
Our therapists work independently. Although most of our counsellors are located in the Newcastle area, different counsellors offer therapy at different locations throughout Tyne & Wear, by arrangement.
Getting Started With Counselling In Shiremoor
Get your counselling queries answered, and find out if we might work well together, by ringing direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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