Selecting The Right Counsellor Chopwell
Counselling is a personal experience.
Your counsellor will understand you, in a unique way, that few (if any) others, do.
Although the counsellor may be impartial and ambivalent, opening up during a counselling session can feel vulnerable. A good choice of counsellor can help you see a new perspective on life, and money well spent.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
A great counselling relationship, with appropriate boundaries, will be based on:
- Safe - The counsellor's room should feel like a sanctuary, sheltered from the external world, or it's concerns, so that we feel secure enough to speak about our worries.
- Approval - A competent therapist should help you feel unconditionally accepted, no matter your feelings you have about a particular event. The right counsellor will help pace the feelings and experiences you're describing, while allowing you to express all the associated feelings, untethered.
- Partnership - Working together with your counsellor should feel like a partnership. Clients need the counsellor to lead the session, set a safe space, and assist with new perspectives needed. Equally, the counsellor depends on you to be as honest and open as possible, or they have nothing to work with, and little progress can be made. A mutually supportive, collaborative environment can help you get the change you want quickly, with the minimum of discomfort.
- Mutual respect - You & your counsellor require a sense of two-way understanding between you, and a respect for each other, in every element of the counselling relationship. e.g. If your therapist works too slow - the lack of results can mean motivation reduces. But if they work too fast, it can feel awkward, or distressing. Understand that, even through the difficult sessions, the counsellor has a clear path ahead for you, and knows what they are doing. Small wins can be the catalyst encouraging longer term gains, as the counselling relationship continues.
- Listening - One of the main counselling tasks is to be a good listener. Understanding non-verbal communication during a session is often just as important for a counsellor, as words spoken aloud. Ensure you are willing to listen to the counsellor when they do talk - as they could be attempting to help you give a more forgiving meaning, to a troublesome event, and thus ease your pain. We often respond to questions with our usual answers, that we routinely give in our normal environment. Interesting results can be achieved by listening intently to the therapist's question, as though it's the first time you'd heard it.
- Compassion - We all have an intuitive need to connect with others, and have our experiences and interpretations acknowledged as being real, and acceptable. It's important to be able to feel that your counsellor is empathetic to your concerns and upsets, understands how and why you feel the way you do, and yet is also willing and able to help lead you to a better place about the issues you're bringing to therapy.
- Confidence - We don't usually start therapy in a confident place. Most commonly we've tried everything we can, on our own, to feel better, but were unable. Results from counselling take time - we are dealing often with long term or deep seated issues, that need solid detective work, before beginning the process of change. Take comfort and faith from the smallest of breakthroughs made during a session - and allow it to build your hope of even better breakthroughs, in future sessions. Optimism about the future, and about what's possible, are important in life, regardless of whether you've felt the need for counselling help or not. But rather than holding out all hope for fantastic gains of huge magnitude, take faith and joy in the small steps during your counselling journey too, because they point you to other realisations you wouldn't otherwise have made.
- Trust - Knowing that, when we do put forth our concerns, we can trust a counsellor to assist in the most appropriate way, no matter how deep our emotions or feelings, can allow even the deepest wounds to heal. Counselling usually involves revealing extremely personal feelings that we feel vulnerable about. We can often feel more able to fully open up to a third party professional, someone who is not attached to our family or circumstances. An experienced therapist is equally skilled at navigating both the bigger picture of where the therapy is going, but also the smaller picture of where you're at now. The counsellor is not there to be your friend, however. Feeling better means giving different meanings to old events - this means challenging you on the conclusions you've made, and the beliefs you hold. Our instinct, when we feel attacked in this way, is to retaliate - but be assured that these challenges are well intentioned, and are there for the purpose of helping you heal. There are two ways to make this easier - (I) do not tackle bigger issues in counselling until you've built confidence with your therapist by tackling small issues first; or (ii) look for a therapist who, from the outset, has longer experience, or more experience with your personal issues.
- Perception - The counsellor has the acumen, vision, and understanding to help you identify and remedy, areas where a better perspective on the event(s), may help. A trained counsellor can tell the difference between challenging you on an opinion or conclusion that may not be worthwhile, as opposed to helping you look differently at an event that can have a positive impact on your overall mental health. Your long term mental health can make great gains, where these fine distinctions are clearly recognised.
Depression Counselling Chopwell
Depression is debilitating in that it is one of the few issues in life where the issue itself can prevent us from getting help for the issue - depression can stop us getting the help we need.
Counselling can help identify and deal with the underlying issues and thinking patterns - your counsellor should help you recognise contributing issues and maintaining factors.
Other mental health options beyond counselling such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy have also proven effective for depression and are widely used in the NHS.
Our main page for depression has more information.
To check on costs and booking options for counselling in Chopwell, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Anxiety Counselling Chopwell
Although not always the case, the main driver of anxiety, can be conditioning, rather than beliefs. This means, an association we've developed attached to a certain set of circumstances or events, that we've developed unconsciously.
Techniques used by counsellors may help reduce the serverity of the anxiety reaction you're used to, as well as help you understand how the pattern of anxiety has developed.
More specific anxiety such as acute episodes of panic or panic attacks, also have their roots often in the past, perhaps with a one-off specific experience, or association to an event, that we don't consciously realise.
Deconditioning work can be undertaken with a therapist's help, to help untangle the meanings attached to an original event, and thus feel better about it - and less anxious.
Progress can be made on anxiety when we realise the fear is attributable not to the original stimulus itself - but what we thought it meant. Once we learn to make the distinction between the two, fear is usually lessened.
Overcoming fear usually means giving your therapist the background information and allowing them to help guide you toward the best solution.
Counselling help for anxiety is available. Call us direct on 0191 580 3700 to arrange.
All relationships go through turbulence, no matter who we are. In fact, relationships with those closest to us, like family, are often the most difficult. We all experience relationship difficulties, because, quite simply, we are all individuals, with unique backgrounds, history, upbringing, and values.
Marriages or civil partnerships can come under strain from issues like contrasting interests, differing priorities, and disagreements about what's important in life.
Refreshing your ability to relate to each other, in a healthy way, where understanding is clear and meaning is retained, can make real differences for both individuals.
Relationship counselling can assist you both to see where the communication difficulties lie, and how to navigate them.
Sometimes a therapist can assist this understanding by helping you see how current patterns, relate to the past, and the previous episodes in life that each partner brings to the relationship.
Whilst we would all like to be able to improve our relationships without help, a private counsellor has the training and skills necessary to help you make noticeable improvements in daily life.
We discuss relationship counselling and marriage counselling options in more detail here.
Or, to arrange relationship counselling now, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or ask for a callback, on the form opposite. We'll ring you back at a convenient time.
The passing of a family member, friend, or pet usually explains an episode of sudden grief or loss. But, loss can also occur in many other forms, too. A sudden change of routine (as many experienced recently with covid), a friend moving away, or a fall-out between family members, can all result in significant grief, that many would dismiss as irrelevant or meaningless.
Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. It's also possible to become stuck in a never-starting, or never-ending cycle of grief, which carries its own complications.
Whether you've been suffering over a long term period with chronic grief issues, or lost something or someone only recently, bereavement counselling can help you identify the difference between appropriate grieving and unhealthy levels of grief, as well as practical coping mechanism and supports to use.
Full info on grief counselling is available here.
For bereavement counselling costs and availability, call us on 0191 580 3700.
Anger Counselling Chopwell
Anger is often the result of one of our most basic beliefs or values being contradicted.
Too many internal emotional restrictions, often self-imposed, limit our viewpont as to what is acceptable in life, and exacerbate anger.
Irregular bouts of anger can crop up during particularly stressful times or life events, and can be managed temporarily by attempting to alleviate stress in general.
Managing anger practically like this, can help for the short term, but for long term resolution, therapeutic intervention is usually needed to understand the past, and how it has led to current day feelings of anger, as a habit.
While practical tools and in-the-moment techniques are enough for many, it may benefit those looking for a longer term solution to focus on counselling instead of anger management.
Find out more about anger counselling here.
If you're struggling with anger, counselling may help. To check on costs and ask questions, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Often we are unaware of the impact an emotional trauma has, until much later.
When an event happens in the outside world which goes against our understanding of life, it results in trauma, that is unprocessed.
Breaking these norms of experience can result in trauma - and feelings of isolation, loss of appetite, lack of socialising, dissociation and lack of interest in life.
We often have a fixed idea about what trauma is, with a vision of a helpless person suffering a huge incident.
Multiple smaller traumatic episodes can also result in accumulated emotional difficulties over time, and it can be more difficult to label these issues as in need of acute mental health care, when compared to more impactful, one-off traumas from widely recognised sources.
Trauma counselling can help with both short term, one-off, obvious traumatic experiences, as well as longer term issues accrued over time.
Taking the step the get counselling can feel scary at first. But your counsellor has seen and heard emotional complaints of every size and type over their experience.
Our main page on trauma counselling has more info.
Questions about trauma counselling? Ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Addiction Counselling Chopwell
It's easy to become addicted to something in the course of day-to-day life, without noticing it happening consciously.
Sometimes, when going through exceptional stress, we adopt a certain way to cope, as a one-off means to feel better.
But, continuing to abuse this mechanism we've found, over time, can lead to an unhealthy dependence.
This can be a dangerous time - as too much overuse of one coping mechanism can convince us that the level of stress we're under - is ok.
While most present with an addiction to a substance like alcohol or drugs, an increasing number are developing behavioural addictions which could benefit from counselling, such as collecting or hoarding behaviour, viewing pornography obsessively, or compulsive shopping.
Counselling can help you overcome addiction by first understanding the benefit you get, from the substance or behaviour itself. Addiction counselling can also provide short term coping mechanisms and signposting toward support channels until long term gains are made.
If you're thinking of addiction counselling, get your questions answered on 0191 580 3700.
Arranging Counselling For The First Time
Getting To Know Each Other
How often do you expect counselling sessions? What progress do you expect to make? Define fast and slow progress? These expectations can cary widely, so make sure you and your therapist agree on the details, from the outset.
Costs of the first session can be anything from free, to £100 or more in busy areas. Check the specifics with your counsellor. Check if your first meeting carries standard charges or not.
Have an open and frank discussion with your counsellor at the beginning, so that you see eye to eye on what will happen next. If this is done at the start of the counselling relationship, it leaves the rest of the sessions to deal only with the actual counselling work, and not the practicalities.
What To Ask A Counsellor Chopwell
Answers to the following questions can help you track down the most appropriate therapist for your needs.
How likely is it that I don't feel better after counselling?
- Make sure you stay connected with your therapist, and share the same expectations about the practical elements, throughout. As well as keeping things moving, this helps the therapist look after you best.
How long will this take?
- This is a how long is a piece of string question, with no real answer, except the following dependencies:
- Other, emotionally related, problems, that get in the way of treating the main issue, and therefore must be treated first.
- A behavioural pattern you seek to dissolve or resolve, has many more contributing events from the past, than originally expected, and all need to be resolved to dissolve the behavioural pattern
- Differing rates at which different individuals are able to make sense of, and re-process, events. The only "not normal" approach would be expecting everyone to feel better at the same rate.
Accordingly, event the best therapist, will be giving you only their best opinion, of this question.
Also, bear in mind - a counsellor's job is to help you feel better and process events and meanings better, to result in better emotional feelings and mental health. A brief time frame for treatment may make a therapist more reluctant to explore very deep issues, since there may not be enough time to complete them satisfactorily, without leaving the client in a vulnerable place. Looking at these more difficult events can take a longer time period. Avoid confusion or disagreement around the progress of counselling sessions, by keeping clear communication channels open throughout. This will minimise risk of sessions ending abruptly, with issues undealt with.
What is your background in counselling?
- Certain types of therapy carry with them, specific types of training or qualifications. Making sure you and your therapist are a match, upfront, makes sense, and could prevent a costly mistake.
Can I start right away?
- Therapists are usually busy people, with little spare time between sessions. Getting logistics sorted out now, will help later.
Counsellors Available In Chopwell
Truth Counselling therapists work independently, and take care of their own diaries. Central Newcastle is home to most of our therapists, however we can usually arrange sessions in surrounding Tyne & Wear locations, like Chopwell. Please ask if unsure.
How To Enquire About Counselling
Get an idea of costs, and availability, by ringing us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
Get Answers Fast:
Get Immediate Answers: