Choosing The Best Counsellor Woolsington
Counselling can be an intimidating experience, for those experiencing it for the first time.
Your counsellor will understand you, in a unique way, that few (if any) others, do.
Although the counsellor may be impartial and ambivalent, opening up during a counselling session can feel vulnerable. A good choice of counsellor can help you see a new perspective on life, and money well spent.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
A functional counselling relationship, depends upon several key factors:
- Safety - First and foremost, we need to feel safe to open up about our concerns, in order to receive the help to overcome them.
- Permission - The therapy room should be a safe space where you have permission to express your feelings in a safe and protected environment. With the right help, you'll feel like your therapist is able to handle whatever comes up, no matter how you express it.
- Teamwork - Find someone who you can work together with easily, for best outcomes. As a client you depend on the therapist to lend insight and perspective on the issue you face. But the professional also has a need - for the client to be brutally honest and forthright. If not, the changes achieved may be short term. If you do not fully reveal the info asked of you, it may take longer to achieve the change you want.
- Reciprocal Respect - Strong therapeutic relationships are built on a firm sense of respect and co-operation. e.g. If the speed of work is causing too much upset, or discomfort, speak to your therapist about slowing down so that you match each other's pace, and expectations. Understand that, even through the difficult sessions, the counsellor has a clear path ahead for you, and knows what they are doing. Once you have developed a few positive experiences with a counsellor, of revealing a small issue, and successfully working through it, trust can grow, mutual respect can widen, and motivation can increase, making further progress easier.
- Active Listener - Thorough counsellors are accomplished at active listening. A wise counsellor is aware, that much more can often be gained by staying silent, and listening closely, not only to what is said, but *how* it is said, in order to better understand a client's position, and be better placed to facilitate greater context (and more comfortable change. Ensure you are willing to listen to the counsellor when they do talk - as they could be attempting to help you give a more forgiving meaning, to a troublesome event, and thus ease your pain. We all have our stock responses for certain questions, that have become our usual responses, over the years. Interesting results can be achieved by listening intently to the therapist's question, as though it's the first time you'd heard it.
- Sympathetic - Before beginning to change any one thought pattern, or conclusion we've arrived at, as human beings we need to know that the meaning we arrived at, for certain events, is ok, and acceptable. It's important to be able to feel that your counsellor is empathetic to your concerns and upsets, understands how and why you feel the way you do, and yet is also willing and able to help lead you to a better place about the issues you're bringing to therapy.
- Hopeful - Most of us begin the counselling journey at a place where we do desperately need hope. Many of us try to change everything on the outside first, before finally realising the problem is actually inside, not outside. The counselling journey is not normally fast - it is a process. We need to trust that a positive outcome will happen, and a counsellor needs to be adept at illustrating how good things can be in the future, and help you see how that's possible, even though it won't happen overnight. Optimism about the future, and about what's possible, are important in life, regardless of whether you've felt the need for counselling help or not. Try to find a counsellor who helps you feel hopeful about the process, and the journey, from the outset.
- Trust - This is very close to safety, as above. Our unconscious mind will generally not reveal anything sensitive unless it feels entirely safe and supported in doing so. In counselling, most of us reveal aspects of ourselves and our feelings, we don't reveal to anyone else, even family or loved ones. The impartiality of a third party therapist, can help us open up to heal previous hurts more fully than working with someone we know. Trust is required that (I) the counsellor can guide the entire counselling journey with you and (ii) they have the skills and competence required to help you resolve each individual hurt, too. However, the therapist will not always be accommodating, like a friend. If you're to get progress from therapy, you'll need new perspective on the meanings you've given to previous issues. The therapist will challenge your opinions, to help you arrive at better perspectives. Instinctively, having our beliefs and opinions challenged can feel uncomfortable - and we must be willing to trust that the counsellor has positive intentions, in leading us to a better meaning, and thus, better feelings, about it. Looking for a counsellor with more long term experience can help.
- Insights - The professional status of a counsellor, and their detachment from your personal circumstances, means they gain nothing from telling you what you want to hear. Part of what you're paying a therapist for, is their ability to highlight big issues, and help you work through them. A trained counsellor can tell the difference between challenging you on an opinion or conclusion that may not be worthwhile, as opposed to helping you look differently at an event that can have a positive impact on your overall mental health. Idenitfying such issues can make the difference between fast and effective therapy, as compared to long unproductive sessions, with no end in sight.
Depression Counselling Woolsington
There are not many ailments which themselves, make it difficult for us to get professional help to remedy them - but depression is one of them.
Whether you're suffering from short term sadness about a specific event, or longer term depressive symptoms, counselling can help overcome the thinking patterns of depression, as well as provide practical tools to recognise coping mechanisms attached, that may not be in an individual's best interests.
Depression can also respond well to other modalities and approaches, and your Doctor or medical professional may advise on exercise, dietary, and other changes that may help.
See more about counselling for depression, here.
To check on costs and booking options for counselling in Woolsington, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Anxiety Counselling In Woolsington
Although not always the case, the main driver of anxiety, can be conditioning, rather than beliefs. This means, an association we've developed attached to a certain set of circumstances or events, that we've developed unconsciously.
Techniques used by counsellors may help reduce the serverity of the anxiety reaction you're used to, as well as help you understand how the pattern of anxiety has developed.
Counselling can also help with more specific fears, phobias, or episodes of panic, attached to just one episode in the past.
Getting the help of a therapist can assist you in recognising where a previous association to fear may lie, and how to see it differently. This may help with anxiety experienced current day.
Anxiety can be tackled with a variety of approaches in the counselling room, including EMDR, working on the original trauma, or deconditioning the associated experience.
After discussing how anxiety impacts you in daily life, its patterns, and repeating elements, your therapist can provide options on the best treatment methods for you, to provide lasting results.
More info about counselling for anxiety is available on our main page here.
Relationship Counselling Woolsington
From time to time we all have difficulties in relationships, whether this is a romantic relationship or not. Differing backgrounds, values, and even age, can all bring conflicting interests into the open, creating situations that are extremely difficult to navigate, without professional assistance.
Romantic relationships will always involve disagreements, over everything from the mundane routine of daily life, to one-off incidents, like infidelity.
Refreshing your ability to relate to each other, in a healthy way, where understanding is clear and meaning is retained, can make real differences for both individuals.
Understanding and anticipating what your partner wants and expects from the relationship, needs daily work, and most couples are not clear on this.
A counsellor has the training and insight required to assist both parties to see the history and real reasons behind each individual's behaviour, and thus allow clearer communication to flow.
Whilst we would all like to be able to improve our relationships without help, a private counsellor has the training and skills necessary to help you make noticeable improvements in daily life.
Get more info on our main page for relationship and marriage counselling, here.
To enquire about costs or availability for relationship counselling, ring direct on 0191 580 3700.
We usually associate bereavement with the passing of a loved one, or a pet. But we all experience loss differently, and to differing degrees, depending on what the loss relates to. Losing a job due to unemployment, a partner due to divorce, or contact with a family member can result in loss, and the associated emotional issues to overcome.
Many find it difficult to even begin grieving, and feel stuck in a state of dissociation. Others are stuck in a longer term pattern of grief which can be harmful in it's own way.
Grief counselling can help you make key distinctions between a grieving process that is appropriate and healthy, as opposed to one that has become a problem.
Full info on grief counselling is available here.
To get started with grief counselling, call us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
Anger can be both emotionally and physically destructive, resulting in emotional volatility but also physical expressions, when the emotions are too overwhelming.
Anger can also be caused by too many "shoulds" in life, making it easy for self or others to break self-set rules, thus resulting in anger.
Periodic angry episodes happen to us all, but more frequent or uncontrollable anger is more likely to require intervention and therapeutic help.
Therapy for anger is quite different - and focuses instead on detective work around past events in life, family life, relationship issues, etc, as a means to get to the root of the anger habit.
It may be that for one individual, both counselling and anger management are suitable for different stages of the individual's journey. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
See our main page on anger counselling.
Counselling for anger is available. To check on costs and ask questions, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Woolsington
A one-off, acute traumatic experience can last only seconds, but the emotional impact can last for years or decades, unless help is sought.
Some traumatic events can keep us in a state of fight/flight until we're able to process them in a more gentle way.
Trauma often manifests as a sense of isolation or detachment from life, as if we are looking in at life, but not experiencing it personally.
A traumatic event can be a big, one-off, sudden, shock.
However trauma can also be much smaller, repeated episodes of emotional distress which, while no individual episode could be considered hugely traumatic, cumulatively add up over time, to aggregated emotional distress and difficulty.
A trauma counsellor can help with both types of trauma. Some have additional qualifications to assist with specialist interventions such as EMDR, or NLP techniques that have been effective with trauma sufferers in the past.
We understand that seeking a counsellor for this type of work can be unnerving, and it can be especially important to find a counsellor who meets your needs and is sympathetic.
Our main page on trauma counselling has more info.
To get your trauma counselling questions answered, ring us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
It's easy to become addicted to something in the course of day-to-day life, without noticing it happening consciously.
If we go through a period of very high stress, it's natural for us to look for ways to ease the pain.
But, continuing to abuse this mechanism we've found, over time, can lead to an unhealthy dependence.
With too much substance or behaviour abuse comes rationalisation - the belief that the level of stress we're dealing with is now normal - when in fact it is not.
While most present with an addiction to a substance like alcohol or drugs, an increasing number are developing behavioural addictions which could benefit from counselling, such as collecting or hoarding behaviour, viewing pornography obsessively, or compulsive shopping.
Counselling can help gain understanding on the underlying causal issues behind a pattern of behaviour in life. Addiction counselling can also provide short term coping mechanisms and signposting toward support channels until long term gains are made.
For advice on addiction counselling options, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Getting Started With Counselling
Getting To Know Each Other
The first session is usually used to get to know your counsellor, and they you, and set appropriate expectations for your counselling sessions, for example, frequency, how many, charges, etc.
Some counsellors offer the first session free, to see if you are a good fit together. Check if your first meeting carries standard charges or not.
What do you expect from counselling? Are you looking for the shortest possible fix? Or a longer exploration of underlying issues? Set the right expectations, before you begin. It's important to do this from the outset so that you understand each others' expectations, and the following sessions can focus on the counselling itself and not the practical elements.
What To Ask A Counsellor Woolsington
Answers to the following questions can help you track down the most appropriate therapist for your needs.
What happens if I don't feel better?
- Make sure you stay connected with your therapist, and share the same expectations about the practical elements, throughout. Doing this regularly means everyone understands each other and there are no risks of suddenly ending a diet of counselling sessions unexpectedly, and without support.
How long should therapy for (your issue) last?
- Bear in mind here that this is a very difficult question to answer, with no one solution, as it has so many (very personal) variables and dependencies built in - that are dependent on, for example:
- Elements from the past, that surface during treatment, that require treatment before the primary complaint can be attended to.
- A behavioural pattern you seek to dissolve or resolve, has many more contributing events from the past, than originally expected, and all need to be resolved to dissolve the behavioural pattern
- Each individual processes emotions and changes of meaning, at a different rate, that is unique to them. We all heal at different rates - this is normal.
Therefore, please do not expect a definitive answer to this question.
In terms of timescales, you both need to allow enough time to open up, access, and feel better about painful long term memories. A longer time frame commitment from you, gives the therapist greater confidence in opening up longer term issues for work, they otherwise wouldn't do, with only a shorter time frame available. Naturally, deeper work requires more time. If you are not open and honest throughout counselling sessions, it can present the possibility of sessions suddenly coming to an end, when emotions are high, and difficult to manage alone.
Do you have research interests, or a specialism in one particular type of counselling?
- Perhaps your therapist has worked extensively with a focus on one type of complaint. Making sure you and your therapist are a match, upfront, makes sense, and could prevent a costly mistake.
Can I start right away?
- Tracking down a specialist with expertise in your issue is one thing - but are they free to work with you? Don't forget to check.
Counselling Sessions Woolsington
Our counsellors are self-employed and independent. We can usually offer counselling sessions at most locations throughout Tyne & Wear, including Woolsington, by arrangement.
How To Enquire About Counselling
To check on availability, costs of counselling in Woolsington, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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