Choosing The Right Counsellor Harraton
Counselling is a personal experience.
Your counsellor will understand you, in a unique way, that few (if any) others, do.
It's easy to feel exposed or intimidated, when starting out, until a rapport is established with your counsellor. The wrong counsellor can mean wasted money and lack of results, as well as reduced motivation.
Finding The Right Counsellor
A great counselling relationship, with appropriate boundaries, will be based on:
- Secure - A counselling room should be somewhere secure - a refuge from the outside world and its concerns, if we are to feel comfortable revealing very personal aspects of ourselves.
- Approval - A competent therapist should help you feel unconditionally accepted, no matter your feelings you have about a particular event. You'll know you may have found the best therapist when they allow you to fully express what's going on, without feeling restricted.
- Partnership - Working together with your counsellor should feel like a partnership. New ways to look at old events, often come from the therapist to the client. But the professional also has a need - for the client to be brutally honest and forthright. If not, the changes achieved may be short term. If you do not fully reveal the info asked of you, it may take longer to achieve the change you want.
- Consideration - Let understanding and appreciation flow equally between you and your counsellor, to help achieve a stronger counselling relationship. e.g. The counsellor needs to work at your pace - the pace you feel comfortable revealing difficulties at, as to force too much change too soon, may be uncomfortable. Be assured that the counsellor is guiding you towards a resolution on even the most emotional of issues. Once you have developed a few positive experiences with a counsellor, of revealing a small issue, and successfully working through it, trust can grow, mutual respect can widen, and motivation can increase, making further progress easier.
- Active Listener - Thorough counsellors are accomplished at active listening. Attention should be paid by the counsellor, to what the client says, but more importantly, what is also not said - as context, and non-verbal cues can often speak more about the meaning a client is giving to a word or phrase - than the words themselves. Ensure you are willing to listen to the counsellor when they do talk - as they could be attempting to help you give a more forgiving meaning, to a troublesome event, and thus ease your pain. It's easy to develop a habitual way of responding to certain questions, as we have done so, so many times, over years. However, concentrating on the questions asked, and providing answers that are unfiltered, and represent your true thoughts and feelings, will help you achieve results noticeably better, than simply responding with what you think you should respond with.
- Validation - The meanings we give to events, are as varied as human beings themselves. It's important that we feel our meanings are reasonable, given the circumstances. Does your counsellor bring the human elements to therapy? Empathy, validation, and understanding are the only starting point that allow better interpretations of old events, to flourish.
- Hopeful - Most of us begin the counselling journey at a place where we do desperately need hope. We usually need therapy help, because we've tried to overcome the issues ourselves, but without success. Results from counselling take time - we are dealing often with long term or deep seated issues, that need solid detective work, before beginning the process of change. Take comfort and faith from the smallest of breakthroughs made during a session - and allow it to build your hope of even better breakthroughs, in future sessions. Being hopeful about the future is important, no matter how negative our current circumstances may seem. What experience does your counsellor have with your issue specifically? How have they helped others, like you, in the past? Use these questions to decide if this counsellor's experience matches your expectations.
- Trust - The inner child, in all of us, seeks to protect us above all else. If the environment is not supportive of vulnerable issues surfacing, they will not be allowed to do so. No matter how reasonable our feelings may be to an outsider, we almost always feel some element of shame, guilt, or similar, about the fact that we have these feelings at all. Working with a counsellor as a neutral observer, can help us access deeper hurts that are ready to heal, as compared to attempting to work with someone we know, or even, on our own. An experienced therapist is equally skilled at navigating both the bigger picture of where the therapy is going, but also the smaller picture of where you're at now. However, the therapist will not always be accommodating, like a friend. Expect your beliefs, values, and opinions, to be shaken up, and looked at closely - this is where much of the healing potential lies. Our instinct, when we feel attacked in this way, is to retaliate - but be assured that these challenges are well intentioned, and are there for the purpose of helping you heal. There are two ways to make this easier - (I) do not tackle bigger issues in counselling until you've built confidence with your therapist by tackling small issues first; or (ii) look for a therapist who, from the outset, has longer experience, or more experience with your personal issues.
- Perception - The counsellor has the acumen, vision, and understanding to help you identify and remedy, areas where a better perspective on the event(s), may help. A trained counsellor can tell the difference between challenging you on an opinion or conclusion that may not be worthwhile, as opposed to helping you look differently at an event that can have a positive impact on your overall mental health. Idenitfying such issues can make the difference between fast and effective therapy, as compared to long unproductive sessions, with no end in sight.
Depression is debilitating in that it is one of the few issues in life where the issue itself can prevent us from getting help for the issue - depression can stop us getting the help we need.
Whether you're suffering from short term sadness about a specific event, or longer term depressive symptoms, counselling can help overcome the thinking patterns of depression, as well as provide practical tools to recognise coping mechanisms attached, that may not be in an individual's best interests.
Other mental health options beyond counselling such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy have also proven effective for depression and are widely used in the NHS.
Get more info about counselling for depression.
Ring us direct on 0191 580 3700 to check on availability and pricing of counselling in Harraton.
Anxiety Counselling Harraton
Long term generalised anxiety often comes from a learned association - a conditioning experience we've had repeatedly over time, but never really realised the conclusions we were making about it, unconsciously.
A counsellor can help you identify how the past contributes to a current day pattern of anxiety in your life, and how to work on it, so that it produces less of an overt reaction in day-to-day life.
More specific anxiety such as acute episodes of panic or panic attacks, also have their roots often in the past, perhaps with a one-off specific experience, or association to an event, that we don't consciously realise.
Getting the help of a therapist can assist you in recognising where a previous association to fear may lie, and how to see it differently. This may help with anxiety experienced current day.
The therapist can utilise a variety of techniques to tackle anxiety, including deconditioning, work on associated past events, or desensitisation, depending on specifics.
Overcoming fear usually means giving your therapist the background information and allowing them to help guide you toward the best solution.
Get the full info on counselling for anxiety here.
Every relationship goes through ups and downs, as part of the human experience. We all experience relationship difficulties, because, quite simply, we are all individuals, with unique backgrounds, history, upbringing, and values.
Marriages or civil partnerships can come under strain from issues like contrasting interests, differing priorities, and disagreements about what's important in life.
Refreshing your ability to relate to each other, in a healthy way, where understanding is clear and meaning is retained, can make real differences for both individuals.
When you live everyday with your partner, it often takes another third party to step in and help you see the wood for the trees, inside the relationship.
A counsellor has the training and insight required to assist both parties to see the history and real reasons behind each individual's behaviour, and thus allow clearer communication to flow.
Paying for counselling means getting focussed and attentive help targeting the most personal and life-changing issues humans go through.
We discuss relationship counselling and marriage counselling options in more detail here.
Or, to arrange relationship counselling now, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or ask for a callback, on the form opposite. We'll ring you back at a convenient time.
Bereavement Counselling Harraton
The passing of a family member, friend, or pet usually explains an episode of sudden grief or loss. But, loss can also occur in many other forms, too. Losing a job due to unemployment, a partner due to divorce, or contact with a family member can result in loss, and the associated emotional issues to overcome.
Many find it difficult to even begin grieving, and feel stuck in a state of dissociation. It's also possible to become stuck in a never-starting, or never-ending cycle of grief, which carries its own complications.
Whether for long or short term grief issues, grief counselling can provide essential support that is often unavailable from other sources.
More information about grief and bereavement counselling is here.
To get started with grief counselling, call us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
Anger results from a sense of values being broken, or boundaries being impeded upon.
If internal beliefs, or model of the world, is too restrictive, it can become all to easy to shatter internal ideas about how the world should be, thus resulting in an angry outburst.
Anger management teaches practical tools and techniques to manage anger or rage episodes in day-to-day life.
Anger counselling aims to help understand the root cause of the anger better, in order to overcome the pattern of angry behaviour and feelings in your life.
It may be that for one individual, both counselling and anger management are suitable for different stages of the individual's journey. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
See our main page on anger counselling.
If you're struggling with anger, counselling may help. To arrange, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Harraton
Often we are unaware of the impact an emotional trauma has, until much later.
A traumatic experience can be anything which sufficiently breaks one's "model of the world" - the beliefs, values, and perceptions we have about how the world works, differences between right and wrong, etc.
Breaking these norms of experience can result in trauma - and feelings of isolation, loss of appetite, lack of socialising, dissociation and lack of interest in life.
We often have a fixed idea about what trauma is, with a vision of a helpless person suffering a huge incident.
Smaller episodes of emotional distress are often dismissed as irrelevant and potentially less deserving of treatment. However the long term effects can be just as damaging as very obvious trauma.
A trauma counsellor can help with both types of trauma. Some have additional qualifications to assist with specialist interventions such as EMDR, or NLP techniques that have been effective with trauma sufferers in the past.
While attending counselling for the first time can be intimidating, your counsellor has done this many times before. Generally, there is nothing you can say that would surprise them or they have not heard before. The counselling room is the one place it's safe to open up and feel heard.
Our main page on trauma counselling has more info.
To get your trauma counselling questions answered, ring us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
While coping with the busy-ness of every day life, it's easy to develop a dependence on a substance or, behaviour, without noticing.
It's easy to establish a dependence on some means to cope, in the face of unusually high stressors, or an event we weren't expecting.
It's surprisingly easy to continue using this one coping mechanism in this way, and thus end up using it as the *only* coping mechanism, whenever stress arises.
Eventually we can end up believing that not only is the repeated use of the substance or behaviour ok, but that there is no unusual stress anymore - the stress of the original event has become normal.
We normally associate addiction with substances like alcohol or drugs, but process or behavioural addictions are now very common, like shoplifting, sex, or food addiction.
Most importantly, therapy work can help identify why someone is engaging in addiction, and why they keep coming back to it. While long term progress takes time, a counsellor can assist you in short term gains by helping you access the right support at times you feel triggered.
Questions re addiction counselling? Get answers direct on 0191 580 3700.
Arranging Counselling For The First Time
How It Works
The first session is usually used to get to know your counsellor, and they you, and set appropriate expectations for your counselling sessions, for example, frequency, how many, charges, etc.
Private counselling costs can vary wildly, so do check beforehand about specifics. It's common for initial sessions to be a reduced rate, or sometimes, free. Check if your first meeting carries standard charges or not.
What do you expect from counselling? Are you looking for the shortest possible fix? Or a longer exploration of underlying issues? Set the right expectations, before you begin. Dealing with these issues up front makes it easier to get on with the job at hand, later.
Get Answers For These Important Questions
Choosing the right questions to ask before you begin can help find the right counsellor for you.
What action do we take if I don't get any benefit from counselling?
- Make sure you stay connected with your therapist, and share the same expectations about the practical elements, throughout. Doing this regularly means everyone understands each other and there are no risks of suddenly ending a diet of counselling sessions unexpectedly, and without support.
How long should therapy for (your issue) last?
- This is a how long is a piece of string question, with no real answer, except the following dependencies:
- Elements from the past, that surface during treatment, that require treatment before the primary complaint can be attended to.
- Many more events than anticipated, are contributing toward a current day pattern, and all need resolution before the pattern dissolves or the client feels better.
- Differing rates at which different individuals are able to make sense of, and re-process, events. There is no one fixed "speed" of emotional healing, and to expect this would be unreasonable.
For all these reasons, don't expect a concrete answer to this question - even a very experienced therapist will be giving you their best estimate, before therapy begins - there is no more accurate information available.
Also, bear in mind - a counsellor's job is to help you feel better and process events and meanings better, to result in better emotional feelings and mental health. A brief time frame for treatment may make a therapist more reluctant to explore very deep issues, since there may not be enough time to complete them satisfactorily, without leaving the client in a vulnerable place. Looking at these more difficult events can take a longer time period. It's important to communicate clearly throughout counselling sessions, to make sure misunderstandings don't occur.
What is your background in counselling?
- Some counsellors have historical experience or specialist qualifications in particular areas of therapy, such as trauma or PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. Making sure you and your therapist are a match, upfront, makes sense, and could prevent a costly mistake.
What is your availability?
- Naturally each counsellor's diary is different, and while you might have found a good person-to-person match, don't forget to check availability.
Counselling Sessions Harraton
Truth Counselling's counsellors work independently. We can usually offer counselling sessions at most locations throughout Tyne & Wear, including Harraton, by arrangement.
Arranging Counselling Harraton
Get your counselling queries answered, and find out if we might work well together, by ringing direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
Get Answers Fast:
Get Immediate Answers: