Choosing The Right Counsellor Tynemouth
It's easy to feel vulnerable or raw when starting out on counselling sessions.
The relationship between you and your counsellor, is a private one.
Although the counsellor may be impartial and ambivalent, opening up during a counselling session can feel vulnerable. A good choice of counsellor can help you see a new perspective on life, and money well spent.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
A functional counselling relationship, depends upon several key factors:
- Secure - A counselling room should be somewhere secure - a refuge from the outside world and its concerns, if we are to feel comfortable revealing very personal aspects of ourselves.
- Approval - A competent therapist should help you feel unconditionally accepted, no matter your feelings you have about a particular event. With the right help, you'll feel like your therapist is able to handle whatever comes up, no matter how you express it.
- Synergy - Good input from both you and your therapist, co-ordinated properly, is important. As clients, we look to the professional in the room, to help gain new insights, and help us change our mind about the events of our lives. But the professional also has a need - for the client to be brutally honest and forthright. If not, the changes achieved may be short term. A two-way understanding is needed, to enable the change you want, to actually happen.
- Equality - Mutual understanding and appreciation is required throughout your counselling session and should underline all your work in the therapy room. e.g. Achieving results too quickly can actually be a bad thing!...if it causes too much discomfort. Be willing to change pace to match your counsellor, within reason. Understand that, even through the difficult sessions, the counsellor has a clear path ahead for you, and knows what they are doing. Small wins can be the catalyst encouraging longer term gains, as the counselling relationship continues.
- Active Listener - Thorough counsellors are accomplished at active listening. A counsellor's silence can often be mistaken by the client as boredom or lack of interest. However, an experienced therapist is often ascertaining more from silence, or how the client fills in that silence - than the spoken word. Ensure you are willing to listen to the counsellor when they do talk - as they could be attempting to help you give a more forgiving meaning, to a troublesome event, and thus ease your pain. It's easy to develop a habitual way of responding to certain questions, as we have done so, so many times, over years. However, concentrating on the questions asked, and providing answers that are unfiltered, and represent your true thoughts and feelings, will help you achieve results noticeably better, than simply responding with what you think you should respond with.
- Validation - The meanings we give to events, are as varied as human beings themselves. It's important that we feel our meanings are reasonable, given the circumstances. It's important to be able to feel that your counsellor is empathetic to your concerns and upsets, understands how and why you feel the way you do, and yet is also willing and able to help lead you to a better place about the issues you're bringing to therapy.
- Enthusiasm - Unfortunately, a lack of energy and optimism are often what's brought us to counselling in the first place. Many of us try to change everything on the outside first, before finally realising the problem is actually inside, not outside. Therapy work takes time, and is not a quick fix, nor a one size fits all solution. We need to trust that a positive outcome will happen, and a counsellor needs to be adept at illustrating how good things can be in the future, and help you see how that's possible, even though it won't happen overnight. Optimism about the future, and about what's possible, are important in life, regardless of whether you've felt the need for counselling help or not. What experience does your counsellor have with your issue specifically? How have they helped others, like you, in the past? Use these questions to decide if this counsellor's experience matches your expectations.
- Trust - We have to first feel trust, that the counsellor can handle our emotional baggage, before we have confidence to release it. No matter how reasonable our feelings may be to an outsider, we almost always feel some element of shame, guilt, or similar, about the fact that we have these feelings at all. Working with a counsellor as a neutral observer, can help us access deeper hurts that are ready to heal, as compared to attempting to work with someone we know, or even, on our own. Trust is required that (I) the counsellor can guide the entire counselling journey with you and (ii) they have the skills and competence required to help you resolve each individual hurt, too. However, the therapist will not always be accommodating, like a friend. Part of their role is to help you question the meanings you have assigned to certain events - in order to help you feel better about them. The short term discomfort of having our model of the world challenged must be offset against the potential emotional gains to be made, and the skill of the therapist in guiding you there. There are two ways to make this easier - (I) do not tackle bigger issues in counselling until you've built confidence with your therapist by tackling small issues first; or (ii) look for a therapist who, from the outset, has longer experience, or more experience with your personal issues.
- Perspective - A key reason people attend therapy is they feel - stuck - with a particular circumstance or set of feelings. A counsellor can help you identify practical actions that may help - but more importantly - highlight new perspectives that help you feel better, too. There is a difference between challenging productively, and challenging needlessly. A good counsellor knows when one particular belief is causing problems in other areas, and needs to be challenged, and when another belief is secondary, and can be left alone. The difference is priceless, in the emotional peace a client experiences, over time.
Depression Counselling Tynemouth
Depression is an issue that presents us with a unique challenge - how does someone with depression, who feels unworthy of help, who may believe they cannot get better - seek help for depression? It can become a vicious circle all too easily.
Depression can be the result of both unuseful thinking patterns and an ongoing state of helplessness or hopelessness. Counselling can help with both.
Depression can also respond well to other modalities and approaches, and your Doctor or medical professional may advise on exercise, dietary, and other changes that may help.
Our main page for depression has more information.
To get the counselling options in Tynemouth, contact us direct, by calling 0191 580 3700, or completing the form opposite.
Anxiety Counselling Tynemouth
Long term generalised anxiety often comes from a learned association - a conditioning experience we've had repeatedly over time, but never really realised the conclusions we were making about it, unconsciously.
In counselling you should be able to identify the roots of where the anxiety has started, and get help to overcome the day to day impact anxiety has in your life.
Sometimes anxiety only occurs in very specific situations. These can be associated with just one event in the past (if traumatic) enough, where we've learned to fear a certain set of circumstances or events.
Working on the associations of the past in this way, can often ease the anxiety experienced in present day life.
Progress can be made on anxiety when we realise the fear is attributable not to the original stimulus itself - but what we thought it meant. Once we learn to make the distinction between the two, fear is usually lessened.
Long term relief from anxiety can only be gained once your therapist has the information they need. They may ask about how the fear state happens over time, how it manifests specifically, and your current coping mechanisms.
Find out more about counselling for anxiety, here.
Every relationship goes through ups and downs, as part of the human experience. Contrasting viewpoints can arise as a result of upbringing, religion, schooling, or even simple generational differences. All of these can cause seemingly insurmountable issues, without help.
Marriages or civil partnerships can come under strain from issues like contrasting interests, differing priorities, and disagreements about what's important in life.
Tackling relationship issues in counselling is often the first time couples have seriously spoken to each other about what they truly want from life, and what they expect from each other.
It often takes an impartial counsellor to help both parties in the relationship see the world from the other's perspective.
Sometimes a therapist can assist this understanding by helping you see how current patterns, relate to the past, and the previous episodes in life that each partner brings to the relationship.
Whilst we would all like to be able to improve our relationships without help, a private counsellor has the training and skills necessary to help you make noticeable improvements in daily life.
We discuss relationship counselling and marriage counselling options in more detail here.
Or, to arrange relationship counselling now, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or ask for a callback, on the form opposite. We'll ring you back at a convenient time.
We usually associate bereavement with the passing of a loved one, or a pet. But we all experience loss differently, and to differing degrees, depending on what the loss relates to. Substantial emotional symptoms can result from (e.g.) loss of function due to retirement, loss of purpose when children move out, or loss of contact with children, when separating due to divorce.
Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. Sometimes grieving can take over, and dominate the rest of life, in a prolonged state of emotional loss called complicated grieving disorder.
Whether for long or short term grief issues, grief counselling can provide essential support that is often unavailable from other sources.
Get more info on our main grief counselling page, here.
Or, to speak with a counsellor to set sessions up - ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Anger results from a sense of values being broken, or boundaries being impeded upon.
Excessive anger often results from an excess of internal "rules" or beliefs, making it easy for them to be broken, and it therefore becomes easy to trigger a state of anger.
Anger management teaches practical tools and techniques to manage anger or rage episodes in day-to-day life.
Anger counselling aims to help understand the root cause of the anger better, in order to overcome the pattern of angry behaviour and feelings in your life.
It may be that for one individual, both counselling and anger management are suitable for different stages of the individual's journey. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
Find out more about anger counselling here.
Counselling for anger is available. To book sessions, call direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Tynemouth
A one-off, acute traumatic experience can last only seconds, but the emotional impact can last for years or decades, unless help is sought.
Any event in life that is outside the range of our norms in life - what we believe, what we value, etc, can result in trauma.
Trauma often manifests as a sense of isolation or detachment from life, as if we are looking in at life, but not experiencing it personally.
A traumatic event can be a big, one-off, sudden, shock.
There is however also a lesser known version of trauma, the small t trauma - often a series of repeating minor episodes, nevertheless still resulting in longer term unresolved emotional distress.
A trauma counsellor can help with both types of trauma. Some have additional qualifications to assist with specialist interventions such as EMDR, or NLP techniques that have been effective with trauma sufferers in the past.
Taking the step the get counselling can feel scary at first. But your counsellor has seen and heard emotional complaints of every size and type over their experience.
Get full info on trauma counselling.
To arrange counselling for trauma, or find out if we might work well together, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or request a callback, here.
It's easy to become addicted to something in the course of day-to-day life, without noticing it happening consciously.
If we go through a period of very high stress, it's natural for us to look for ways to ease the pain.
But, if we continue using this means to cope, it can become a habit, and the only way we know how to cope with the problem.
This can be a dangerous time - as too much overuse of one coping mechanism can convince us that the level of stress we're under - is ok.
While most present with an addiction to a substance like alcohol or drugs, an increasing number are developing behavioural addictions which could benefit from counselling, such as collecting or hoarding behaviour, viewing pornography obsessively, or compulsive shopping.
Most importantly, therapy work can help identify why someone is engaging in addiction, and why they keep coming back to it. It can also assist you in developing practical means to cope with the addiction in the short term, while longer term work on the underlying causes continues.
Visit our main addiction counselling page, here or, to ask about addiction counselling, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or request a callback, here.
Beginning The Counselling Journey
Meeting Your Counsellor
The first session is usually used to get to know your counsellor, and they you, and set appropriate expectations for your counselling sessions, for example, frequency, how many, charges, etc.
Some counsellors offer the first session free, to see if you are a good fit together. Check if your first meeting carries standard charges or not.
Have an open and frank discussion with your counsellor at the beginning, so that you see eye to eye on what will happen next. Setting clear expectations like this from the ouset leaves you free to focus on the real work of counselling.
What To Ask A Counsellor Tynemouth
Asking specific questions before beginning work with a counsellor can help avoid wasted time and money.
What if I don't get results?
- Have regular conversations with your therapist to make sure you stay on track toward your goals. Good two-way discussions about the practical sides of counselling ensure there is no risk of ending sessions suddenly and being in a vulnerable place, emotionally.
How long will this take?
- Bear in mind here that this is a very difficult question to answer, with no one solution, as it has so many (very personal) variables and dependencies built in - that are dependent on, for example:
- What comes up during therapy, that needs to be dealt with, that wasn't anticipated beforehand.
- Many more events than anticipated, are contributing toward a current day pattern, and all need resolution before the pattern dissolves or the client feels better.
- All of us move at our own speed in therapy, with the time taken to evaluate events, find better alternatives, and have appropriate insights, varying from one person to another. The only "not normal" approach would be expecting everyone to feel better at the same rate.
Accordingly, event the best therapist, will be giving you only their best opinion, of this question.
Also, bear in mind - a counsellor's job is to help you feel better and process events and meanings better, to result in better emotional feelings and mental health. If the counsellor is under the impression that your sessions are a regular, long-term event, they may help you open up more painful memories or events, with the intention of greater healing possibilities. As you might expect, the more events are opened up, the more they have to be closed down, when treatment completes. Avoid confusion or disagreement around the progress of counselling sessions, by keeping clear communication channels open throughout. This will minimise risk of sessions ending abruptly, with issues undealt with.
Do you have any specialities?
- Perhaps your therapist has worked extensively with a focus on one type of complaint. It's always good to understand the background of your potential therapist, and how that matches your experience, before beginning counselling.
How quickly can I begin?
- Therapists are usually busy people, with little spare time between sessions. Getting logistics sorted out now, will help later.
Therapy Help Tynemouth
Our therapists work independently. Although most of our counsellors are located in the Newcastle area, different counsellors offer therapy at different locations throughout Tyne & Wear, by arrangement.
Arranging Counselling Tynemouth
To check on availability, costs of counselling in Tynemouth, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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