Picking The Right Counsellor Swalwell
Your relationship with your counsellor, is unlike any other.
Your counsellor is privy to aspects of your life, that no-one else is, not even family.
Professionals are used to dealing with life's personal details, but you may not be so used to opening up in this way. The wrong counsellor can mean wasted money and lack of results, as well as reduced motivation.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
Finding the right counsellor means developing a therapeutic association which is based on:
- Safety - First and foremost, we need to feel safe to open up about our concerns, in order to receive the help to overcome them.
- Unconditional Acceptance - If we don't first believe, that what we feel is ok, or acceptable, then it can be difficult moving on from there, toward feeling better. You'll know you may have found the best therapist when they allow you to fully express what's going on, without feeling restricted.
- Partnership - Working together with your counsellor should feel like a partnership. As a client you depend on the therapist to lend insight and perspective on the issue you face. Likewise, the client needs to be fully willing to answer questions and speak their truth, to enable results to be achieved. A two-way understanding is needed, to enable the change you want, to actually happen.
- Consideration - Let understanding and appreciation flow equally between you and your counsellor, to help achieve a stronger counselling relationship. e.g. If the speed of work is causing too much upset, or discomfort, speak to your therapist about slowing down so that you match each other's pace, and expectations. Be assured that the counsellor is guiding you towards a resolution on even the most emotional of issues. Small wins can be the catalyst encouraging longer term gains, as the counselling relationship continues.
- Listening - One of the main counselling tasks is to be a good listener. A counsellor's silence can often be mistaken by the client as boredom or lack of interest. However, an experienced therapist is often ascertaining more from silence, or how the client fills in that silence - than the spoken word. Other times, the therapist may need you to listen - as they guide you towards seeing something from a different perspective. This can be challenging as we have invested a lot of time and energy in our pre-existing beliefs. It's easy to develop a habitual way of responding to certain questions, as we have done so, so many times, over years. Interesting results can be achieved by listening intently to the therapist's question, as though it's the first time you'd heard it.
- Empathy - Everyone, with no exceptions, needs validation in the human experience. It's important to be able to feel that your counsellor is empathetic to your concerns and upsets, understands how and why you feel the way you do, and yet is also willing and able to help lead you to a better place about the issues you're bringing to therapy.
- Enthusiasm - Unfortunately, a lack of energy and optimism are often what's brought us to counselling in the first place. Many of us try to change everything on the outside first, before finally realising the problem is actually inside, not outside. How fast you see results from counselling varies from one individual to another - but it's not a sudden series of overnight wins - more like a gradual campaign of change. An experienced counsellor can use the minor gains made during initial sessions, to help build your confidence that bigger gains are likely, later in the process. Hope can carry us through even the darkest of times in life, and hope is important both in and out of the counselling room. But rather than holding out all hope for fantastic gains of huge magnitude, take faith and joy in the small steps during your counselling journey too, because they point you to other realisations you wouldn't otherwise have made.
- Trust - The inner child, in all of us, seeks to protect us above all else. If the environment is not supportive of vulnerable issues surfacing, they will not be allowed to do so. No matter how reasonable our feelings may be to an outsider, we almost always feel some element of shame, guilt, or similar, about the fact that we have these feelings at all. More personal hurts can be healed by working with a qualified counsellor, than by attempting to heal ourselves. Have confidence that your counsellor sees the bigger picture map of where you want to go, but is also adept enough to help you heal the small hurts along the way, too. However, if the counsellor always agreed with you, they would be a very well paid friend...correct? Their job is different. Part of their role is to help you question the meanings you have assigned to certain events - in order to help you feel better about them. The short term discomfort of having our model of the world challenged must be offset against the potential emotional gains to be made, and the skill of the therapist in guiding you there. Sometimes better results can be obtained by seeking out a counsellor you've already worked with in the past, or someone who understands your issues well, before you begin sessions.
- Insights - The professional status of a counsellor, and their detachment from your personal circumstances, means they gain nothing from telling you what you want to hear. Part of what you're paying a therapist for, is their ability to highlight big issues, and help you work through them. Having the insight to see what meanings need to be changed, to feel better, is something best left to the professionals. Your long term mental health can make great gains, where these fine distinctions are clearly recognised.
There are not many ailments which themselves, make it difficult for us to get professional help to remedy them - but depression is one of them.
Counselling can help identify and deal with the underlying issues and thinking patterns - your counsellor should help you recognise contributing issues and maintaining factors.
Other mental health options beyond counselling such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy have also proven effective for depression and are widely used in the NHS.
There's more info on depression, here.
Or, to enquire about counselling for depression in Swalwell, contact us direct using the link below.
The root of anxiety is often based in our learned associations - a repeated experience of negative reinforcement with something specific, can become a more generalised problem later in life, without realising.
In counselling you should be able to identify the roots of where the anxiety has started, and get help to overcome the day to day impact anxiety has in your life.
Sometimes anxiety only occurs in very specific situations. These can be associated with just one event in the past (if traumatic) enough, where we've learned to fear a certain set of circumstances or events.
A counsellor can help you unearth where such an association may lie, and to view it from a different perspective, to help ease current day to day life.
Anxiety can be tackled with a variety of approaches in the counselling room, including EMDR, working on the original trauma, or deconditioning the associated experience.
Overcoming fear usually means giving your therapist the background information and allowing them to help guide you toward the best solution.
More info about counselling for anxiety is available on our main page here.
Relationship Counselling Swalwell
From time to time we all have difficulties in relationships, whether this is a romantic relationship or not. Contrasting viewpoints can arise as a result of upbringing, religion, schooling, or even simple generational differences. All of these can cause seemingly insurmountable issues, without help.
Romantic relationships will always involve disagreements, over everything from the mundane routine of daily life, to one-off incidents, like infidelity.
Both people in a relationship can benefit, either from acute help for an urgent relationship difficulty, or ongoing work on relationship communication and interaction.
Relationship counselling can assist you both to see where the communication difficulties lie, and how to navigate them.
In relationships, we are often seeking out a partner (unconsciously) to satisfy unmet needs of the past, or to resolve an issue we've had from a previous relationship. We don't realise this on a conscious level, of course.
Finding your way around these issues can be tricky without experienced help.
We discuss relationship counselling and marriage counselling options in more detail here.
To get started with relationship counselling, ring Truth Counselling Newcastle direct on 0191 580 3700.
We usually think of a friend or loved one dying, when we think of bereavement and grief. But, loss can also occur in many other forms, too. Substantial emotional symptoms can result from (e.g.) loss of function due to retirement, loss of purpose when children move out, or loss of contact with children, when separating due to divorce.
It's easy for some to feel confused, or detached, from grieving initially, until the reality of the loss begins to surface in their life. Others are stuck in a longer term pattern of grief which can be harmful in it's own way.
Whether you've been suffering over a long term period with chronic grief issues, or lost something or someone only recently, bereavement counselling can help you identify the difference between appropriate grieving and unhealthy levels of grief, as well as practical coping mechanism and supports to use.
Get more info on our main grief counselling page, here.
To arrange sessions of grief counselling, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700 and we'll get things moving.
Anger is often the result of one of our most basic beliefs or values being contradicted.
If internal beliefs, or model of the world, is too restrictive, it can become all to easy to shatter internal ideas about how the world should be, thus resulting in an angry outburst.
Periodic angry episodes happen to us all, but more frequent or uncontrollable anger is more likely to require intervention and therapeutic help.
Rather than manage symptoms alone, counselling for anger issues is more likely to help by analysing how previous events in life have led to a pattern of angry behaviour, over time.
Both are appropriate for different individuals, at different times, depending on needs and circumstances.
More info on anger counselling options is available here.
Our therapists can normally help with counselling for anger issues. To check on costs and ask questions, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
One-off experiences can seem harmless at the time, but depending on how we process them, can results in mental ill-health later.
A traumatic experience can be anything which sufficiently breaks one's "model of the world" - the beliefs, values, and perceptions we have about how the world works, differences between right and wrong, etc.
Breaking these norms of experience can result in trauma - and feelings of isolation, loss of appetite, lack of socialising, dissociation and lack of interest in life.
Trauma is usually thought of as one-off, traumatic events, which we typically associate with war veterans, victims of crime, or domestic abuse, for example.
However trauma can also be much smaller, repeated episodes of emotional distress which, while no individual episode could be considered hugely traumatic, cumulatively add up over time, to aggregated emotional distress and difficulty.
A trauma counsellor can help with both types of trauma. Some have additional qualifications to assist with specialist interventions such as EMDR, or NLP techniques that have been effective with trauma sufferers in the past.
By its very nature, trauma work needs an attentive and sympathetic counsellor.
Get full info on trauma counselling.
To get your trauma counselling questions answered, ring us direct, on 0191 580 3700.
Addiction Counselling Swalwell
While coping with the busy-ness of every day life, it's easy to develop a dependence on a substance or, behaviour, without noticing.
Sometimes, when going through exceptional stress, we adopt a certain way to cope, as a one-off means to feel better.
But, if we continue using this means to cope, it can become a habit, and the only way we know how to cope with the problem.
With too much substance or behaviour abuse comes rationalisation - the belief that the level of stress we're dealing with is now normal - when in fact it is not.
Counselling can assist also in cases of non-substance related addiction, such as obsessive cleaning, or collecting things.
Counselling can help gain understanding on the underlying causal issues behind a pattern of behaviour in life. While long term progress takes time, a counsellor can assist you in short term gains by helping you access the right support at times you feel triggered.
Visit our main addiction counselling page, here or, to ask about addiction counselling, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or request a callback, here.
Getting Started With Counselling
How It Works
The first session is usually used to get to know your counsellor, and they you, and set appropriate expectations for your counselling sessions, for example, frequency, how many, charges, etc.
Some counsellors offer the first session free, to see if you are a good fit together. It's worth enquiring in advance as to the exact costs of the initial session, as many therapists treat it differently, depending on their individual circumstances.
What do you expect from counselling? Are you looking for the shortest possible fix? Or a longer exploration of underlying issues? Set the right expectations, before you begin. If this is done at the start of the counselling relationship, it leaves the rest of the sessions to deal only with the actual counselling work, and not the practicalities.
Get Answers For These Important Questions
Asking specific questions before beginning work with a counsellor can help avoid wasted time and money.
How likely is it that I don't feel better after counselling?
- Have regular conversations with your therapist to make sure you stay on track toward your goals. Good two-way discussions about the practical sides of counselling ensure there is no risk of ending sessions suddenly and being in a vulnerable place, emotionally.
How many sessions should this issue take, in your experience?
- This is a how long is a piece of string question, with no real answer, except the following dependencies:
- Other, emotionally related, problems, that get in the way of treating the main issue, and therefore must be treated first.
- A behavioural pattern you seek to dissolve or resolve, has many more contributing events from the past, than originally expected, and all need to be resolved to dissolve the behavioural pattern
- Two individuals can be attempting to overcome the same event. One takes much longer/shorter time than the other to achieve insights, and feel better. This is the human experience. Expecting anything different would not be appropriate.
For all these reasons, don't expect a concrete answer to this question - even a very experienced therapist will be giving you their best estimate, before therapy begins - there is no more accurate information available.
In terms of timescales, you both need to allow enough time to open up, access, and feel better about painful long term memories. A longer time frame commitment from you, gives the therapist greater confidence in opening up longer term issues for work, they otherwise wouldn't do, with only a shorter time frame available. Looking at these more difficult events can take a longer time period. It's important to communicate clearly throughout counselling sessions, to make sure misunderstandings don't occur.
Do you have any specialities?
- Perhaps your therapist has worked extensively with a focus on one type of complaint. Getting answers like these will help you develop a sense of whether you and your counsellor will work well together, before you begin.
What is your availability?
- Naturally each counsellor's diary is different, and while you might have found a good person-to-person match, don't forget to check availability.
Counsellors Available In Swalwell
Truth Counselling therapists work independently, and take care of their own diaries. We can usually offer counselling sessions at most locations throughout Tyne & Wear, including Swalwell, by arrangement.
Getting Started With Counselling In Swalwell
To check on availability, costs of counselling in Swalwell, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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