Selecting The Most Appropriate Talk Therapist Killingworth
Counselling can be an intimidating experience, for those experiencing it for the first time.
The relationship between you and your counsellor, is a private one.
Even though the counsellor hears these aspects of people's lives every day, trust needs to be developed between you, before it's easy to feel comfortable. A strong counselling relationship can significantly change your outlook and perspective on key areas of life - it's important to get it right.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
Finding the right counsellor means developing a therapeutic association which is based on:
- Secure - A counselling room should be somewhere secure - a refuge from the outside world and its concerns, if we are to feel comfortable revealing very personal aspects of ourselves.
- Unconditional Acceptance - If we don't first believe, that what we feel is ok, or acceptable, then it can be difficult moving on from there, toward feeling better. The right counsellor will help pace the feelings and experiences you're describing, while allowing you to express all the associated feelings, untethered.
- Partnership - Working together with your counsellor should feel like a partnership. As clients, we look to the professional in the room, to help gain new insights, and help us change our mind about the events of our lives. Likewise, the client needs to be fully willing to answer questions and speak their truth, to enable results to be achieved. A two-way understanding is needed, to enable the change you want, to actually happen.
- Equality - Mutual understanding and appreciation is required throughout your counselling session and should underline all your work in the therapy room. e.g. Achieving results too quickly can actually be a bad thing!...if it causes too much discomfort. Be willing to change pace to match your counsellor, within reason. Likewise, as the client, a healthy respect should be maintained for the counsellor to guide you towards an appropriate resolution for each issue, no matter how painful that may be, in the short term. When you've been able to overcome a few small issues after starting out with your counsellor, confidence can grow.
- Interested & Attentful - Professional therapists learn extensively on the art and benefits of listening closely during counselling sessions. Attention should be paid by the counsellor, to what the client says, but more importantly, what is also not said - as context, and non-verbal cues can often speak more about the meaning a client is giving to a word or phrase - than the words themselves. Likewise, as the client, you need to willing to listen to the context or perspective the therapist is attempting to help you see, even if emotions are high, and focus is difficult. Rather than giving your rote-learned responses to your therapists questions, try to do your own active listening, instead. But being truly ready to listen to a counsellor's question, afresh, as if it's the first time you've heard it, can yield insights that were not possible in the past.
- Empathy - Everyone, with no exceptions, needs validation in the human experience. Does your counsellor bring the human elements to therapy? Empathy, validation, and understanding are the only starting point that allow better interpretations of old events, to flourish.
- Enthusiasm - Unfortunately, a lack of energy and optimism are often what's brought us to counselling in the first place. Most commonly we've tried everything we can, on our own, to feel better, but were unable. How fast you see results from counselling varies from one individual to another - but it's not a sudden series of overnight wins - more like a gradual campaign of change. An experienced counsellor can use the minor gains made during initial sessions, to help build your confidence that bigger gains are likely, later in the process. Being hopeful about the future is important, no matter how negative our current circumstances may seem. Try to find a counsellor who helps you feel hopeful about the process, and the journey, from the outset.
- Trust - The inner child, in all of us, seeks to protect us above all else. If the environment is not supportive of vulnerable issues surfacing, they will not be allowed to do so. Counselling usually involves revealing extremely personal feelings that we feel vulnerable about. More personal hurts can be healed by working with a qualified counsellor, than by attempting to heal ourselves. An experienced therapist is equally skilled at navigating both the bigger picture of where the therapy is going, but also the smaller picture of where you're at now. However, the therapist will not always be accommodating, like a friend. Feeling better means giving different meanings to old events - this means challenging you on the conclusions you've made, and the beliefs you hold. Our instinct, when we feel attacked in this way, is to retaliate - but be assured that these challenges are well intentioned, and are there for the purpose of helping you heal. Looking for a counsellor with more long term experience can help.
- Insightful - An external counsellor can be detached from your day to day life - a counsellor is not your friend, and has no investment in pacifying you with total and unequivocal acceptance - (s)he has the impartiality and detachment needed to help you confront your biggest issues head-on, in a way that friends would let slip by, for the sake of not causing a fuss. A trained counsellor can tell the difference between challenging you on an opinion or conclusion that may not be worthwhile, as opposed to helping you look differently at an event that can have a positive impact on your overall mental health. The difference is priceless, in the emotional peace a client experiences, over time.
Depression is debilitating in that it is one of the few issues in life where the issue itself can prevent us from getting help for the issue - depression can stop us getting the help we need.
Counselling can help with both short term and chronic depression, helping you identify and correct the day to day thinking patterns as well as understand the root cause.
Depression can also respond well to other modalities and approaches, and your Doctor or medical professional may advise on exercise, dietary, and other changes that may help.
Get more info about counselling for depression.
Or, to enquire about counselling for depression in Killingworth, contact us direct using the link below.
Anxiety Counselling Killingworth
Although not always the case, the main driver of anxiety, can be conditioning, rather than beliefs. This means, an association we've developed attached to a certain set of circumstances or events, that we've developed unconsciously.
A counsellor can help you identify how the past contributes to a current day pattern of anxiety in your life, and how to work on it, so that it produces less of an overt reaction in day-to-day life.
More specific anxiety such as acute episodes of panic or panic attacks, also have their roots often in the past, perhaps with a one-off specific experience, or association to an event, that we don't consciously realise.
Getting the help of a therapist can assist you in recognising where a previous association to fear may lie, and how to see it differently. This may help with anxiety experienced current day.
Anxiety can be tackled with a variety of approaches in the counselling room, including EMDR, working on the original trauma, or deconditioning the associated experience.
Long term relief from anxiety can only be gained once your therapist has the information they need. They may ask about how the fear state happens over time, how it manifests specifically, and your current coping mechanisms.
Counselling help for anxiety is available. Call us direct on 0191 580 3700 to arrange.
From time to time we all have difficulties in relationships, whether this is a romantic relationship or not. Contrasting viewpoints can arise as a result of upbringing, religion, schooling, or even simple generational differences. All of these can cause seemingly insurmountable issues, without help.
Relationships with your significant other can be particularly challenging as their upbringing will consistently conflict with your own, in most cases.
Refreshing your ability to relate to each other, in a healthy way, where understanding is clear and meaning is retained, can make real differences for both individuals.
It often takes an impartial counsellor to help both parties in the relationship see the world from the other's perspective.
Many times we don't understand our partner as we don't understand their past. The therapist can assist in helping each individual discover the whys behind the day to day behaviours they see, and how to navigate them.
Even just a few insights from a private relationship therapist can give tremendous progress in how you experience your relationship.
Counselling for your relationship or marriage is available.
Or, to arrange relationship counselling now, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or ask for a callback, on the form opposite. We'll ring you back at a convenient time.
We usually think of a friend or loved one dying, when we think of bereavement and grief. But, loss can also occur in many other forms, too. Substantial emotional symptoms can result from (e.g.) loss of function due to retirement, loss of purpose when children move out, or loss of contact with children, when separating due to divorce.
Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. Others become caught in a prolonged state of grieving, unable to continue functional life without feeling the deep emotions of loss acutely during everyday life.
Whether you've been suffering over a long term period with chronic grief issues, or lost something or someone only recently, bereavement counselling can help you identify the difference between appropriate grieving and unhealthy levels of grief, as well as practical coping mechanism and supports to use.
Full info on grief counselling is available here.
To arrange sessions of grief counselling, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700 and we'll get things moving.
Anger results from a sense of values being broken, or boundaries being impeded upon.
Anger can also be caused by too many "shoulds" in life, making it easy for self or others to break self-set rules, thus resulting in anger.
Anger management teaches practical tools and techniques to manage anger or rage episodes in day-to-day life.
Managing anger practically like this, can help for the short term, but for long term resolution, therapeutic intervention is usually needed to understand the past, and how it has led to current day feelings of anger, as a habit.
Both are appropriate for different individuals, at different times, depending on needs and circumstances.
Get the full info on counselling options for anger, here.
Private anger therapy is now available to book. To check on costs and ask questions, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
In reality, most of us are unaware, at a conscious level, of how an event can affect us, emotionally.
Some traumatic events can keep us in a state of fight/flight until we're able to process them in a more gentle way.
Where trauma is unresolved, an individual will often experience lack of interest in life, detachment, nightmares, and lack of social interaction.
A traumatic event can be a big, one-off, sudden, shock.
Smaller episodes of emotional distress are often dismissed as irrelevant and potentially less deserving of treatment. However the long term effects can be just as damaging as very obvious trauma.
Trauma counselling is equally suitable for both these types of distress.
By its very nature, trauma work needs an attentive and sympathetic counsellor.
Get full info on trauma counselling.
To ask about pricing and availability for trauma counselling, ring us direct at a convenient time, on 0191 580 3700.
While coping with the busy-ness of every day life, it's easy to develop a dependence on a substance or, behaviour, without noticing.
e.g. We can develop a pattern of over-eating, in response to a period of high stress. It's natural for us to reach for some way to reduce the emotional discomfort we feel, in situations like this.
But, continuing to abuse this mechanism we've found, over time, can lead to an unhealthy dependence.
Eventually we can end up believing that not only is the repeated use of the substance or behaviour ok, but that there is no unusual stress anymore - the stress of the original event has become normal.
Counselling can assist also in cases of non-substance related addiction, such as obsessive cleaning, or collecting things.
Counselling can help you overcome addiction by first understanding the benefit you get, from the substance or behaviour itself. It can also assist you in developing practical means to cope with the addiction in the short term, while longer term work on the underlying causes continues.
Visit our main addiction counselling page, here or, to ask about addiction counselling, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or request a callback, here.
Arranging Counselling For The First Time
Meeting Your Counsellor
It's important agree the parameters of your work together, from the outset.
Private counselling costs can vary wildly, so do check beforehand about specifics. It's common for initial sessions to be a reduced rate, or sometimes, free. The initial session could be considered a regular session for cost purposes too. Check in advance.
Normally when beginning counselling, you and your therapist will agree on the goals and outcome you want to achieve, and set a timeline for treatment, and how many sessions you'll complete together. Setting clear expectations like this from the ouset leaves you free to focus on the real work of counselling.
Top Questions To Ask
Answers to the following questions can help you track down the most appropriate therapist for your needs.
What happens if I don't feel better?
- Frequent discussions with your therapist will help keep things on track. Good two-way discussions about the practical sides of counselling ensure there is no risk of ending sessions suddenly and being in a vulnerable place, emotionally.
How long should therapy for (your issue) last?
- Understand that this is a question with no one fixed, correct, answer. You're looking here for more of how the counsellor reacts, rather than the content of the answer. In reality, duration will depend on multiple factors:
- Other, emotionally related, problems, that get in the way of treating the main issue, and therefore must be treated first.
- A behavioural pattern you seek to dissolve or resolve, has many more contributing events from the past, than originally expected, and all need to be resolved to dissolve the behavioural pattern
- Each individual processes emotions and changes of meaning, at a different rate, that is unique to them. There is no one fixed "speed" of emotional healing, and to expect this would be unreasonable.
For all these reasons, don't expect a concrete answer to this question - even a very experienced therapist will be giving you their best estimate, before therapy begins - there is no more accurate information available.
In terms of timescales, you both need to allow enough time to open up, access, and feel better about painful long term memories. If the counsellor is under the impression that your sessions are a regular, long-term event, they may help you open up more painful memories or events, with the intention of greater healing possibilities. Naturally, deeper work requires more time. Where possible, try to avoid stopping counselling sessions unexpectedly, as doing so can raise the risk of attempting to deal with open or raw emotions without appropriate support.
What is your background in counselling?
- Some counsellors can work a lifetime in only one problem area - making them very specialist - and sometimes more sought after. Making sure you and your therapist are a match, upfront, makes sense, and could prevent a costly mistake.
What is your availability?
- Tracking down a specialist with expertise in your issue is one thing - but are they free to work with you? Don't forget to check.
Counselling Sessions Killingworth
Truth Counselling's counsellors work independently. Central Newcastle is home to most of our therapists, however we can usually arrange sessions in surrounding Tyne & Wear locations, like Killingworth. Please ask if unsure.
Getting Started With Counselling In Killingworth
Get an idea of costs, and availability, by ringing us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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