Selecting The Best Talk Therapist Lamesley
Counselling can be an intimidating experience, for those experiencing it for the first time.
You will likely be sharing details of your life, that you wouldn't normally share with anyone else.
Even though the counsellor hears these aspects of people's lives every day, trust needs to be developed between you, before it's easy to feel comfortable. Making sure you've picked the right counsellor can mean the difference between a few short sessions with an unsuccessful outcome; and lasting positive change in your life.
Finding The Right Counsellor
A great counselling relationship, with appropriate boundaries, will be based on:
- Secure - Feeling safe is a pre-requisite, before we can open up and reveal personal aspects of our worries, to anyone.
- Acceptance - Without the confidence that whatever we say, whatever interpretation we've given of a certain event, will be accepted, it can be hard to reveal much of our feelings, in order to get over them. With the right help, you'll feel like your therapist is able to handle whatever comes up, no matter how you express it.
- Synergy - Good input from both you and your therapist, co-ordinated properly, is important. As a client you depend on the therapist to lend insight and perspective on the issue you face. Equally, the counsellor depends on you to be as honest and open as possible, or they have nothing to work with, and little progress can be made. A mutually supportive, collaborative environment can help you get the change you want quickly, with the minimum of discomfort.
- Consideration - Let understanding and appreciation flow equally between you and your counsellor, to help achieve a stronger counselling relationship. e.g. Achieving results too quickly can actually be a bad thing!...if it causes too much discomfort. Be willing to change pace to match your counsellor, within reason. Be assured that the counsellor is guiding you towards a resolution on even the most emotional of issues. Once you have developed a few positive experiences with a counsellor, of revealing a small issue, and successfully working through it, trust can grow, mutual respect can widen, and motivation can increase, making further progress easier.
- Active Listener - Thorough counsellors are accomplished at active listening. Understanding non-verbal communication during a session is often just as important for a counsellor, as words spoken aloud. Ensure you are willing to listen to the counsellor when they do talk - as they could be attempting to help you give a more forgiving meaning, to a troublesome event, and thus ease your pain. We all have our stock responses for certain questions, that have become our usual responses, over the years. However, concentrating on the questions asked, and providing answers that are unfiltered, and represent your true thoughts and feelings, will help you achieve results noticeably better, than simply responding with what you think you should respond with.
- Empathy - Everyone, with no exceptions, needs validation in the human experience. A great counsellor can help you feel like your concerns are warranted and valid, and also help you realise even better meanings that could be drawn from the same events, that help you feel better.
- Enthusiasm - Unfortunately, a lack of energy and optimism are often what's brought us to counselling in the first place. Many of us try to change everything on the outside first, before finally realising the problem is actually inside, not outside. Results from counselling take time - we are dealing often with long term or deep seated issues, that need solid detective work, before beginning the process of change. An experienced counsellor can use the minor gains made during initial sessions, to help build your confidence that bigger gains are likely, later in the process. Hope can carry us through even the darkest of times in life, and hope is important both in and out of the counselling room. What experience does your counsellor have with your issue specifically? How have they helped others, like you, in the past? Use these questions to decide if this counsellor's experience matches your expectations.
- Trust - Knowing that, when we do put forth our concerns, we can trust a counsellor to assist in the most appropriate way, no matter how deep our emotions or feelings, can allow even the deepest wounds to heal. No matter how reasonable our feelings may be to an outsider, we almost always feel some element of shame, guilt, or similar, about the fact that we have these feelings at all. Working with a counsellor as a neutral observer, can help us access deeper hurts that are ready to heal, as compared to attempting to work with someone we know, or even, on our own. Trust is required that (I) the counsellor can guide the entire counselling journey with you and (ii) they have the skills and competence required to help you resolve each individual hurt, too. However, the therapist will not always be accommodating, like a friend. Expect your beliefs, values, and opinions, to be shaken up, and looked at closely - this is where much of the healing potential lies. Instinctively, having our beliefs and opinions challenged can feel uncomfortable - and we must be willing to trust that the counsellor has positive intentions, in leading us to a better meaning, and thus, better feelings, about it. Sometimes better results can be obtained by seeking out a counsellor you've already worked with in the past, or someone who understands your issues well, before you begin sessions.
- Perception - The counsellor has the acumen, vision, and understanding to help you identify and remedy, areas where a better perspective on the event(s), may help. A trained counsellor can tell the difference between challenging you on an opinion or conclusion that may not be worthwhile, as opposed to helping you look differently at an event that can have a positive impact on your overall mental health. The difference is priceless, in the emotional peace a client experiences, over time.
Depression Counselling Lamesley
Depression is debilitating in that it is one of the few issues in life where the issue itself can prevent us from getting help for the issue - depression can stop us getting the help we need.
Counselling can help with both short term and chronic depression, helping you identify and correct the day to day thinking patterns as well as understand the root cause.
Your doctor can advise on other depression treatment options beyond counselling, such as other mental health approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or changes to exercise and nutrition. All options should be considered.
Our main page for depression has more information.
Or, to enquire about counselling for depression in Lamesley, contact us direct using the link below.
Anxiety is sometimes the product of learned conditioned responses - this means our response to a certain trigger has become routine in our behaviour. This has later become a problem, often when the response generalises out to other areas of life.
A counsellor can help you identify how the past contributes to a current day pattern of anxiety in your life, and how to work on it, so that it produces less of an overt reaction in day-to-day life.
More specific anxiety such as acute episodes of panic or panic attacks, also have their roots often in the past, perhaps with a one-off specific experience, or association to an event, that we don't consciously realise.
Deconditioning work can be undertaken with a therapist's help, to help untangle the meanings attached to an original event, and thus feel better about it - and less anxious.
The therapist can utilise a variety of techniques to tackle anxiety, including deconditioning, work on associated past events, or desensitisation, depending on specifics.
Long term relief from anxiety can only be gained once your therapist has the information they need. They may ask about how the fear state happens over time, how it manifests specifically, and your current coping mechanisms.
Find out more about counselling for anxiety, here.
Relationship Counselling Lamesley
Relationships can be the most difficult aspect of life to navigate, as they bring opposing viewpoints and models of the world, into close contrast, frequently. We all experience relationship difficulties, because, quite simply, we are all individuals, with unique backgrounds, history, upbringing, and values.
Relationships with your significant other can be particularly challenging as their upbringing will consistently conflict with your own, in most cases.
Both people in a relationship can benefit, either from acute help for an urgent relationship difficulty, or ongoing work on relationship communication and interaction.
Understanding and anticipating what your partner wants and expects from the relationship, needs daily work, and most couples are not clear on this.
In relationships, we are often seeking out a partner (unconsciously) to satisfy unmet needs of the past, or to resolve an issue we've had from a previous relationship. We don't realise this on a conscious level, of course.
Even just a few insights from a private relationship therapist can give tremendous progress in how you experience your relationship.
To find out more about relationship counselling, see our main page here.
To get started with relationship counselling, ring Truth Counselling Newcastle direct on 0191 580 3700.
Bereavement Counselling Lamesley
Loss in life is usually related to a loved one or friend passing away. The extent of our grieving can differ though, from one individual to another. Substantial emotional symptoms can result from (e.g.) loss of function due to retirement, loss of purpose when children move out, or loss of contact with children, when separating due to divorce.
It's easy for some to feel confused, or detached, from grieving initially, until the reality of the loss begins to surface in their life. Others are stuck in a longer term pattern of grief which can be harmful in it's own way.
Grief counselling is available to help you begin to process long or short term grief, in a supportive, structured, and safe space.
Full info on grief counselling is available here.
Or, to speak with a counsellor to set sessions up - ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Anger Counselling Lamesley
Anger can manifest emotional, or in some cases, physical outbursts of rage, fuelled by feelings of injustice, boundaries being breached, or a personal hurt.
Excessive anger often results from an excess of internal "rules" or beliefs, making it easy for them to be broken, and it therefore becomes easy to trigger a state of anger.
Irregular bouts of anger can crop up during particularly stressful times or life events, and can be managed temporarily by attempting to alleviate stress in general.
Therapy for anger is quite different - and focuses instead on detective work around past events in life, family life, relationship issues, etc, as a means to get to the root of the anger habit.
While practical tools and in-the-moment techniques are enough for many, it may benefit those looking for a longer term solution to focus on counselling instead of anger management.
See our main page on anger counselling.
Our therapists can normally help with counselling for anger issues. To ask a question or check on availability, you can reach us on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Lamesley
In reality, most of us are unaware, at a conscious level, of how an event can affect us, emotionally.
A traumatic experience can be anything which sufficiently breaks one's "model of the world" - the beliefs, values, and perceptions we have about how the world works, differences between right and wrong, etc.
Breaking these norms of experience can result in trauma - and feelings of isolation, loss of appetite, lack of socialising, dissociation and lack of interest in life.
We often have a fixed idea about what trauma is, with a vision of a helpless person suffering a huge incident.
There is however also a lesser known version of trauma, the small t trauma - often a series of repeating minor episodes, nevertheless still resulting in longer term unresolved emotional distress.
Trauma counselling can help with both short term, one-off, obvious traumatic experiences, as well as longer term issues accrued over time.
While attending counselling for the first time can be intimidating, your counsellor has done this many times before. Generally, there is nothing you can say that would surprise them or they have not heard before. The counselling room is the one place it's safe to open up and feel heard.
Our main page on trauma counselling has more info.
To ask about pricing and availability for trauma counselling, ring us direct at a convenient time, on 0191 580 3700.
Addiction to a substance or behaviour, usually happens incrementally, over time, and outside our conscious awareness.
e.g. We can develop a pattern of over-eating, in response to a period of high stress. It's natural for us to reach for some way to reduce the emotional discomfort we feel, in situations like this.
It's surprisingly easy to continue using this one coping mechanism in this way, and thus end up using it as the *only* coping mechanism, whenever stress arises.
This can be a dangerous time - as too much overuse of one coping mechanism can convince us that the level of stress we're under - is ok.
Counselling can assist also in cases of non-substance related addiction, such as obsessive cleaning, or collecting things.
Counselling can help you overcome addiction by first understanding the benefit you get, from the substance or behaviour itself. Addiction therapy normally includes work on both longer term patterns of addiction as well as trigger situations in the present moment of day to day life.
For advice on addiction counselling options, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Arranging Counselling For The First Time
How It Works
How often do you expect counselling sessions? What progress do you expect to make? Define fast and slow progress? These expectations can cary widely, so make sure you and your therapist agree on the details, from the outset.
Charges & Payment
Pricing varies, especially for private counselling. Most therapists offer a complimentary phone chat, to see if you two might work well. The initial session could be considered a regular session for cost purposes too. Check in advance.
Agreeing On Progress Goals
Have an open and frank discussion with your counsellor at the beginning, so that you see eye to eye on what will happen next. Dealing with these issues up front makes it easier to get on with the job at hand, later.
Get Answers For These Important Questions
Getting answers to well chosen queries up front will help you make the right decision about what counsellor to choose.
What action do we take if I don't get any benefit from counselling?
- Have regular conversations with your therapist to make sure you stay on track toward your goals. Good two-way discussions about the practical sides of counselling ensure there is no risk of ending sessions suddenly and being in a vulnerable place, emotionally.
How long will this take?
- Understand that this is a question with no one fixed, correct, answer. You're looking here for more of how the counsellor reacts, rather than the content of the answer. In reality, duration will depend on multiple factors:
- Interrupting elements of mental health that present during treatment, and impede progress on the main issue we're attempting to tackle during therapy.
- More past events than expected, may be contributing to the pattern of the problem you're experiencing in the here and now. These events take time to process, and feel better about, and can slow the progress of the main issue you went to counselling for. Nevertheless, they are usually necessary to overcome, for best results.
- Each individual processes emotions and changes of meaning, at a different rate, that is unique to them. Expecting anything different would not be appropriate.
Accordingly, event the best therapist, will be giving you only their best opinion, of this question.
Also, bear in mind - a counsellor's job is to help you feel better and process events and meanings better, to result in better emotional feelings and mental health. A longer time frame commitment from you, gives the therapist greater confidence in opening up longer term issues for work, they otherwise wouldn't do, with only a shorter time frame available. Looking at these more difficult events can take a longer time period. It's important to communicate clearly throughout counselling sessions, to make sure misunderstandings don't occur.
What is your background in counselling?
- Some counsellors have historical experience or specialist qualifications in particular areas of therapy, such as trauma or PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. Being prudent with pre-purchase questions like these, will help you ascertain which therapist it's worth taking the counselling journey with.
What is your availability?
- Naturally each counsellor's diary is different, and while you might have found a good person-to-person match, don't forget to check availability.
Therapy Help Lamesley
Our therapists work independently. Although most of our counsellors are located in the Newcastle area, different counsellors offer therapy at different locations throughout Tyne & Wear, by arrangement.
How To Enquire About Counselling
To get started with counselling, or just for an initial chat, we're available on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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