COUNSELLING ROWLANDS GILL
Selecting The Best Counsellor Rowlands Gill
Your relationship with your counsellor, is unlike any other.
You will likely be sharing details of your life, that you wouldn't normally share with anyone else.
Professionals are used to dealing with life's personal details, but you may not be so used to opening up in this way. Making sure you've picked the right counsellor can mean the difference between a few short sessions with an unsuccessful outcome; and lasting positive change in your life.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
A functional counselling relationship, depends upon several key factors:
- Secure - A counselling room should be somewhere secure - a refuge from the outside world and its concerns, if we are to feel comfortable revealing very personal aspects of ourselves.
- Permission - The therapy room should be a safe space where you have permission to express your feelings in a safe and protected environment. With the right help, you'll feel like your therapist is able to handle whatever comes up, no matter how you express it.
- Partnership - Working together with your counsellor should feel like a partnership. Clients need the counsellor to lead the session, set a safe space, and assist with new perspectives needed. However, if you are not 100% open and honest with the therapist, results achieved may be lacking. If you do not fully reveal the info asked of you, it may take longer to achieve the change you want.
- Mutual respect - You & your counsellor require a sense of two-way understanding between you, and a respect for each other, in every element of the counselling relationship. e.g. If the speed of work is causing too much upset, or discomfort, speak to your therapist about slowing down so that you match each other's pace, and expectations. Also bear in mind, that no matter how emotionally painful something may feel in the short term, it's important to trust that the counsellor is leading you towards a comfortable resolution. When you've been able to overcome a few small issues after starting out with your counsellor, confidence can grow.
- Paying Attention - Is your counsellor alert and absorbing your feedback and input during sessions? Understanding non-verbal communication during a session is often just as important for a counsellor, as words spoken aloud. Ensure you are willing to listen to the counsellor when they do talk - as they could be attempting to help you give a more forgiving meaning, to a troublesome event, and thus ease your pain. Rather than giving your rote-learned responses to your therapists questions, try to do your own active listening, instead. But being truly ready to listen to a counsellor's question, afresh, as if it's the first time you've heard it, can yield insights that were not possible in the past.
- Sympathetic - Before beginning to change any one thought pattern, or conclusion we've arrived at, as human beings we need to know that the meaning we arrived at, for certain events, is ok, and acceptable. Does your counsellor bring the human elements to therapy? Empathy, validation, and understanding are the only starting point that allow better interpretations of old events, to flourish.
- Confidence - We don't usually start therapy in a confident place. Most commonly we've tried everything we can, on our own, to feel better, but were unable. The counselling journey is not normally fast - it is a process. Sometimes getting wins from counselling is a combination of small wins initially, plus a lot of faith of greater future gains. Hope can carry us through even the darkest of times in life, and hope is important both in and out of the counselling room. To build hope from the start, ask your counsellor about their previous successes, in cases similar to yours. They won't disclose personal details, but the general picture they give you can help build confidence that this is a journey worth taking.
- Trust - This is very close to safety, as above. Our unconscious mind will generally not reveal anything sensitive unless it feels entirely safe and supported in doing so. No matter how reasonable our feelings may be to an outsider, we almost always feel some element of shame, guilt, or similar, about the fact that we have these feelings at all. More personal hurts can be healed by working with a qualified counsellor, than by attempting to heal ourselves. We need to trust the counsellor not only with the hurt involved in a particular event we're working on, but also to navigate the counselling and healing journey as a whole. The counsellor is not there to be your friend, however. Part of their role is to help you question the meanings you have assigned to certain events - in order to help you feel better about them. Our instinct, when we feel attacked in this way, is to retaliate - but be assured that these challenges are well intentioned, and are there for the purpose of helping you heal. A professional with more specialism in your particular area of concern may help here.
- Insightful - An external counsellor can be detached from your day to day life - a counsellor is not your friend, and has no investment in pacifying you with total and unequivocal acceptance - (s)he has the impartiality and detachment needed to help you confront your biggest issues head-on, in a way that friends would let slip by, for the sake of not causing a fuss. Having the insight to see what meanings need to be changed, to feel better, is something best left to the professionals. Idenitfying such issues can make the difference between fast and effective therapy, as compared to long unproductive sessions, with no end in sight.
Depression is debilitating in that it is one of the few issues in life where the issue itself can prevent us from getting help for the issue - depression can stop us getting the help we need.
Depression can be the result of both unuseful thinking patterns and an ongoing state of helplessness or hopelessness. Counselling can help with both.
Depression can also respond well to other modalities and approaches, and your Doctor or medical professional may advise on exercise, dietary, and other changes that may help.
See more about counselling for depression, here.
Ring us direct on 0191 580 3700 to check on availability and pricing of counselling in Rowlands Gill.
Anxiety Counselling In Rowlands Gill
Anxiety is sometimes the product of learned conditioned responses - this means our response to a certain trigger has become routine in our behaviour. This has later become a problem, often when the response generalises out to other areas of life.
Techniques used by counsellors may help reduce the serverity of the anxiety reaction you're used to, as well as help you understand how the pattern of anxiety has developed.
Counselling can also help with more specific fears, phobias, or episodes of panic, attached to just one episode in the past.
Working on the associations of the past in this way, can often ease the anxiety experienced in present day life.
The therapist can utilise a variety of techniques to tackle anxiety, including deconditioning, work on associated past events, or desensitisation, depending on specifics.
Your counsellor is best placed to guide you through the best options for you, that will provides the greatest relief over time.
Get the full info on counselling for anxiety here.
Every relationship goes through ups and downs, as part of the human experience. Differing backgrounds, values, and even age, can all bring conflicting interests into the open, creating situations that are extremely difficult to navigate, without professional assistance.
Marriages or civil partnerships can come under strain from issues like contrasting interests, differing priorities, and disagreements about what's important in life.
Tackling relationship issues in counselling is often the first time couples have seriously spoken to each other about what they truly want from life, and what they expect from each other.
Relationship counselling can assist you both to see where the communication difficulties lie, and how to navigate them.
Sometimes a therapist can assist this understanding by helping you see how current patterns, relate to the past, and the previous episodes in life that each partner brings to the relationship.
Even just a few insights from a private relationship therapist can give tremendous progress in how you experience your relationship.
Counselling for your relationship or marriage is available.
If you want to get started with counselling for your relationship, get in touch by calling 0191 580 3700, or drop us an email at info ((at)) truthcounsellingnewcastle.co.uk.
The passing of a family member, friend, or pet usually explains an episode of sudden grief or loss. However, loss can be more subtle, yet just as profound, when it manifests differently. A sense of deep grief or loss can result from being unable to continue a favourite hobby, losing a pet project you've been working on for a while, or enforced retirement.
Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. Sometimes grieving can take over, and dominate the rest of life, in a prolonged state of emotional loss called complicated grieving disorder.
Whether for long or short term grief issues, grief counselling can provide essential support that is often unavailable from other sources.
Full info on grief counselling is available here.
Or, to speak with a counsellor to set sessions up - ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Anger results from a sense of values being broken, or boundaries being impeded upon.
Too many internal emotional restrictions, often self-imposed, limit our viewpont as to what is acceptable in life, and exacerbate anger.
Periodic angry episodes happen to us all, but more frequent or uncontrollable anger is more likely to require intervention and therapeutic help.
Managing anger practically like this, can help for the short term, but for long term resolution, therapeutic intervention is usually needed to understand the past, and how it has led to current day feelings of anger, as a habit.
If you cannot attend therapy for practical reasons or don't have enough time, perhaps anger management would be enough. However the time invested in therapeutic work is usually well rewarded.
More info on anger counselling options is available here.
Private anger therapy is now available to book. To check on costs and ask questions, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Trauma/PTSD Counselling Rowlands Gill
A one-off, acute traumatic experience can last only seconds, but the emotional impact can last for years or decades, unless help is sought.
Any event in life that is outside the range of our norms in life - what we believe, what we value, etc, can result in trauma.
Trauma often manifests as a sense of isolation or detachment from life, as if we are looking in at life, but not experiencing it personally.
A traumatic event can be a big, one-off, sudden, shock.
There is however also a lesser known version of trauma, the small t trauma - often a series of repeating minor episodes, nevertheless still resulting in longer term unresolved emotional distress.
Trauma counselling can help with both short term, one-off, obvious traumatic experiences, as well as longer term issues accrued over time.
We understand that seeking a counsellor for this type of work can be unnerving, and it can be especially important to find a counsellor who meets your needs and is sympathetic.
Get full info on trauma counselling.
To ask about pricing and availability for trauma counselling, ring us direct at a convenient time, on 0191 580 3700.
Addiction Counselling Rowlands Gill
While coping with the busy-ness of every day life, it's easy to develop a dependence on a substance or, behaviour, without noticing.
It's easy to establish a dependence on some means to cope, in the face of unusually high stressors, or an event we weren't expecting.
It's surprisingly easy to continue using this one coping mechanism in this way, and thus end up using it as the *only* coping mechanism, whenever stress arises.
Eventually we can end up believing that not only is the repeated use of the substance or behaviour ok, but that there is no unusual stress anymore - the stress of the original event has become normal.
Counselling can assist also in cases of non-substance related addiction, such as obsessive cleaning, or collecting things.
Most importantly, therapy work can help identify why someone is engaging in addiction, and why they keep coming back to it. Addiction therapy normally includes work on both longer term patterns of addiction as well as trigger situations in the present moment of day to day life.
If you're thinking of addiction counselling, get your questions answered on 0191 580 3700.
Your First Counselling Session
How often do you expect counselling sessions? What progress do you expect to make? Define fast and slow progress? These expectations can cary widely, so make sure you and your therapist agree on the details, from the outset.
Private counselling costs can vary wildly, so do check beforehand about specifics. It's common for initial sessions to be a reduced rate, or sometimes, free. Check if your first meeting carries standard charges or not.
Even before therapy begins, you should make it clear what you want to achieve from counselling, how many sessions you expect, and what exactly constitutes a good result, for you personally. Dealing with these issues up front makes it easier to get on with the job at hand, later.
Questions For Your Prospective Counsellor Rowlands Gill
Getting answers to well chosen queries up front will help you make the right decision about what counsellor to choose.
How likely is it that I don't feel better after counselling?
- It's important, throughout the sessions you have, to check in with your therapist about the progress you're making, and your expectations of results and timeline going forward. As well as keeping things moving, this helps the therapist look after you best.
How long should therapy for (your issue) last?
- Understand that this is a question with no one fixed, correct, answer. You're looking here for more of how the counsellor reacts, rather than the content of the answer. In reality, duration will depend on multiple factors:
- Elements from the past, that surface during treatment, that require treatment before the primary complaint can be attended to.
- Inability to predict how many aspects of a given event will require resolution, in what order, and how many times, before feeling emotionally better.
- All of us move at our own speed in therapy, with the time taken to evaluate events, find better alternatives, and have appropriate insights, varying from one person to another. There is no one fixed "speed" of emotional healing, and to expect this would be unreasonable.
It is for all the above reasons, that no therapist, can provide a concrete answer to this question - only what their intuition tells them.
Remember, part of the counsellor's job Is to help you open up painful memories or feelings and re-process them, A longer time frame commitment from you, gives the therapist greater confidence in opening up longer term issues for work, they otherwise wouldn't do, with only a shorter time frame available. Events with greater emotional intensity must be managed carefully. A good therapist will make sure there are no emotional loose ends left, at the end of treatment. If you are not open and honest throughout counselling sessions, it can present the possibility of sessions suddenly coming to an end, when emotions are high, and difficult to manage alone.
Do you have research interests, or a specialism in one particular type of counselling?
- Perhaps your therapist has worked extensively with a focus on one type of complaint. Getting answers like these will help you develop a sense of whether you and your counsellor will work well together, before you begin.
Can I start right away?
- Therapists are usually busy people, with little spare time between sessions. Getting logistics sorted out now, will help later.
Therapy Help Rowlands Gill
Our counsellors are self-employed and independent. Central Newcastle is home to most of our therapists, however we can usually arrange sessions in surrounding Tyne & Wear locations, like Rowlands Gill. Please ask if unsure.
How To Book Counselling Sessions
Get an idea of costs, and availability, by ringing us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
Get Answers Fast:
Get Immediate Answers: