Selecting The Right Talk Therapist Hendon
Your relationship with your counsellor, is unlike any other.
Your counsellor is privy to aspects of your life, that no-one else is, not even family.
Professionals are used to dealing with life's personal details, but you may not be so used to opening up in this way. Making sure you've picked the right counsellor can mean the difference between a few short sessions with an unsuccessful outcome; and lasting positive change in your life.
Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist
A great counselling relationship, with appropriate boundaries, will be based on:
- Secure - A counselling room should be somewhere secure - a refuge from the outside world and its concerns, if we are to feel comfortable revealing very personal aspects of ourselves.
- Approval - A competent therapist should help you feel unconditionally accepted, no matter your feelings you have about a particular event. An experienced talk therapist can "hold the therapeutic space" no matter what trauma or issue arises, and help you navigate it, without feeling judgement or blame.
- Synergy - Good input from both you and your therapist, co-ordinated properly, is important. As a client you depend on the therapist to lend insight and perspective on the issue you face. Equally, the counsellor depends on you to be as honest and open as possible, or they have nothing to work with, and little progress can be made. A mutually supportive, collaborative environment can help you get the change you want quickly, with the minimum of discomfort.
- Equality - Mutual understanding and appreciation is required throughout your counselling session and should underline all your work in the therapy room. e.g. If the speed of work is causing too much upset, or discomfort, speak to your therapist about slowing down so that you match each other's pace, and expectations. Likewise, as the client, a healthy respect should be maintained for the counsellor to guide you towards an appropriate resolution for each issue, no matter how painful that may be, in the short term. Small wins can be the catalyst encouraging longer term gains, as the counselling relationship continues.
- Interested & Attentful - Professional therapists learn extensively on the art and benefits of listening closely during counselling sessions. Attention should be paid by the counsellor, to what the client says, but more importantly, what is also not said - as context, and non-verbal cues can often speak more about the meaning a client is giving to a word or phrase - than the words themselves. Likewise, as the client, you need to willing to listen to the context or perspective the therapist is attempting to help you see, even if emotions are high, and focus is difficult. We often respond to questions with our usual answers, that we routinely give in our normal environment. The counsellor will expect you to do a little active listening of your own, and to be intuitively truthful, in your responses. Your first response, from instinct, is often the right one, in these cases.
- Sympathetic - Before beginning to change any one thought pattern, or conclusion we've arrived at, as human beings we need to know that the meaning we arrived at, for certain events, is ok, and acceptable. A great counsellor can help you feel like your concerns are warranted and valid, and also help you realise even better meanings that could be drawn from the same events, that help you feel better.
- Enthusiasm - Unfortunately, a lack of energy and optimism are often what's brought us to counselling in the first place. We usually need therapy help, because we've tried to overcome the issues ourselves, but without success. Therapy work takes time, and is not a quick fix, nor a one size fits all solution. Take comfort and faith from the smallest of breakthroughs made during a session - and allow it to build your hope of even better breakthroughs, in future sessions. Being hopeful about the future is important, no matter how negative our current circumstances may seem. To build hope from the start, ask your counsellor about their previous successes, in cases similar to yours. They won't disclose personal details, but the general picture they give you can help build confidence that this is a journey worth taking.
- Trust - The inner child, in all of us, seeks to protect us above all else. If the environment is not supportive of vulnerable issues surfacing, they will not be allowed to do so. In counselling, most of us reveal aspects of ourselves and our feelings, we don't reveal to anyone else, even family or loved ones. We can often feel more able to fully open up to a third party professional, someone who is not attached to our family or circumstances. We need to trust the counsellor not only with the hurt involved in a particular event we're working on, but also to navigate the counselling and healing journey as a whole. However, if the counsellor always agreed with you, they would be a very well paid friend...correct? Their job is different. If you're to get progress from therapy, you'll need new perspective on the meanings you've given to previous issues. The therapist will challenge your opinions, to help you arrive at better perspectives. Instinctively, having our beliefs and opinions challenged can feel uncomfortable - and we must be willing to trust that the counsellor has positive intentions, in leading us to a better meaning, and thus, better feelings, about it. Sometimes better results can be obtained by seeking out a counsellor you've already worked with in the past, or someone who understands your issues well, before you begin sessions.
- Insights - The professional status of a counsellor, and their detachment from your personal circumstances, means they gain nothing from telling you what you want to hear. Part of what you're paying a therapist for, is their ability to highlight big issues, and help you work through them. Judgements are required, often very quickly mid-session, in respect of which values or opinions need to be challenged to improve overall mental health, as opposed to those which can do not contribute so much to the bigger picture, or are secondary to other more important goals. A therapist who recognises this quickly, can help you generate desired changes, quickly.
Depression Counselling In Hendon
Depression is an issue that presents us with a unique challenge - how does someone with depression, who feels unworthy of help, who may believe they cannot get better - seek help for depression? It can become a vicious circle all too easily.
Counselling can help with both short term and chronic depression, helping you identify and correct the day to day thinking patterns as well as understand the root cause.
Depression can also respond well to other modalities and approaches, and your Doctor or medical professional may advise on exercise, dietary, and other changes that may help.
There's more info on depression, here.
Or, to enquire about counselling for depression in Hendon, contact us direct using the link below.
Long term generalised anxiety often comes from a learned association - a conditioning experience we've had repeatedly over time, but never really realised the conclusions we were making about it, unconsciously.
A counsellor can help you identify how the past contributes to a current day pattern of anxiety in your life, and how to work on it, so that it produces less of an overt reaction in day-to-day life.
Sometimes anxiety only occurs in very specific situations. These can be associated with just one event in the past (if traumatic) enough, where we've learned to fear a certain set of circumstances or events.
A counsellor can help you unearth where such an association may lie, and to view it from a different perspective, to help ease current day to day life.
Multiple techniques are available when working with anxiety, such as desensitisation, exposure therapy, or purely work on past events in the therapy room.
Your counsellor is best placed to guide you through the best options for you, that will provides the greatest relief over time.
Get the full info on counselling for anxiety here.
All relationships go through turbulence, no matter who we are. In fact, relationships with those closest to us, like family, are often the most difficult. Contrasting viewpoints can arise as a result of upbringing, religion, schooling, or even simple generational differences. All of these can cause seemingly insurmountable issues, without help.
Relationships with your significant other can be particularly challenging as their upbringing will consistently conflict with your own, in most cases.
Counselling can help couples put aside differences and start learning and listening to each other, in earnest.
Relationship counselling can assist you both to see where the communication difficulties lie, and how to navigate them.
Many times we don't understand our partner as we don't understand their past. The therapist can assist in helping each individual discover the whys behind the day to day behaviours they see, and how to navigate them.
Paying for counselling means getting focussed and attentive help targeting the most personal and life-changing issues humans go through.
To find out more about relationship counselling, see our main page here.
If you want to get started with counselling for your relationship, get in touch by calling 0191 580 3700, or drop us an email at info ((at)) truthcounsellingnewcastle.co.uk.
We usually think of a friend or loved one dying, when we think of bereavement and grief. But we all experience loss differently, and to differing degrees, depending on what the loss relates to. Substantial emotional symptoms can result from (e.g.) loss of function due to retirement, loss of purpose when children move out, or loss of contact with children, when separating due to divorce.
Many find it difficult to even begin grieving, and feel stuck in a state of dissociation. Others become caught in a prolonged state of grieving, unable to continue functional life without feeling the deep emotions of loss acutely during everyday life.
Grief counselling can help you make key distinctions between a grieving process that is appropriate and healthy, as opposed to one that has become a problem.
Find out more about bereavement counselling.
For bereavement counselling costs and availability, call us on 0191 580 3700.
Anger Counselling Hendon
Anger is often the result of one of our most basic beliefs or values being contradicted.
If internal beliefs, or model of the world, is too restrictive, it can become all to easy to shatter internal ideas about how the world should be, thus resulting in an angry outburst.
Anger management classes are popular, and usually suggest a range of practical steps to take, to minimise anger, and manage it when it does come up.
Rather than manage symptoms alone, counselling for anger issues is more likely to help by analysing how previous events in life have led to a pattern of angry behaviour, over time.
It may be that for one individual, both counselling and anger management are suitable for different stages of the individual's journey. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
Get the full info on counselling options for anger, here.
Our therapists can normally help with counselling for anger issues. To check on costs and ask questions, call us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Often we are unaware of the impact an emotional trauma has, until much later.
A traumatic experience can be anything which sufficiently breaks one's "model of the world" - the beliefs, values, and perceptions we have about how the world works, differences between right and wrong, etc.
Symptoms like desire to be alone, depression, helplessness or hopelessness, and social isolation can all be signs of unresolved trauma that may need professional help to resolve.
We often have a fixed idea about what trauma is, with a vision of a helpless person suffering a huge incident.
There is however also a lesser known version of trauma, the small t trauma - often a series of repeating minor episodes, nevertheless still resulting in longer term unresolved emotional distress.
Trauma counselling can help with both short term, one-off, obvious traumatic experiences, as well as longer term issues accrued over time.
While attending counselling for the first time can be intimidating, your counsellor has done this many times before. Generally, there is nothing you can say that would surprise them or they have not heard before. The counselling room is the one place it's safe to open up and feel heard.
Get full info on trauma counselling.
Questions about trauma counselling? Ring us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Addiction Counselling Hendon
Addiction to a substance or behaviour, usually happens incrementally, over time, and outside our conscious awareness.
If we go through a period of very high stress, it's natural for us to look for ways to ease the pain.
Repeatedly turning to this one way to feel better, can result in addiction.
Eventually we can end up believing that not only is the repeated use of the substance or behaviour ok, but that there is no unusual stress anymore - the stress of the original event has become normal.
Counselling can assist also in cases of non-substance related addiction, such as obsessive cleaning, or collecting things.
Counselling can help you overcome addiction by first understanding the benefit you get, from the substance or behaviour itself. While long term progress takes time, a counsellor can assist you in short term gains by helping you access the right support at times you feel triggered.
Questions re addiction counselling? Get answers direct on 0191 580 3700.
Your First Counselling Session
Meeting Your Counsellor
The first session is usually used to get to know your counsellor, and they you, and set appropriate expectations for your counselling sessions, for example, frequency, how many, charges, etc.
Some counsellors offer the first session free, to see if you are a good fit together. Check if your first meeting carries standard charges or not.
Normally when beginning counselling, you and your therapist will agree on the goals and outcome you want to achieve, and set a timeline for treatment, and how many sessions you'll complete together. It's important to do this from the outset so that you understand each others' expectations, and the following sessions can focus on the counselling itself and not the practical elements.
Get Answers For These Important Questions
Asking specific questions before beginning work with a counsellor can help avoid wasted time and money.
How likely is it that I don't feel better after counselling?
- Make sure you stay connected with your therapist, and share the same expectations about the practical elements, throughout. As well as keeping things moving, this helps the therapist look after you best.
How many sessions should this issue take, in your experience?
- Bear in mind here that this is a very difficult question to answer, with no one solution, as it has so many (very personal) variables and dependencies built in - that are dependent on, for example:
- What comes up during therapy, that needs to be dealt with, that wasn't anticipated beforehand.
- More past events than expected, may be contributing to the pattern of the problem you're experiencing in the here and now. These events take time to process, and feel better about, and can slow the progress of the main issue you went to counselling for. Nevertheless, they are usually necessary to overcome, for best results.
- All of us move at our own speed in therapy, with the time taken to evaluate events, find better alternatives, and have appropriate insights, varying from one person to another. The only "not normal" approach would be expecting everyone to feel better at the same rate.
For all these reasons, don't expect a concrete answer to this question - even a very experienced therapist will be giving you their best estimate, before therapy begins - there is no more accurate information available.
Remember, part of the counsellor's job Is to help you open up painful memories or feelings and re-process them, If the counsellor is under the impression that your sessions are a regular, long-term event, they may help you open up more painful memories or events, with the intention of greater healing possibilities. As you might expect, the more events are opened up, the more they have to be closed down, when treatment completes. Avoid confusion or disagreement around the progress of counselling sessions, by keeping clear communication channels open throughout. This will minimise risk of sessions ending abruptly, with issues undealt with.
Do you have specific expertise in any one area?
- Some counsellors have historical experience or specialist qualifications in particular areas of therapy, such as trauma or PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. Getting answers like these will help you develop a sense of whether you and your counsellor will work well together, before you begin.
How quickly can I begin?
- Tracking down a specialist with expertise in your issue is one thing - but are they free to work with you? Don't forget to check.
Therapy In Hendon
Our therapists work independently. We can usually offer counselling sessions at most locations throughout Tyne & Wear, including Hendon, by arrangement.
Arranging Counselling Hendon
Get an idea of costs, and availability, by ringing us direct on 0191 580 3700.
Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.
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