​COUNSELLING​ ​HIGH SPEN

​Selecting The Best Counsellor High Spen

​Counselling can be an intimidating experience, for those experiencing it for the first time.
You will likely be sharing details of your life, that you wouldn't normally share with anyone else.

Professionals are used to dealing with life's personal details, but you may not be so used to opening up in this way. A strong counselling relationship can significantly change your outlook and perspective on key areas of life - it's important to get it right.

​Finding The Right Therapist/Talk Therapist

A great counselling relationship, with appropriate boundaries, will be based on:​

​- Safety - First and foremost, we need to feel safe to open up about our concerns, in order to receive the help to overcome them.

- Acceptance - Without the confidence that whatever we say, whatever interpretation we've given of a certain event, will be accepted, it can be hard to reveal much of our feelings, in order to get over them. You'll know you may have found the best therapist when they allow you to fully express what's going on, without feeling restricted.

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​- Teamwork - Find someone who you can work together with easily, for best outcomes. As a client you depend on the therapist to lend insight and perspective on the issue you face. But the professional also has a need - for the client to be brutally honest and forthright. If not, the changes achieved may be short term. If you do not fully reveal the info asked of you, it may take longer to achieve the change you want.

​- Consideration - Let understanding and appreciation flow equally between you and your counsellor, to help achieve a stronger counselling relationship. e.g. If your therapist works too slow - the lack of results can mean motivation reduces. But if they work too fast, it can feel awkward, or distressing. Likewise, as the client, a healthy respect should be maintained for the counsellor to guide you towards an appropriate resolution for each issue, no matter how painful that may be, in the short term. Once you have developed a few positive experiences with a counsellor, of revealing a small issue, and successfully working through it, trust can grow, mutual respect can widen, and motivation can increase, making further progress easier.

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​- Active Listener - Thorough counsellors are accomplished at active listening. Understanding non-verbal communication during a session is often just as important for a counsellor, as words spoken aloud. Other times, the therapist may need you to listen - as they guide you towards seeing something from a different perspective. This can be challenging as we have invested a lot of time and energy in our pre-existing beliefs. We all have our stock responses for certain questions, that have become our usual responses, over the years. But being truly ready to listen to a counsellor's question, afresh, as if it's the first time you've heard it, can yield insights that were not possible in the past.

​- Empathy - Everyone, with no exceptions, needs validation in the human experience. It's important to be able to feel that your counsellor is empathetic to your concerns and upsets, understands how and why you feel the way you do, and yet is also willing and able to help lead you to a better place about the issues you're bringing to therapy.

​- Confidence - We don't usually start therapy in a confident place. A lot of folks find themselves at counselling sessions as a lst resort - they've tried everything they can think of, already. Therapy work takes time, and is not a quick fix, nor a one size fits all solution. Sometimes getting wins from counselling is a combination of small wins initially, plus a lot of faith of greater future gains. Optimism about the future, and about what's possible, are important in life, regardless of whether you've felt the need for counselling help or not. But rather than holding out all hope for fantastic gains of huge magnitude, take faith and joy in the small steps during your counselling journey too, because they point you to other realisations you wouldn't otherwise have made.

High Spen Counselling happiness

​- Trust - We have to first feel trust, that the counsellor can handle our emotional baggage, before we have confidence to release it. In counselling, most of us reveal aspects of ourselves and our feelings, we don't reveal to anyone else, even family or loved ones. The impartiality of a third party therapist, can help us open up to heal previous hurts more fully than working with someone we know. We need to trust the counsellor not only with the hurt involved in a particular event we're working on, but also to navigate the counselling and healing journey as a whole. However, the therapist will not always be accommodating, like a friend. Feeling better means giving different meanings to old events - this means challenging you on the conclusions you've made, and the beliefs you hold. This can feel uncomfortable at the time, but trust is required, that the gains will be worth it. A professional with more specialism in  your particular area of concern may help here.

​- Insights - The professional status of a counsellor, and their detachment from your personal circumstances, means they gain nothing from telling you what you want to hear. Part of what you're paying a therapist for, is their ability to highlight big issues, and help you work through them. Having the insight to see what meanings need to be changed, to feel better, is something best left to the professionals. Your long term mental health can make great gains, where these fine distinctions are clearly recognised.

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depression Counselling High Spen

​Depression Counselling High Spen

​Depression is an issue that presents us with a unique challenge - how does someone with depression, who feels unworthy of help, who may believe they cannot get better - seek help for depression? It can become a vicious circle all too easily.

Whether you're suffering from short term sadness about a specific event, or longer term depressive symptoms, counselling can help overcome the thinking patterns of depression, as well as provide practical tools to recognise coping mechanisms attached, that may not be in an individual's best interests.

Your doctor can advise on other depression treatment options beyond counselling, such as other mental health approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or changes to exercise and nutrition. All options should be considered.

Our main page for depression has more information.

To get the counselling options in High Spen, contact us direct, by calling 0191 580 3700, or completing the form opposite.

anxiety Counselling High Spen

​Anxiety Counselling In High Spen

​Although not always the case, the main driver of anxiety, can be conditioning, rather than beliefs. This means, an association we've developed attached to a certain set of circumstances or events, that we've developed unconsciously.

A counsellor can help you identify how the past contributes to a current day pattern of anxiety in your life, and how to work on it, so that it produces less of an overt reaction in day-to-day life.

Counselling can also help with more specific fears, phobias, or episodes of panic, attached to just one episode in the past.

A counsellor can help you unearth where such an association may lie, and to view it from a different perspective, to help ease current day to day life.

Anxiety can be tackled with a variety of approaches in the counselling room, including EMDR, working on the original trauma, or deconditioning the associated experience.

Long term relief from anxiety can only be gained once your therapist has the information they need. They may ask about how the fear state happens over time, how it manifests specifically, and your current coping mechanisms.

More info about counselling for anxiety is available on our main page here.

Relationship Counselling

​All relationships go through turbulence, no matter who we are. In fact, relationships with those closest to us, like family, are often the most difficult. Contrasting viewpoints can arise as a result of upbringing, religion, schooling, or even simple generational differences. All of these can cause seemingly insurmountable issues, without help.

For romantic relationships, issues such as infidelity, differences over children, parenting, money, habits, and simply the busy nature of daily life can decay an otherwise strong and healthy relationship.

Tackling relationship issues in counselling is often the first time couples have seriously spoken to each other about what they truly want from life, and what they expect from each other.

When you live everyday with your partner, it often takes another third party to step in and help you see the wood for the trees, inside the relationship.

Many times we don't understand our partner as we don't understand their past. The therapist can assist in helping each individual discover the whys behind the day to day behaviours they see, and how to navigate them.

Paying for counselling means getting focussed and attentive help targeting the most personal and life-changing issues humans go through.

We discuss relationship counselling and marriage counselling options in more detail here.

To enquire about costs or availability for relationship counselling, ring direct on 0191 580 3700.

bereavement counselling in High Spen

​Bereavement Counselling High Spen

​The passing of a family member, friend, or pet usually explains an episode of sudden grief or loss. But, loss can also occur in many other forms, too. A sense of deep grief or loss can result from being unable to continue a favourite hobby, losing a pet project you've been working on for a while, or enforced retirement.

Some are just beginning the grieving process and don't feel able to grieve, or feel fully. Sometimes grieving can take over, and dominate the rest of life, in a prolonged state of emotional loss called complicated grieving disorder.

Whether you've been suffering over a long term period with chronic grief issues, or lost something or someone only recently, bereavement counselling can help you identify the difference between appropriate grieving and unhealthy levels of grief, as well as practical coping mechanism and supports to use.

More information about grief and bereavement counselling is here.

To arrange sessions of grief counselling, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700 and we'll get things moving.

Anger Counselling

​Anger is often the result of one of our most basic beliefs or values being contradicted.

If internal beliefs, or model of the world, is too restrictive, it can become all to easy to shatter internal ideas about how the world should be, thus resulting in an angry outburst.

Anger management teaches practical tools and techniques to manage anger or rage episodes in day-to-day life.

Managing anger practically like this, can help for the short term, but for long term resolution, therapeutic intervention is usually needed to understand the past, and how it has led to current day feelings of anger, as a habit.

While practical tools and in-the-moment techniques are enough for many, it may benefit those looking for a longer term solution to focus on counselling instead of anger management.

See our main page on anger counselling.

If you're struggling with anger, counselling may help. To book sessions, call direct on 0191 580 3700.

Trauma/PTSD Counselling

​One-off experiences can seem harmless at the time, but depending on how we process them, can results in mental ill-health later.

When an event happens in the outside world which goes against our understanding of life, it results in trauma, that is unprocessed.

Breaking these norms of experience can result in trauma - and feelings of isolation, loss of appetite, lack of socialising, dissociation and lack of interest in life.

A traumatic event can be a big, one-off, sudden, shock.

However trauma can also be much smaller, repeated episodes of emotional distress which, while no individual episode could be considered hugely traumatic, cumulatively add up over time, to aggregated emotional distress and difficulty.

We work with those suffering from all forms of trauma, including acute one-off episodes, through to PTSD or other more chronic manifestations of emotional trauma.

While attending counselling for the first time can be intimidating, your counsellor has done this many times before. Generally, there is nothing you can say that would surprise them or they have not heard before. The counselling room is the one place it's safe to open up and feel heard.

We have more info on trauma counselling options on our main page here.

To get your trauma counselling questions answered, ring us direct, on 0191 580 3700.

Addiction Counselling

​It's easy to become addicted to something in the course of day-to-day life, without noticing it happening consciously.

Sometimes, when going through exceptional stress, we adopt a certain way to cope, as a one-off means to feel better.

It's surprisingly easy to continue using this one coping mechanism in this way, and thus end up using it as the *only* coping mechanism, whenever stress arises.

With too much substance or behaviour abuse comes rationalisation - the belief that the level of stress we're dealing with is now normal - when in fact it is not.

While most present with an addiction to a substance like alcohol or drugs, an increasing number are developing behavioural addictions which could benefit from counselling, such as collecting or hoarding behaviour, viewing pornography obsessively, or compulsive shopping.

Counselling can help gain understanding on the underlying causal issues behind a pattern of behaviour in life. Addiction counselling can also provide short term coping mechanisms and signposting toward support channels until long term gains are made.

Visit our main addiction counselling page, here or, to ask about addiction counselling, ring us direct on 0191 580 3700, or request a callback, here.

counselling session High Spen

​Your First Counselling Session

​The Process

​Initially it's a good idea to agree upon the practical elements early on, like how often you'll meet, where, costs involved, and how long you both expect sessions to continue.

​Charges & Payment

​Private counselling costs can vary wildly, so do check beforehand about specifics. It's common for initial sessions to be a reduced rate, or sometimes, free. Check if your first meeting carries standard charges or not.

​Setting Targets

​Normally when beginning counselling, you and your therapist will agree on the goals and outcome you want to achieve, and set a timeline for treatment, and how many sessions you'll complete together. Dealing with these issues up front makes it easier to get on with the job at hand, later.

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counselling questions High Spen

​Top Questions To Ask

​Answers to the following questions can help you track down the most appropriate therapist for your needs.

​What if I don't get results?

​- Have regular conversations with your therapist to make sure you stay on track toward your goals. This also helps the therapist navigate your sessions together to be the most comfortable experience possible.

​​How long should therapy for (your issue) last?

 - Bear in mind here that this is a very difficult question to answer, with no one solution, as it has so many (very personal) variables and dependencies built in - that are dependent on, for example:

​- Elements from the past, that surface during treatment, that require treatment before the primary complaint can be attended to.
- More past events than expected, may be contributing to the pattern of the problem you're experiencing in the here and now. These events take time to process, and feel better about, and can slow the progress of the main issue you went to counselling for. Nevertheless, they are usually necessary to overcome, for best results.
- Two individuals can be attempting to overcome the same event. One takes much longer/shorter time than the other to achieve insights, and feel better. This is the human experience. The only "not normal" approach would be expecting everyone to feel better at the same rate.

​Accordingly, event the best therapist, will be giving you only their best opinion, of this question.

Also, bear in mind - a counsellor's job is to help you feel better and process events and meanings better, to result in better emotional feelings and mental health. If the counsellor is under the impression that your sessions are a regular, long-term event, they may help you open up more painful memories or events, with the intention of greater healing possibilities. As you might expect, the more events are opened up, the more they have to be closed down, when treatment completes. If you are not open and honest throughout counselling sessions, it can present the possibility of sessions suddenly coming to an end, when emotions are high, and difficult to manage alone.

​​What is your background in counselling?

- Some counsellors have historical experience or specialist qualifications in particular areas of therapy, such as trauma or PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. It's always good to understand the background of your potential therapist, and how that matches your experience, before beginning counselling.

​​What is your availability?

 - Naturally each counsellor's diary is different, and while you might have found a good person-to-person match, don't forget to check availability.

​Counselling Sessions High Spen

​Our counsellors are self-employed and independent. Although most of our counsellors are located in the Newcastle area, different counsellors offer therapy at different locations throughout Tyne & Wear, by arrangement.

​How To Enquire About Counselling

​Get an idea of costs, and availability, by ringing us direct on 0191 580 3700.

Are We A Good Match?

​Our counsellors adhere to the BACP code of ethics and practice.

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